They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Abstinence-only programs don't work. And by their very nature do not prevent pregnancy and STIs while they are not working.

Here's my very condensed view (because I could rant about this for a very, very long time...). I think that the moral discussions about teens and sex should take place in the home. I think that schools should teach the fact-based health and science behind sex. No student should leave high school without knowing about pregnancy, STIs and how to prevent them, as well as just a good general knowledge of sexual health. I'm not saying that schools should be telling kids to have sex but I think they should tell kids what can happen if they do have sex and how some of those things might be prevented.

Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.

..I have a vested interest in the subject. I think abstinence education should be a facet of sex ed, not the whole crux of it. I now have a teenaged son and two young daughters and you bet your booty that they will be educated not only on why they should wait, but how to be safe if they don't, because while you always hope that your children will choose to wait, preparing them for the reality IS your responsibility as a parent.

Not that it is exactly the same issue, but this brings to mind the controversy over Gardasil. You don't just tell your one year old to stay away from the stairs and hope for the best......you take precautions to protect them-even from themselves. Why do our teens deserve any less?

The reason why responsible education programs work so much better than abstience-only programs is because our kids are actually pretty damn smart - when we give them the chance to be. If you give these kids the information, facts and resources to make informed, intelligent decisions, they'll do so.

And, yes, that is going to include things like waiting longer to have sex and being more responsible about it when they do.

Much like the "just say no to drugs" programs, if all you do is expect them to parrot the information back to you, that's not going to help them. Escpecially with teens who, by nature, question everything. If you don't have the balls to give them real information about what might happen if they make the choice to have sex, how to be as safe as possible, and how to decide when it's time, then they're just going to take your "just say no" speech and shove it. They're going to take it as just another controlling, adult crock of you-know-what and decide that they know better than you do and so they're going to do what they want.

Fortunately, I was going through school before all this abstinence-only nonssense, so I got "real" information in my sex-ed programs. However, my mom took an active role in preparing me for the eventuality of having sex. She made sure I had tons of information about "safe sex", and what works and what doesn't, and what the consequences could be if you didn't use it. She also quized me randomly which kept life at home *exciting*.

I also want to point out that one of the things we were taught about in our sex ed programs, was how to make choices about whether or not to have sex. One of the things we were taught was that we should decide, before we are in the situation, what we want to do and when we want to do it, based on our beliefs and moral values. That way, in the "heat of the moment", it would be easier to stand by whatever decision it was, because it had already been made.

See? Information not only on how to stay safe, but how to make choices.

Verbose means I ramble

I am always amazed at how adults forget what it was like to be14, 15, 16, 17, 18 years old. The reality is that young people have sex. Now you can get on a moral high horse if you want too...go ahead take a ride up that high. But the reality is, kids are having sex. And they are having lots of sex---unprotected and without concern about their souls. So if you want to preach abstinance then don't be bent out of shape when AIDS and teen pregnancy is on the rise. We say we don't wan't kids having sex, but everything in our culture from the selling of cars to jeans is about kids having sex. Adults have to get honest about the mixed messages. We have to change the messages about kids having sex. I am the mother of 4 and I do not want them having sex before hell freezes over, and that's where the problem lies. Me as a parent not seeing my kids on the cusp of sexual exploration is more about my ignorance than it is about them. Now my kids are little--but I have neices and nephews who are that target age. We need to say and believe we want kids to be safe and act accordingly.

Love,
Babz
www.lovebabz.blogspot.com

What interests me is that many states realize how ridiculously bad abstinence-only "education" programs are, and as Bush increases (and Congress pathetically rubber stamps) spending on this failure, many states are quietly refusing the money. New York state, where I live, is just the latest to turn away the federal funds because they want to teach comprehensive sex ed that actually reduces teen pregnancy and incidents of STIs. Some may think that it is stupid to refuse any money, but turning down a small amount of funding for bad sex ed programs actually saves states enormous amounts of money in the long run. Would a state rather pay for quality sex ed or for the consequences of teen pregnancy and STIs? Easy decision, although it is sad that it has to be made.

What kills me about the abstinence education movement is that they say things like, "We don't teach kids how to use drugs safely because that would encourage drug use, so why should we condone sex by teaching them about it?" Forget the specious assumption in the statement that the second kids learn about sex, they'll run off and have it. The real point is that not all people use drugs, but pretty much everyone will have some type of sex at some point in their lives. Teaching kids to be smart about sex prepares them for living healthy lives, today and tomorrow. Who wouldn't want that?

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants