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Writer, facilitator, researcher, coach, avid reader, enjoyer of life, opinionated about everything.  Love to dance, cook, walk, break bread with...
 
 
 
 

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Technology Connects the Family

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I have been emailed and IMed. I’ve been “friended” on FaceBook, My Space, Plaxo and Shelfari (my virtual bookcase). I have been Linked In. Couldn’t live without Skype or My Family and Ancestry accounts. I’ve been tested through texting and texted myself – although I still resist twittering. All of this technology has connected my far-flung family especially across the generations. Or rather I should say it has connected those family members who use the computer and its communication, social networking, resource sharing and data/info gathering capabilities.

My daughter’s internet search skills uncovered a half-sister I didn’t know I had and found my biological father whom I hadn’t heard from (or even thought was alive) for 40 years. She is the keeper of the family tree on Ancestry.com and has gathered photos from relatives via postal-mail that do not have email or computers that she uploads onto the My Family and Ancestry accounts. She has traced the family on her father’s side back into slavery times with the aid of on-line resources. Her activities have gotten some of our computer-phobic relatives to get on board.

On Facebook I have been pleasant surprised by the number of connection requests I've received from many of my children’s childhood friends who remember the special meals, overnights and adventures we shared and reach out to connect to “Miss Silva” as they call me (no matter how many times I told them to say, “Msssss. Silva” because I haven’t “missed” anything).

The webcam and the application Skype have allowed me to reach across the miles and read books to my granddaughter, sing songs with her, watch her as she twirls around and takes a bow, or just plays in the background as my daughter and I have a virtual visit. My granddaughter knows me and is not shy when we see each other face-2-face. I AM HER NOT-SO-DISTANT GRANDMOTHER AFTER ALL! Skype also allows me to look into my drama-prone daughter’s face and see how she is really doing beyond what her words say.

Getting the rest of the family to Skype has not proven easy and I’m talking about the ones who already have computers. You would think I was asking them to fly to the moon. Except for two cousins, who also happen to be sisters, none of the family has gotten on board. We do, however, have an Uncle who forwards every joke and rumor on the internet. He doesn’t write messages or notes himself, rather he passes along jokes. Expecting this I can open them or not. This is his way of staying connected. Before he got a computer, we never heard from him at all. Other relatives will occasionally upload a photo every now and again. Still others are sharing recipes.

In the past year, my siblings have now begun to communicate more regularly via email than they ever did with postal mail. The three of us used email to plan the surprise party we gave my mother and stepfather for their 75th and 81st birthdays, respectively. It was an efficient way to share research, organize the details and update progress.

Technology is neutral; it is we users who determine its value. I have noticed that younger family members and friend play more with technology in ways that seem frivolous and often too revealing to me. I don’t want “ghetto snacks” or “to see what kind of gangsta I am” and other applications on Facebook. I have disconnected with many people who sent too many updates. Most of my family and friends within my age range use technology to communicate longer thoughts and ideas and rarely engage in shorthand statements. I recognize and work with our generational differences. At least we are communicating!

Internet technology is my friend and when it isn’t, I love the fact that it has an off-button that I can use to keep it from encroaching on real interactions in real time. The internet is keeping my family connected and shortens the physical distance that separates us. Before too long, I know that I will have my mother, sister, brother and son on Skype and we will get to see each other’s faces whenever we want and not just the once or twice a year when we are in the same place. I also anticipate it becoming commonplace for us to video conferencing capabilities to

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Candelaria Silva 5 pts

Thanks for sharing.  this is another great example of using technology to keep in touch.

http://blog.candelarisilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

Kaylie 5 pts

Even not-so-distant family can stay in touch with technology. I send my husband Facebook messages all the time when he's at work. With the little ones running around, sometimes it's the only way we ever get to complete a sentence.

kbojar 5 pts

I posted your piece on  http://www.the-next-stage.com/    with  a link to your webite/blog. I've enjoyed reading your blog and  just subscribed and will add your blog to my blog roll. Thanks for giving permisison to cross-post

Karen Bojar, kbojar1@verizon.net

http://www.the-next-stage.com/

Candelaria Silva 5 pts

How complimentary that you'd like to post this entry on your website.  Thank you so much.  Yes, you may.  I will now check out your website as well.

http://blog.candelarisilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

Candelaria Silva 5 pts

To be able to keep up with your nieces in this way.  It's also thoughtful of your sister to make sure you keep up with them via technology.

Thanks for commenting.

http://blog.candelarisilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

B_houseoverflowing 5 pts

My sister has three wonderful children.  And I know them well based on being a virtual aunt.  I can follow their blogs.  They can read mine if they want.  But my sister has made sure I have gotten photos and links and videos and updates regularly through their lives.

I live in Colorado and they live in Chcago area now but have lived in Florida, Oregon and Wisconsin.  I don't travel much but have been able to be a part of their growing up thanks to technology!  I can get instant updates and capture all those mundane details that the annual Yule card does not include.

I am not up to speed on Twitter and I don't have a Facebook page.  But I do blog and email. So i love how technology has allowed us to stay close.

~B
House Overflowing ( http://www.houseoverflowing.com/ )

kbojar 5 pts

Thanks so much! My readers are mostly retired women and they could really benefit from your advice. I am going to post it on Tuesday or Wed. as I want to keep my post on Kennedy and Obama (which has been getting a lot of hits) up on front page for another day or two.  My email is kbojar1@verizon.net

Karen Bojar

http://www.the-next-stage.com/

kbojar 5 pts

A great post! 

I would like to crosspost it on my website at

http://www.the-next-stage.com/

  for women who are retired. I would include a link to blogher.com and to your website.

Let me know if this is okay with you.

Karen Bojar

http://www.the-next-stage.com/

Candelaria Silva 5 pts

What an eloquent comment!  The technology allows us to share more mundane details.  I fine that those are the ones that I miss most being at a distance from family.  "We feel like we are a part of each other's lives, even when we are multiple oceans away."  Yes, exactly.  Thank you for commenting.

http://blog.candelarisilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

ItsyBitsyKC 5 pts

Nothing can replace the precious moments where you can spend time in-person with your loved ones, but when that is not a choice, techonology is definitely a valuable medium. 

My family is scattered all over the place, all over Asia and the United States, so we keep in touch with Skype.  Because of the internet, I am able to conference call with many family members at once, and talk with my mother every night before I go to bed.  She would share her recipes with me when I am homesick, and I am able to show her my new haircut when I get one.  All of a sudden, we're not as far away from each other as it had seemed. Even the mundane details we share of our everyday lives is precious; because of these details, we feel like we are a part of each other's lives, even when we are multiple oceans away. 

Candelaria Silva 5 pts

There is definitely a digital divide in my family and it's not always among the cousins I'd have expected.  Some of the teachers in the family don't use technology except when they have to at work.  (Some of them don't read books much either - shudder.)  Anyhow, people resist what they don't understand or what they perceive as being to difficult. Perhaps memories of having to learn computer languages still hover among the early non-adapters.  Still, persistence will bring them all on board.

Thanks, again, for your comments.

http://blog.candelarisilva.com ( http://blog.candelarisilva.com/ )

Good and plenty!

Beth Engel 5 pts

It's not that I don't get why people complain about technology and the lack of face to face interaction  - it's just that I think its positives far outweigh its negatives in terms of keeping people closer. 

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Beth

I've been running my own personalized gifts ( http://epicmerchandise.com/ ) store since 2003.