In this week’s Ten Money Questions, we speak with Barbara Stanny, an accomplished motivational speaker, author, new blogger and expert on women’s financial issues. Barbara’s new book, Overcoming Underearning, offers compelling stories about women who increased their income, freed up time, enhanced relationships and even lost weight by overcoming underearning. Money works magic! Below, Barbara offers some advice and gets personal about all things financial.

1. How is underearning self-imposed? What can women do to live up to their full potential and earn what they deserve?
If you look at the 10 traits of an underearner—for example, they talk as if they’re trapped; they give away their power; they are self-saboteurs, codependent, vague about money and often anti-wealth—you can see every single trait is a result of a choice we made.

Above all, women must be willing to be uncomfortable, to do what they’re scared to do. The number one requirement to go to the next level in your life is the willingness to do what you think you can’t do. And a big part of that is valuing yourself.

2. What is your most significant memory about money?
I’m not sure it’s my most significant memory, but it sure was my scariest –getting the tax bills for over $1million from back taxes my ex-husband didn’t pay, illegal deal he got is in. I didn’t have the money. My ex had left the country. And my father wouldn’t help me out. That was the moment I knew I had to get smart, no one was going to do it for me!!

3. What is your worst habit around finances?
I feel very good about my money habits. But I don’t look at my business financials, especially my profit/loss statements, nearly enough. I have someone taking care of those…still, I know I should be looking at them at least every quarter, if not every month.

4. In your book you say that women need to respect and appreciate money. I’ve notice that many women understand the concept of saving, but many shy away from investing. Why is that?
Because it seems so overwhelming! And we women are so damn busy. That’s how I felt…until I realized that
- it doesn’t take a lot of time to learn about investing
- it’s much simpler than it seems
- it’s a matter of taking small steps, doing a little something every day, like reading the business section of the newspaper, perusing financial sites, watching PBS nightly business report, taking classes, talking to others about money.

5. How did all three of your daughters become good with money? Isn’t there always one deadbeat in the mix?
All 3 of my daughters saw what I went through when I ignored my money and they watched what happened when I took charge, how it totally changed me. I role modeled for them the importance of being financially responsible and by my actions, I showed them that it’s not only possible, but very powerful, to be in control of your money. All 3 are very smart…none are in debt…and my married daughter manages the household finances.

6. What did your father teach you about money?
My father taught me the importance of being frugal, saving a lot and investing wisely. He also inspired me to give to others…but never at the expense of my own financial security.

7. Women entrepreneurs are notorious for not charging what they are worth. How can we overcome this tendency?
By valuing ourselves…telling ourselves that what we do is worth a lot to others. That’s what I had to do to make six figures. I had to raise my fees, bargain harder, even though I was scared to death to do it. Not everyone agreed to pay my higher fee, but enough did that my income went up significantly…without having to work any harder!

8. Explain the Four Rules of Money. Why does the order matter?
1. Spend less than you earn. Stop debting until you have it all paid off.
2. Save more by always paying yourself first, even if it’s just $5 a month
3. Invest wisely…consult a financial planner or advisor
4. Give generously to causes you feel passionate about.

However, we women have step 4 down pat. We love to give. But giving without following the first 3 steps is an act of self sabotage. Not only do we jeopardize our future security but we diminish the impact we can make if we had more money

9. Should married women keep their money separate from their husbands?
Yes! Every single woman should have an account in her own name. That doesn’t mean she can’t have a joint account too.

10. Why do we need to have a “relationship” with money?
Money, like everything else, won’t go, and definitely won’t stay where it’s not wanted, appreciated, or respected. If we want our money to last, we need to treat it like anything else we want to keep around for the long haul (be it a treasured friend or an expensive antique)… we need to respect and appreciate money by taking care of it. You take care of it by following the 4 rules.

More about Barbara Stanny
Barbara Stanny is a woman on a mission. That mission is to motivate women to become financially empowered. Barbara grew up relying on her father (the ‘R’ of H&R Block), then her husband, to manage her money. But a devastating financial crisis became a personal wake-up call. Her journey to financial independence is inspiring.

Barbara’s background in business, her Master’s Degree in psychology, her extensive research and her poignant experience with money have given her a unique perspective on women’s financial issues. She is an accomplished motivational speaker, author, and former career consultant who empowers women (and men) to live up to their financial and personal potential.

Her new book is Overcoming Underearning.

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Read other interviews in Nina’s Ten Money Questions series at Queercents.