Technology, Sex, and the Control of Women
by Suzanne Reisman

In the past few weeks, two seemingly disparate events took place regarding control of female sexuality and technology. On April 4, The Telegraph reported that a Saudi woman was beaten, shot, and killed by her father when he discovered her chatting with a man on Facebook. Gizmodo published an interview with "Zoltan," a self-described "technosexual" who invented a robot who could consent to having sex with him because real women made him uncomfortable (and apparently said no). Both stories are interesting (and horrifying) juxtapositions of how technology can help break sex discrimination, and how they can reinforce old notions of the need to control women's behaviors.

In the case of the unnamed murdered woman, technology was a way to break free of restrictive social norms and taboos. Who even knows what she was chatting about? It may not have had anything to do with sex, but Saudi preacher Ali al-Maliki has been campaigning against Facebook as "a door to lust." Others allege that the site "is an avenue for the promotion of homosexual relations in Saudi Arabia." Given that Facebook has allowed "people making contact outside family and class connections," according to the report, it is obvious why ultra conservatives would deem the website deviant: it means that the traditionally powerless have access to power.

Silly Bahraini Girl hit the nail right on the head when she wrote:

I don't know what would have happened to her had she been caught chatting to a man in person... or rather I wouldn't want to even think of it... I am yet to get to grips with the mentality of some of the men in our society whose entire world revolves around controlling the women in their lives. Don't they have anything better to do? And you all know what it is all about right? Since they have no control over anything else in their lives, they concentrate all their energy keeping their women and employees subjucated under their little thumbs.

This incident and the 100s of other incidents have nothing to do with Islam, which has given women all their rights in theory. It has a lot to do with weak men, whose only achievement is controlling the women in their lives. Well done little men! Hope that murder and blood on your hands is another accolade you proudly wear around your necks. Way to go!

In the other technology story, a "woman" is rewarded for her sexuality - as long as she submits to her male creator's demands. Zoltan invented his robot girlfriend Alice because he finds actual humans to be too "biological and messy." When she rejected him at one point, he merely erased her memory and started over. If only all women were so easy to deal with! Alice is Zoltan's girlfriend, but another robot he invented, Kiri, is purely a "sex slave." (On the flip side, I suppose it is better to hold a robot as a sex slave than an actual woman, but it is still a disturbing idea.) Not that Zoltan has anything against women per se. After all, he did invent Hal for us hetero ladies who prefer dildotronic sex with 'bots to attempting to form relationships with men. Oy, this is all giving me a headache, honey.

Thinking Difference tried to be open-minded in her reaction to the situation:

To me, it was a disturbing idea of what a heterosexual woman is supposed to be - here it is, I think I nailed the source of my narrow-mindedness! A woman made up of a hole, able to 'feel' what is going on inside, and to connect it back to a form of artificial intelligence. The way I saw it, it was not only the physical aspect that mattered, it was also the consent that the artificial intelligence was giving, the 'verbalization' of this consent, "do whatever you want to do with me".

I could see the empowerment dimension for some people who are unable to fulfill their sexual drives. And this is what bothers me: I find that my own reaction is narrow-minded, yet there's something deeply embodied about it... For Donna Haraway, the promise of technology could be the promise of a "world without gender, which is perhaps a world without genesis, but maybe also a world without end" (Cyborg Manifesto, 1991). A technological vision of the post-gender world was somehow appealing, but hey, we don't want to totally get rid of sexuality. What was interesting was the idea that technology could somehow move us beyond the gender divisions, into a world in which gender categories, bodies and sexualities were no longer objects of power: "a cyborg world might be about lived social and bodily realities in which people are not afraid of their joint kinship with animals and machines, not afraid of permanently partial identities and contradictory standpoints".

But I had trouble reading Alice, the robot of one man's technosexual dreams in this way. I read it first and foremost as a dream of patriarchal heterosexuality: a submissive woman, where submissiveness is consented to. Yes, the sex dolls have been around for a long time now. But they didn't have 'free will' (however 'free' is conceived of here). Is there something wrong with the dolls consenting, you'd say. Is there something wrong with technology being endowed with 'feelings' and able to respond to ours? In a generic sense, I'd say no. But in this precise case, I'd ask who is programming technology's feelings and free will, and in what ways, based on what values and to whose benefit.

Like Thinking Difference, I agree that it is important to recognize that just because I am not into a certain sexual behavior, that doesn't make it "wrong." Unlike Thinking Difference, I am not going to worry that I seem narrow-minded in my reaction to Zoltan and his robot lovers: he creeps me out, and I find his need to control women utterly disturbing. The people behind Free Alice seem to agree. (Or else they are very good at mocking uptight us feminists against robot sex slaves...) Clearly it is easier for "Zoltan" and others like him to invent a robot than it is to learn how to interact with other people. Yes, some people are socially awkward. Trust me; I get it. (If you've ever seen me at a cocktail reception at a conference, you've noticed me standing in a corner by myself, nervously stuffing my face with hors d'ouevres, and knocking back Diet Cokes as if they would help me "loosen up" like a good shot of something strong.) But I'm with Thinking Different: this is not different. It is anti-social, and just as sick an attempt to control women as the father in Saudi Arabia's murder of his own daughter.

Technology can bring important changes to our lives, and help people lead freer, more fulfilling lives. However, like anything else, until technology exists outside of a misogynistic, sexist mindframe, it is just as entrapping as a repressive as the real world.

Suzanne also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch & Other Rants and Live Active Cultures. She used to really love that identity left commercial in which the guy talks about building his girl robot through the body of the woman whose credit card he stole, but now she is too grossed out by the whole "robot sex slave" thing.

Comments

 

Wires in Wet Places

Well, yeah....  Um. So not my thing. 

That said, I think you're right when you suggest that it's better that he "gets it on" with his robotic girlfreind than with you or me. (I certainly feel no need to make him love me!)

I dunno, we're all just wired differently. So I don't have any problem with it.  I just don't want to do it.  Ironically, I was just chatting with a friend of mine who is a pioneer in dildotronic sex (has a machine in the Sex Museum in NYC,) and when I talk to him about it, it seems just as normal as talking to anyone about any other kind of sex. Most of which I'm not interested in, but always glad to see people get what they want.

It's also worth remembering that power play in sex takes many forms.  Some people like to dominate, others like to be dominated, thank goodness both exist!

Oh, and electronics in wet places freak me out. I've read the label on my hair dryer.  

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE: A Web Site To Save The World

Start Her Up: A blog for Women Entrepreneurs

 

I like robots

Obviously the murder was wrong. We can all agree on that. However, I support the robot. It's nothing more than hi-tech masturbation. Sure, he could be using his brain to invent robots that help humanity rather than satisfy his own sexual desires, but he's not hurting anyone. I say let him have his robot lover. The "need to control women" is no different than a "need to slay zombies" in a videogame or something.

Point it, it's NOT a real girl. 

 

Control vs. consent

I agree with both of you that Zoltan can have his robot and fuck her, too.  To each his own, although I sort of am not into encouraging people to disengage from other humans.  That's not really a great solution to one's social anxieties.  My bigger problem is the idea that he wants a female to submit to him.  When the robot said forget it, he reprogrammed her.  That's where it gets creepy to me.  The whole "Do what I want or I'll make you do what I want" thing is not very alternative to how a lot of the conventional world works.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

 

And...

I also am bothered by the idea that if real women won't do what you want, you should just replace them with robots.  Very "Stepford Wife..." 

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

 

Yes,but

I do think that it's possible - perhaps necessary - to separate sex play from "real life."  Some of the most powerful people I know are very submissive sexually, and it may be part of how they "balance" things our for themselves. And vice versa.  Our sexuality is incredibly complex, and how we weave it into and around how we live our lives is the source of an incredible amount of anxiety for some people.  

Indeed, if "I" consider myself a strong feminist, but fantasize about being tied up and dominated by a man, how do I reconcile that? How do i achieve sexual satisfaction without feeling "guilty" in regards to my feminist values and peers?  Likewise, men who are unconditionally respectful of women, but their sexual desires appear to contradict that.

It's hard to keep our personal politics out of our bedrooms - much less everyone else's - but we sort of have to.

Some part of me actually appreciates the honesty of the guy in saying, "i want a robot.  rather than trying to make a real woman into a robot, i'm gonna make a robot."

I'm much more offended - MUCH MORE OFFENDED - by the "real" people I see living robotic and disingenuous lives out there. Playing a part that isn't what they want because they believe that they have to in order to be accepted by society. And offended by the society that expects it. 

I love the Stepford Wives by the way. What brilliant social commentary! 

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE: A Web Site To Save The World

Start Her Up: A blog for Women Entrepreneurs  

 

Engaging vs. checking out

I'm not even sure that the whole robot girlfriend is really about sex.  That's clearly part of it, and like you and Des, I'd rather have someone acknowledge that real women are too complicated and invent a robot instead of trying to control a person.   This is probably where I am not expressing myself well.  If someone is submissive or dominant sexually, that's fine by me. 

At the same time, I worry that a solution is not bother engaging with people to find the right partner, but instead to completely check out of the world and invent what you want.  As people, we grow and learn by meeting others, sharing our beliefs and desires, and compromising to make others happy while also finding ways to please ourselves.  If a segment of humanity doesn't even bother, do we not in that sense lose our humanity?  What if everyone just gives up and invents robots to re-affirm their views of the world and help them live comfortably?  In a way, is that not how the Saudi woman's father reacted - he didn't like that someone chose to not live her life the way he saw fit?

I think I mixed up too many issues with this.  At root, it's about how we interact as humans.  Should we engage with others, even if we don't always get what we want, or should we give up and indulge ourselves with a "yes" man?

This is an interesting conversation, and of course, your answers made me challenge my own thinking.  (If I just asked Hal what he thought, he'd probably confirm that my narrow reaction to the situation was right.  And if he didn't, I could just reprogram him until I heard what I wanted.)

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

 

The Beginnings of Cherry 2000

Suzanne I don't know if you have ever seen this movie. It was made in 1987 about a man searching for a replacement for his android wife/sex toy. He was happy with the android and when it conked out he wanted to replace that exact model. That is the beginning of the story.

It is one of those unspoken (around women) dreams that some men have, to have the women they want to specs.

I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. It does present some troublesome possibilities. Such as what if a person wanted an android/robot built to look like a pre-teen person?

Or from a catalog they get to mix and match from movie stars of the past? If they pay extra they get a bio copy of Marilyn Monroe?

For people with little social skills or have a difficult time convincing a corporeal person to share their life with them it might not be such a bad thing.

If I get older and much more wealthy I might want to buy a full size copy of Cary Grant, Denzel Washington or go Sci-Fi with Jean Luc Picard. I odn't think we are dealing with sex as much as being lonely or the need to connect as best we can.

Isn't that why some of us have sex toys? If this is wrong then should women ditch their iBods and find a guy who is willing to vibrate them?

Gena - Out On The Stoop

 

That's why you're so great....

All really interesting subjects are hard to squeeze into a blog post - thank god (or someone) that people like you try to.

Yes, sex and "human engagement" are different things.  For some of us (and yes, I would argue the healthier of us) they intertwine blissfully most of the time. (Okay, a lot of the time. I agree with Susan's post that sometimes we can do "it" just to do "it.") 

I think you're right that what you're trying to get at here is that there is a problem with people who are not taught how to engage, connect and interact with other humans on a human level.

Now that is something that I can agree with 100%. This guy's sexual kink doesn't strike me as the best example of that, but there is ample evidence out there that, as a society, we don't model real relationships very well. It's no wonder we're raising generations of people who don't know how to have them. 

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE: A Web Site To Save The World

Start Her Up: A blog for Women Entrepreneu

 

Exactly!

I am so glad that forums exist so that we can talk through these sticky issues! 

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

 

I agree about the memory erasure

That was really where Zoltan went, for me, from being hilariously wacky to kind of disturbing. There's an underlying feeling from his interview and his website that he wants women to be like Alice: if only they would be submissive to him.

 

technology provides power to the powerless

Thanks for the blog post. What drew my attention most was your comment about when "traditionally powerless have access to power" the traditionally powerful become violent. Technology's ability to disseminate information instantly helps bring such power to the powerless.

For this reason, I become enthralled when I learn about technology moving into areas of the world that were lacking such technology prior. For example, cell phone access in Africa, or wide spread internet access in China. Such trends give power (and hope) to the powerless. Recently a photo from a cell phone revealed oppression and corruption in China where such secrets were previously well kept. The "Blogger's Hero" was killed for snapping the cell phone photo but the photo got out to the rest of the world.

Maria
Chickable

Life's a Chick Trip

 

Very interesting your post,

Very interesting your post, Suzanne. I´m going to translate an abstract in spanish, linking your article.

 

Thanks,

 

(koon)
TODAS :: La bitacora para ellas :: The blog for girls ::
TODAS :: The blog for girls ::