Distance love

"What? Are you in a long distance relationship?What do you have in your head for God's sake" ......more

I Choose Him Over Family This Holiday Season

The Boyfriend and I are six months in and the holidays are creeping up. He’s an LA implant so choosing where to spend the holidays would be simple if this were an ordinary situation, but it’s not. My dad is not a fan of this relationship so for the first time ever I have to choose; spend the holidays with my family or with the boyfriend?...more

Why Truth in Advertising Is Not A “Whatever, Dude”.

Advertising: “Techniques and practices used to bring products, services, opinions, or causes to public notice for the purpose of persuading the public to respond in a certain way.”Huh. ...more

Facing the Facts

Girls Don't Fart

Once upon a time, in a land far away, I dated a guy who believed that girls aren’t supposed to fart. He said it to me right after I let rip the first wallop of our fledgling 3 month relationship.  I’ll admit, it wasn’t a dainty toot.  My anal acoustics were akin to Maverick and Goose flying by the control tower.  It was a bold first fart.This guy was clearly not a good match for me as I possess a stomach whose main digestive function is to produce rectal turbulence....more
Hmmmm, I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one lol.  Not that Ward wasn't a wanker as ...more

7 Reasons to Never Start a Relationship in Winter

Winter arrived early like an unwanted relative and dumped record amounts of snow as if to announce, “Put away the jeweled flip-flops, Sweetheart, and grab a coat before you freeze your assets.”Because I’ve been around the block many times in all kinds of weather, I’m here to give unsolicited but helpful advice if you intend to enter into a new relationship.Here are some reasons you should never start dating during cold weather:...more
Not to mention another gift to figure out!more

Girls Should Never Fart

romanticizing a damn good smile

Jolie whispered how she doesn't like to walk into the theater when it's full. I agreed, as I stopped in the empty hallway and stretched my legs and arms out into the classic eighties, rock-n-roll, singer pose and suggested we enter the movie like that. Like, in a whisper-scream - Are you ready to rock, people! My sister, Maddie, reached the doorway first, since I was in the back looking for a guitar to smash, when she turned to look at me. ...more

Catch And Release at the Fish Pond - The Trials and Tribulations of Online Dating

After reviewing the defintion of insanity, I decided to take a different approach to dating the last time I was single.  I dipped my freshly pedicured toes into the online dating pool, which turned out to be a lot shallower than I first anticipated. There are definitely a lot of fish in the sea of profiles, faces that blended together after endless scrolling. Over the course of my adventure, I noticed a number of phenomenas/complications that were not a thing when I was dating before I met my ex (possibly because I was 15). ...more

Dating Multiple People - Part of My Tinder Story

Ask any dating expert, as in real “experts” other than me, because you should not be here for advice, they will say the key to successfully dating online and potentially meeting your match is to compare and contrast multiple people in real time by pitting them against each other to gage what you like and what you don't, versus what qualities are important against those that aren't. This is fact, however, just because I've stated it does not mean I'm either for or against this concept, not am I convinced that this type of dating works....more