My oldest son didn't get his license until he was 22 and in the Army. My middle son got his license at my insistence on his 18th birthday. I insisted because he's a drummer and I was tired of rearranging our lives for his never-ending list of gigs and rehearsals. Plus, he's commuting to college and I sure didn't want to drive the 35 miles each way.

So now he has his own car with all the safety bells and whistles. A nice solid car. And he's a careful driver. But this week, with all the rain and flooding on the freeways, I've been a nervous wreck, because it's not just HIM, it's all the other insane California drivers out there on the freeways that scare me.

I'm learning to employ breathing relaxation techniques. And prayer. Prayer helps a lot....but I'll still be glad when I can watch him drive away without that tiny little bit of panic in the back of my mind.

karoli (odd time signatures)

My oldest daughter got her license at 17 so that she could drive herself to work and home again rather than me sitting in a dark cold Jersey parking lot waiting for her to be finished with the clean up. I thought this was going to kill me, the driver's license thing. Literally. She almost drove my van through the wall of the elementary school the first day I took her to practice. At 45mph. From then on, her father taught her to drive and honestly - she still makes me nervous and she's 24.

My son, he's 21 now, got his license on his 18th birthday and bought a car the same day. I have no idea how he learned to drive, I certainly didn't teach him and his father lived thousands of miles away so he didn't teach him either. My son is an incredibly safe driver and I've had almost no worries about him.

Now Michelle will be 18 in 13 days and she still has no license. She waivers back and forth between wanting a car and not wanting a car and I've been happy with that not wanting a car bit. She's saved a TON of money in the last two years and she's matured a lot. She got a brand new (used) bike last week and has been enjoying her independence that way by having me drive her to work with the car in the trunk and then riding home. But, she really does need a license and a car. Very soon, she may not be living in the same city that I'm living in and she's going to have to take responsibility for getting herself where she needs to be and the bus and bike just won't be enough. Yes, I'm terrified by the idea of my baby driving and of riding in the car with her. TERRIFIED. TW is going to have to teach her to drive.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Thanks guys...It's nice to know I'm not alone. :)

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
CatherineBlogs, The Political Voices of Women, Care2 Election Blog

I don't have a remedy, I'm afraid but I will put a positive spin on the getting the license thing: if my son were just two years older, instead of relying on my husband while I've had to be immobile, I could have been sending my son out to do everything! :)

It will be O.K. :) And so will you.

Jill
Writes Like She Talks

I've been through this 5 times, with 5 sons. I thought we were going to have to get a second mortgage when they were all on our car insurance!

Our nightmare scenarios differ from those of you in CA and NJ. Here the issue is narrow, twisting roads, mountains, the possibility of sliding off the road in a remote area far from help, or having car problems in said remote areas. The boys learned to drive on the farm, some of them on the tractor so when they got behind the wheel they weren't novices. I ended up being the teacher because I'm pretty calm, but even so there were some white-knuckle moments. All of them survived, although I can't say the same for their cars--ditches, a fender bender here or there, and one roll-over. (The details of that call for another post about handling your kid when you find pot in the vehicle--another story).

This winter I taught my grandson to drive while his Dad's in Iraq. Again, I'm the calmest one so the job was mine. He's doing fine--had his first experience with sliding on ice this week, and it was an eye-opener for him when his jeep went sliding sideways on our narrow one-lane road. He goes slower now when the road look slick, and puts it in 4WD.

I just wanted to let you know that it is possible to survive this phase. I think we're still recovering from the cost of insurance for so many young male drivers, though!

Granny Sue
Stories from the Mountains and Beyond
www.grannysu.blogspot.com
susannaholstein@yahoo.com

My daughter was gung-ho about getting her permit, getting her license. My husband had to start the teaching and I gradually got used to the idea that she and whichever parent would die! But, we survived just fine and she is a good driver, With teens, you gotta pray that they live until their adult-brain kicks in (per latest scientific research).

What helped was thorough training-I was a nonstop talker warning about every possible thing that could happen. It did help her to see all the other crazy (adult) drivers out there so she would learn to watch out for others, and that one time I let her start drifting into oncoming traffic while she fiddled with the radio like I told her not to was shockingly good training! I think I prepared her well and she has never had an accident except for when an adult driver knicked her tail while she was stopped at a 4-way.

Sometimes you just gotta let go and just pray. Like baby birds leaving the nest, this is a dangerous time of life, but most kids do survive just fine, even through accidents. Give them good training, threaten to take the keys if they cellphone while driving or cause an accident or don't wear a seatbelt. Neighbors and friends can be spies, too, reporting driving habits to you if they see your child on the road. Odds are high that your child survives--but will you?!

Linda
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
http://moonbridgeblog.blogspot.com

Thanks so much Linda, I think you're right. :)

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
CatherineBlogs, The Political Voices of Women, Care2 Election Blog

Frances Ellen is the Narrator of the Story of Nadia - The continuing fiction story of a card reader named Nadia.

About an hour after my mother handed me the keys to the family car for my very first solo ride, I phoned her to explain that I had smashed the whole right end fin of the car flat as a pancake. (in those days, cars had fins and fancy stuff on the back and sometimes on the front of the cars.)

Luckily, my enocunter involved a tree, not another car. Parellel parking was my downfall.

Many years later, my mother told me she could still recall how her heart started pumping when she heard my voice on the other end of the phone that day. So, all I can tell you is, after a less than prestigious beginning, I am still here 45 years later. Relax.

My son just started driver's ed this week. I was looking forward to him being able to drive so I wouldn't have to shuttle him around anymore. Now I have a twitch...thanks

redheadshesaid
http://redheadranting.blogspot.com/

My husband says I'm irrational because I worry about Dawson getting his driver's license and he's only three. I just freak out, knowing someday he'll be in a car without me and I won't be able to protect him from everything.

I don't know how to get over that fear. I know it doesn't pay to worry about it now, but age 16 will be here before I know it.