If you love someone and that someone often disappoints you, maybe hurts you, lets you down, wrecks your stuff, or gives you a black eye you can't explain to your boss, you are often compelled to draw a new line in the sand.This goes for parents who go cold on you, adult children who are addicted or mentally ill, friends whose extreme needs soak up all your energy, and lovers and husbands who compartmentalize their gentle and gentlemanly behavior in small cubes, an occasional sweetness on the tongue, so potent that you will forget what happened before and what will happen next....more
If you were a child in the 1970s, you’ll remember the lyrics to the Enjoli perfume commercial: "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan." But in reality, it’s hard enough to work to earn a living and put healthy meals on the table, even without the smelling good and looking sexy.
On September 11, I was supposed to be flying to Rome to officiate a wedding, but in lieu of my father-in-law passing away, plans changed. Everyone told me I shouldn’t risk it because as you know September 11 in our collective memory is the day that it was slammed into us that our lives are incredibly fragile.* It is the day that we learned visibly that all our plans and dreams can be extinguished in a moment. And even though we build huge edifices, fly like birds, and develop sophisticated weaponry, we are still incredibly vulnerable....more
When I contacted Jeff for his interview, he was reserved and a bit on the dry side. Despite my attempts to make him adore me like everyone else, he had a barrier around him. I was a bit disappointed because I thought by some cosmic connection, he would immediately sense who I was and warm up to me. He didn’t.I wanted to say, “Do you know who I am? I am the wife waiting to fall asleep until she hears her husband’s truck pull into the driveway. I am the mother who tucks her children in and has had to answer questions such as ‘Are the bad guys going to kill Papa tonight?’. I am the person in front of you that purchased your meal or coffee because I can see your uniform in my rear-view mirror. I am the person in the crowd who wants to tell you that you are doing a great thing. I am the one won’t turn on the news because she is tired of seeing you crucified. I am the voice that says you aren’t a murderer or bigot or dickhead, you are a good man. I am the one who respects the soldier and the law enforcement officer above all others. I am your friend.”...more
The hardest thing about writing this blog is picking the pictures to go with the stories, Blogging 101 tells you that is how people are drawn to your story. Before writing about Jeff, I looked at every picture on his Facebook page looking for the right one. For a guy, he had plenty to choose from – pics with his wife, with his kids, in his uniform, in his Air Force uniform and even nerdy high school pictures. Amongst them all, I found the perfect picture. It’s a picture of Steve, Jeff, and two of their buddies in Steve’s hospital room. To the random passerby, it just looks like 4 guys visiting their sick friend, but it’s much more than that. It’s a picture of survival, fear, relief and love. Actually, if you look closely, I think Steve and Jeff are holding hands just below where the picture cuts off… If the picture was so perfect, why didn’t I use it? Because I spoke to Jeff and Steve, I see things beyond the exhaustion, things that you may not. To me, the picture of Jeff is very revealing, Steve got shot in the face, and Jeff was the partner trying to keep everything, and everyone, together. I couldn’t use it because I felt the picture was just too personal, there was too much pain in his eyes.So why did I chose this picture? This is the picture of a regular guy on the beach with his kids. This is what is beneath the badge and the blue. This is the man Jeff should be allowed to be. Being a Police Officer doesn’t always allow him that luxury. Being shot at more than once reduces the likelihood that he will ever be that man again. ...more
When agreeing to do the SNAP challenge, I mentioned that Canada doesn’t ‘do’ food stamps. I said I would find out the numbers that would be representative of poverty on this side of the border.I received that information yesterday…and I’m here to tell you that there’s no way I would ever deliberately attempt to follow the same numbers here. Nope, nope, nope. The SNAP challenge is actually *easy* in comparison, in my humble opinion.Ok, so here’s what I found out....more
Riots are a necessary part of the evolution of society. Unfortunately, we do not live in a universal utopia where people have the basic human rights they deserve simply for existing, and until we get there, the legitimate frustration, sorrow and pain of the marginalized voices will boil over, spilling out into our streets....more
Joan Rivers has passed away after suffering complications after vocal chord surgery in New York City. She 81 years old, but her death came as a shock to many of us because she was such a superstar. She was still in the public eye, booking and performing both live and televised shows, tweeting and speaking out for what she believed in.