Texting vs. Talking: What’s Your Stance?

i've become more of a texter lately. Dh and i have a shared minutes plan and if we call each other we go over our minutes. So we text.

Also, with 4 year-old triplets in tow, I usually can't give full attention to phone conversations and the person on the other end gets to hear some variation of "hey, stop that!" and then I forget what I needed to remember as soon as I hang up. With texting, I have a written record of what was said and what I need to do.

Texting inevitably takes me much longer than it would to call for this exact reason.

First off, I text in full, punctuated sentences, which essentially defeats the "quick and convenient" aspect of texting.
Then, I obsessively read over and re-read over the texts before I sent them to make sure T9 word didn't decide to auto-correct a word for me (i.e. trying to ask if i need to bring "coal" and then having my phone change the word to "anal").

So, my comment about sending my friend an unnecessarily long text taking less time than the two second phone call it would have required was obviously complete sarcasm.

Now, I’m a 20-something and I loathe texting. I much rather talk on the phone. It’s faster; no matter how fast you think you push buttons, it’s faster to select a number from my stored numbers. It’s two buttons and some scrolling. It takes longer to type a message then to call someone. Also, there is the frustration of not knowing how to spell a word. Which just happens sometimes. I much rather speak on the phone. But I agree that email trumps all. I much rather compose an email than anything else.

I definitely agree on the idea of texting being a bit "intrusive". I'll own up to occasionally responding to a text mid-conversation with someone, because it is a lot easier to read a quick message mid-convo as opposed to answering a phone call.

As far as cell phone etiquette, I try my best to follow the "crossword puzzle" rule. Would I break out the daily crossword while out to lunch with someone? Probably not, so maybe I shouldn't respond to the text my friend just sent me about the funny thing her dog did.

--deleted double post, sorry--

I completely prefer to text or e-mail. That way people can read it when they have time. They can take all the time they need to consult a date book, a husband, etc. and I don't have to be on hold while they do it.

Alissa A. Enders

www.havestrollerwilltravel.com ( http://www.havestrollerwilltravel.com )

It's funny because I think I'm riding one of the generational lines. I think there are several.

My parents (pushing 70) live in one tech world, where my father receives my texts on his iphone and never replies (not sure he knows he can type his reply into the little bubble...) I have to teach him. Then I expect extremely brief and businesslike text only. My mother's eyesight isn't great, but I'm trying to talk my dad into getting her a new iPhone (so we can videochat w/the grandkids and I can keep a better eye on them when they're away for the winter.)

My kids (6 & 8) are too young for their own phones, but they get the concept of texting.

My peer group (say we're around 40, just for the sake of argument...) seems to be really split. I actually have to ask many of my "mommy friends" if they text before I can send them texts. And then there are many like me, iPhone users, who have the minimum texting plan (200/month.) I can't be doing a lot of "lol" and "see ya" on my texting plan, instead I use it as a quick and more immediate way of reaching someone via text than email is. With txt, I know it'll get to my girlfriend's phone even if she's sitting at starbucks or in line at the grocery or waiting for gymnastics class to end. So I can text her to ask her to pick up my kid/if she can bring the extra pair of cleats to softball tonight/if she wants me to buy her a starbucks. Important stuff.

But there are other mommy friends who just don't know if or how texting works on their phones. Oddly enough, these are usually the blackberry users - they use their email as a text substitute, I think, since they're comfortable with shooting off a message to someone, they just haven't adopted the immediacy of the text.

But then there's also those who think that texting is intrusive. I think they don't quite get it, because if you're willing to have a texting plan, you're saying you're okay with being interrupted in that way. And sensible people (sigh, not enough, sadly) don't allow themselves to be interrupted constantly by their texts or can turn off notifications so they can drive undisturbed. I find it harder to carry on a conversation with most blackberry users than heavy texters, because at least the texters know not to get involved in a text conversation with someone when they are in a real conversation with someone! Blackberry users are like dogs with ADD. "Ding, must see what email that is? Ooh, 10% off JCrew! - that was totally worth interrupting our conversation about how your mother has developed multiple sclerosis!"

Thanks for posting this, gave me lots of fun things to think about!

I write on Suburban (In)sanity ( http://beckersmith.typepad.com/my_weblog/ ). I have two kids, two cats, a dog, a husband and a minivan. I live in the suburbs now and try to stay sane. Some days, I succeed.

As a teenager, I was a talker. I would spend HOURS on the telephone. Now as an adult, I maybe make 1 'talking' phone call a week, but I am not a texter though many of my friends are. Most of my friends and I keep up via email, as we are all on different social networks and two of us HATE Facebook & refuse to use it.

I don't mind texting if it is information incoming, but I rarely text back. If it is 'What's up', I don't reply. If the someone texts me a question or situation that will take more than one line to reply to, I will call them back not text.

The only time I have enjoyed texting is when at a loud music gig and the band sucks, so you and your buddies can gossip via text without the band hearing & heckling you.

I live in LA and thus drive everywhere, so if I am late, I call not text.

Black Phoebe :: Ms. Jen ( http://www.blackphoebe.com/msjen )

When the Queenager texts me at 11pm (curfew) to say she's going to find something to eat, I text back and say "Call me right now". Usually works.

I have never sent a text message and we actually have texting turned off on my phone. Which is strange because I don't love talking on the phone. I have no idea what my block is with texting.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).