While I will never regret starting locs, I'd be lying to you if I told you it was a simple decision. You see, I had thick, beautiful, straight (from chemical perms) hair -- which is prized in the African-American community. Even when I turned 18 and decided I still wanted locs, my mom wasn't a fan of the idea.
I was in my early forties when I was diagnosed with degenerative osteoarthritis in both hips. Unable to cross a room without two canes or a walker, I couldn't stand at the kitchen counter long enough to open a can of soup, let alone prepare a decent family meal. The pain in my left side was almost unbearable, but I couldn't stomach the pain meds my doctor kept prescribing.
Worst of all, my only child was in middle school and I was too exhausted to drive the carpool, let alone volunteer for his extra-curricular activities.
When I was about nine –- the age my daughter is now –- I was told I was fat. Which was untrue, actually, but which quite literally scarred me for life. My own mother tried to teach me how to not hate myself, but she didn't walk the walk as they say, and I learned, through her actions, how not to love Me....more
I turn forty on a Wednesday, and for me this is a long-awaited day. I have wanted to be forty since I was in my twenties. Why? Because the idea of turning forty is ripe with a sense of true womanhood. You are not a woman, not really, until you are forty. Everything before forty is trite, experimental, and full of the work that will bring you the fruits of forty.
Some months ago, a phone conversation with my BlogHer colleague Rita Arens turned toward my experience of having ankylosing spondylitis, an arthritic condition that froze my spine over the course of 30 years, first into a ramrod pole and now into a shepherd's crook. With her encouragement, I jabbered on about how, along the way, I've loved and lost, borne and raised two children, managed a career and had bi-lateral hip replacements - two surgeries - a week apart, followed by single doses of radiation. Then Rita suggested that my story would be a good addition to the "Own Your Beauty" series.That shut me up....more
Earlier this month, my friend Victoria and I shared with you our thoughts about confidence being the ultimate form of sex appeal. Over the past few weeks, I've had second thoughts. I mean, what if the only reason we believed this was because we're women and simply wanted to believe this was the case? I mean, let's face it: As women -- to some extent -- we sort of have a conflict of interest when it comes to what makes a woman sexy....more
The idea of sexiness typically conveys a certain image in our minds. A woman of a certain body type, often showing off lots of that body. But that leaves a lot of us out of the picture. My body doesn't look like that and even if it did, I don't think I'd dress in that way because it's simply not my style. Does that mean I'm not sexy? According to Karen, true sexiness comes from confidence. I find it hard, sometimes, to feel confidant about things that go against the grain. It takes effort to change that thought process in my mind and to have it reflect in my every day life, to have it glow from within. It takes a decision....more