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In this week’s Ten Money Questions, we speak with Rita Arens. Rita is a Contributing Editor at BlogHer for Mommy & Family and maintains a personal blog at Surrender, Dorothy. Below, she gets candid about motherhood, marriage, working, writing and how this all relates to money. Enjoy!
1. I understand that you and your husband bought a house in foreclosure. How did you find it? Did the previous owners have a horror story that substantiates the subprime debacle?
My husband is a financial representative, and our neighbor across the street was one of my husband’s clients and told my husband about the house before it had a “for sale” sign in the yard. He knew we were wanting to buy a bigger house in the area and were on a tight budget.
The neighbors painted it as a sad tale of divorce. I think the family split up and the husband sort of abandoned the house. It sat empty for eight months before it officially went into foreclosure and the bank put it up for sale. It was unfortunate, but if it had sat empty much longer, it would’ve started falling into even worse disrepair. As it was, we had to replace some shingles and do some work to keep it from becoming unstable.
The neighbors were very happy someone was living in it again. Its got great bones and the price was right for a beautiful, established neighborhood in such a good school district. School districts are an issue in Kansas City, Missouri, which is where we lived before.
2. What is your most significant memory about money?
I have a freaky relationship with money. I’m very anxious about it. My family moved back to my father’s hometown in Iowa to farm when I was first born. We went through the eighties farm crisis, and my father had to work as a mechanical engineer his whole life instead. I remember being very afraid he would be laid off, because I thought that meant we would immediately be desolate. My mother was a stay-at-home mom. Money was tight until about fourth grade, but I never forgot what it was like to be that worried.
3. What is your worst habit around finances?
Driving myself and my husband crazy worrying about them. I’m very conservative, and it drives me nuts when we can’t pay off credit cards every month. We’re far from being able to do that after the big move. We thought we would be able to get more for our old house, but this is the worst housing market in like six years – we made very little on the sale after six years in the house. It was frustrating and that set me back a little emotionally.
4. As a working mother of a young child, how important is affordable child care? What about health care?
We spend between $800-$1000 a month on childcare, which for Kansas City is a lot. We choose our current childcare over cheaper alternatives because we want the preschool setting my daughter is in. Someone once told me that finding reliable childcare is the hardest part of parenting and I totally agree with that. It makes me sick that our capitalistic society does not subsidize childcare for the working parents of America. We are making the workforce too hard to enter for those close to the poverty line.
I also believe we should provide universal healthcare. Too many people are unnecessarily suffering and dying because they don’t have access to good healthcare. I have health insurance through my job that I think is good, but then again, I don’t have a terminal disease, so I don’t really know how good it is yet. Two things I will give up anything else for are health insurance and quality childcare, though. Next to housing and food, these are most important to me.
5. Did you ever wonder if motherhood might curb your professional opportunities? How has a “dependent” altered your life?
I have chosen to accept lesser positions than I am capable of in order to have adequate time for my daughter. I don’t think the company made this decision for me. I made it for myself.
I would’ve climbed higher professionally by now if I didn’t have my daughter. I don’t care. I have chosen to focus my ambition in forums I can attend to at night after she is in bed, such as blogging and other writing projects. It’s nice to get
