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Teen Girls in Abusive Relationship

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We at www.PrincessBubble.com strive to empower girls/women and are sadden by the below article and know we still have much to do in this fight to protect our girls and remind them they are special and wonderful princesses!

 

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Teenagers and preteens endure significant levels of different types of abuse in dating relationships -- particularly among those who become sexually active at a young age -- and most parents are unaware of what is going on in those relationships, a survey released Tuesday said.

About 10 percent of the teenagers surveyed said they had had sex by age 14, a new survey says.

About 10 percent of the teenagers surveyed said they had had sex by age 14, a new survey says.

Sixty-nine percent of teens who had sex by age 14 reported some type of abuse in a relationship, with slightly more than one-third saying they had been physically abused, according to the survey, conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited.

About 10 percent of the teenagers surveyed said they had had sex by age 14, while 20 percent said they had sex between the ages of 15 and 16.

One in five 13- or 14-year-olds in relationships say they know friends and peers who have been "struck in anger" by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sixty-two percent have friends who have been called stupid, worthless or ugly by their dates.

Liz Claiborne Inc. and loveisrespect.org commissioned the survey. Loveisrespect.org operates the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline.

"What makes this data so disturbing is the clear and unexpected finding that dating abuse and violence begins at such a young age," said Jane Randel, the vice president of corporate communications for Liz Claiborne Inc., at a news conference to coincide with the survey's release.

And the "parents don't know what's going on," she said.

Nearly half of those preteens or "tweens" who responded said they had been in a dating relationship. The survey considers tweens to be between 11 and 14 years of age.

Slightly more than two-thirds of parents surveyed believe they know "a lot" or "everything" about their tween's relationship, but only 51 percent of tweens agree, the survey said.

One-fifth of tweens say their parents know little or nothing about their dating relationships, while only 6 percent of parents concur.

But despite the number of teens and tweens who say they have experienced abuse or say they know someone who has, only about 51 percent say they are aware of the warning signs of hurtful dating relationship.

And slightly more than half -- 54 percent -- said they would know what to do if a friend came to them for help, the survey said.

Teenagers and tweens need educational programs about abuse in relationships, experts say.

Concern about the issue prompted the National Association of Attorneys General to pass a resolution last month encouraging states to work with local school districts to implement teen dating violence education policies.

The states need to send a strong message about this, Rhode Island Attorney General Patrick C. Lynch, president of NAAG, said Tuesday at the news conference.

"The best way to do this is to mandate this, in my estimation," as Rhode Island has, he said. "We're fighting for generations here and generations yet to come to end this scourge."

Last year, the Rhode Island General Assembly adopted the "Lindsay Ann Burke Act," which requires each public school district to provide curriculum and policy on teen dating violence and abuse.

The act is named for a 23-year-old woman who was murdered in 2005 by her former boyfriend, the Rhode Island legislature said. Her boyfriend is now serving a life sentence without parole in the state prison for the murder, the Providence Journal reported.

"Teens have a right to know this ... and parents have a right to know as well," Ann Burke, Lindsay's mother, said at the news conference. "Lindsay had a right to know this information too. It's too late to help Lindsay."

The survey, conducted from January 2-18, 2008, questioned 1,043 tweens, 523 parents of tweens and 626 teens through a customized 15-minute online survey. The respondents were invited by e-mail to participate.

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melissa88 5 pts

It is all about the self-esteem. Not that long ago. When I was in high school, I was menatl abused by almost every one there. But I got through it. I did not have a great home life so i had no one. And it lead me into a 28 yr mans arms. Which I have to kids by and moved to alaska with him. Becuz of that low self-esteem I am stuck here. Every one I talk to on chat rooms or on myspace and stuff like that, I try to moke them feel good about them selves. That is all you have to do. Is tell them that no matter what happens that there is always going to be there to help them out in the end. Try to tell them that the life they are living (if a bad one)is not so great. Explain to thim that if they think better of them selves it wont matter what other think of them. You cant help them if they dont belive in them selves first. You just need to get them to see what you see in them.

rebellious thinker 5 pts

cparker, it all comes down to self-esteem and self-respect. That is what every lesson needs to key in on--having the girls believe in themselves. Believe that they deserve better treatment. Believe that who they are is good enough. Believe that they can dream--and achieve their dreams.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com ( http://www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com/ )

cparker 5 pts

i have found this website because i am a drama practitioner (male) looking for new ways to engage with teenage girls on this and other subjects, such as bullying. im in London - in the UK they have a new subject in the school curriculum called PSHE (Physical, Sexual and Health Education). Not enough curricula time is devoted to this subject, which should be taught at home anyway. One thing i noticed from working with a group of Year 8 girls last month, was that 90% of the class ate sweets for breakfast!!! this is surely causing an imbalance in their physiology and making them behave in irrational and unfocused ways.

But i think the main body of work that needs to be done here is cultural deprogramming. from such a young age girls are bombarded with unhealthy personal targets and expectations from society.. i have used many forum and regular drama techniques to open up this subject with teenage students, but am always looking for new and more engaging ways of holding a classroom of girls' attention for the short 50 minute period i get once per month to do this.  reading the comments above, and hearing any other personal experiences is very helpful for me, and hopefully can be helpful for those who benefit from my practice.

rebellious thinker 5 pts

Who cares about eye rolling--that's a face saving gesture--as long as someone is paying attention.

There's so much competition for girls' attention. There's the nurture in the house, and then the "nurture" from friends, and tv, and school, and society.

I have two daughters (12 and 17), and I have surely tried to teach them to be strong women and to speak up for themselves. But you know what? My younger daughter has a friend who other mothers don't let their daughters hang out with her (I almost forgot myself and said "play," but they are so over that). Anyway. I asked her one day why the moms treat her like that and she said that don't like that she is so blunt and speaks her mind. This is a 12-year-old girl being ostracized by parents because of her frankness. She is at my house often, so I know that there are not disrespectful things coming out of her. Just makes you pause and wonder what is being taught is other homes.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com ( http://www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com/ )

GlindaofOz 5 pts

What is going on with our young girls today? So many of them suffer from severely low self-esteem. How has this happened? I quake in thinking about what the future holds for these young women.

Who do we fault? I'm not a parent so I always hate to place the blame there but I have to wonder. I have a teenaged cousin and my aunt and uncle did everything to help her feel good about herself and all of their work on trying to instill self-esteem in their daughter has been washed away. So I wonder if the influence of peers and media is stronger than anything from parents.

I'd like to believe that adding self-esteem workshops and spotting abusive relationship signs to curriculum at school would help but i can't help but believe that it would induce eye-rolls from teens.  

Self-discovery through fashion!

www.wisdomofglinda.com ( http://www.wisdomofglinda.com )

askglinda.blogspot.com

glindaofoz.blogspot.com

rebellious thinker 5 pts

The high school where I teach had a program like that this past year. The students watched a very good film about abuse, there was a short intro to the film, a brief question and answer period at the end, and that was it. Maybe it was enough for someone to realize what was happening to her, maybe it was enough for someone to see what he was doing, but this should surely be a bigger part of the curriculum. What can be more important than to know how to treat and respect each other?  

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com ( http://www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com/ )