If you are middle-aged and dating, avoid this guy.

You’d think men and women connecting as grown adults, with some life experience and wisdom behind them, would result in better experiences than what we all went through in our twenties.But you’d be wrong.As John Hughes once so brilliantly wrote, “People don’t mature anymore. They stay jackasses all their lives.”Strong, independent, emotionally secure women hitting their forties in this era are often surprised to find our hearts break just as easily as they did in the 90s. Unfortunately, we can’t just lose ourselves in ice cream and Cure albums anymore....more

Next Time You Should Be More Careful About Who You Lay Down With

You know that feeling you get when you know what you’re doing and you’ve got it all figured out? RUN! Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. It’s a trap!...more

Post No. 4: Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe and Nasty Comments

My guilty admission:  I sometimes get sucked into The Bachelor or Bachelorette.  I love a good romance, and I always hope these people will pick the right person and live their happily ever after.   I know that even though this is a “reality” show; in reality, lasting “love” rarely happens in 6-8 weeks.   And that whole “fantasy suite” deal bothers me for a few different reasons....more

There are no wrong decisions.

When I was 24, I was broke and single. I was doing what I loved working 60-hour weeks. That summer, I was a bridesmaid in three weddings, and attended three more as a guest.I had dates and a few relationships scattered over the years, but not one time did I picture myself in a house with a white picket fence and a husband and some kids. Even in the flurry of bouquets and cakes and wedding melt-downs, I never felt the urge to pair up. I was happy on my own....more

No Mud. No Lotus.

“Just like the lotus we too have the ability to rise from the mud, bloom out of the darkness, and radiate into the world.” Author UnknownI don’t go to this place very often. I don’t go there because it’s dark and heavy. I don’t go there because I am such a lover and believer in the perfection of the journey. I don’t go there because I really have forgiven myself. ...more

I’m Not Desperate-- I Just Want a Date!

I have a friend that recently went through a bad break-up. You know the kind where everything is alright and then out of nowhere you get the "Dear Jane" speech? Well that’s what she got; “It’s not you it’s me” just out of the clear blue sky. Now she’s out here trying to do everything to fill the black hole the break-up left her with....more
I met a nice guy at my job. Which was nice. That online stuff is scary and I am always ...more

Dating Lessons from a Cut-Rate Flounder

 I overdid the on-line dating thing and am now in recovery.    I have killed off my avatar of amour, my doppelganger of dating.  I 'm no longer on any sites, my phone is quiet in the evenings and I have stopped over-using the emoji library.   Since we are mortal and I hate to think it was all a waste of time, here is what I learned from my time as Ladywriter99 on Tinder, Plenty of Fish, J-Date and OK Vapid.  1.  My Time is valuable...more

Insecurity and Nervousness Squared or Just Narcissism Much?

The next guy I’m going to tell y’all about from my first year online I nicknamed Ian the Indian even though his name wasn’t Ian. Nor was he Indian. And if you’re actually surprised about either of those sentences, I have to ask: have you read ANY of my other posts? ...more

Dating: It Just Took Two “Weird” Experiences to Figure Out What the Most Potent Red Flag Is! And it’s not what you think!

I am a 28 year woman and I discuss dating (or rather the possibilities of it in my life) with my best friend. And she does the same. We have been friends since nursery and have discussed love, intimacy, dating and flirting with each other—quite naturally without feeling the need for censorship. I haven’t been in a serious relationship all my life while she has had two of them. However, we do discuss “men” in our lives and every time we do so, it’s me who comes up with the right prediction while discussing her relationships and vice versa....more