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Sparkle (1)
The thank-you note -- is it an artifact or can it find its place in the contemporary universe? Back "in the day" thank-you notes were sent fairly often after a gift was given. Even if it felt like a chore to the sender to find a way to write an appropriate thank-you, it could feel lovely for the recipient to know that their gift was appreciated, and that the giftee had taken the time to write a note. It never had to be a letter -- just a note would suffice.
It strikes me that a thank-you note is a spiritual act -- it says "I am not living as though I was owed this gift. I appreciate that you went to an effort for my sake."
Writing thank-yous also puts us in the position of having an extended moment of gratitude. OK, the Mom who bought your kid a big plastic helicopter may not have spent hours looking for just the right gift. But she did do something, and she spent something. It took time, buying, wrapping, giving. And Jimmy or Sally can learn much from you as you show them how to write a thank-you to that Mommy's child.
Susan at Momlife Today when asked why children should be taught to write thank you notes says:
It is a character trait. Thank you notes teach us to honor and appreciate others. They serve to keep us from taking others for granted. They help to protect our kids from an ever encroaching sense of entitlement...Yes your kids will complain. That’s their job! But do it anyway. You are training them in thoughtfulness and respect-2 crucial character traits they will need for life.
Of course thank-yous are not all hand-written today. The burgeoning social media provides any number of options and any number of e-cards that can be personalized. I even subscribe to a few of them, my favorite these days being RubberChicken.com.
But there are many more to which one may subscribe -- Flavia.com which has a nice, soft, more serious look, and the all-purpose cards at JacquiLawson.com, or the site for dog and/or cat lovers, Sloppy Kiss Cards. But there are also a plethora of free cards that can be emailed -- at Hallmark.com,for example.
The medium may not be as important as the message when it comes to thanks, but as I read blog after blog about sending thank-you cards, here is what I found out:
1. Even though so much has changed in the world of communications, the hand written thank-you still has its fans.
Dumbwit Telher has a very intelligent thing to say about her feelings regarding thank-you notes:
My real sadness lies in the declining health, if not demise, of said thank you note. The good old-fashioned, pen to paper, cursive letters with their loops and flow; f’s and g’s from you to me and so on. A thank you is a written representation of a person taking time out of their day to put thoughts onto paper expressing their gratitude. It is knowing that the composer had to slow-down long enough to think about your generosity, large or small, and articulate appreciation.
Marie in her blog, Improving on the Silence discusses a friend who writes frequent lovely thank-you notes and how she was inspired by her to start writing them herself. She says, by way of encouragement to her readership:
It doesn’t have to be long or fancy or effusive...it just needs to come from your heart. Oh, and it needs to be written–on paper–with a pen, or a crayon or a marker–but written, put in an envelope, addressed and delivered. Whether you choose to mail it, deliver it by courier or send it via carrier pigeon, it matters not. E-mail, fax or text message just doesn’t cut it for this. It really needs to be tangible, put your hands on it, notepaper and pen to be a real thank-you note.
Miss Communications (gotta love that handle) at her blog of the same name, gives a full run through of the etiquette of the thank you note and concludes:
In the long run, the issue of whether to hand-write or type a thank you note is much less important than the questions of whether to send them, and when. And the answers are please do, and
