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How is it, that phrases like "that's so gay," or "don't be so gay" are still thriving in teen vernacular? Why is it socially acceptable to say such things? How can so many people defend the usage of such words as harmless? Why don't more people find it offensive? And where are these kids' parents?
Now I'll admit, I didn't used to think "that's so gay" was that big of a deal. It seemed innocuous enough, nothing to get bent out of shape about. Until, that is, I heard my teenage niece use it. Then it didn't really feel so harmless anymore. It really shocked me actually. Both that she said it, and how I reacted to it. Actually what she did was call someone gay, as an insult. But why should I have expected her to be any different from any other teen? They don't see anything wrong it. And apparently, no one is telling them otherwise.
The argument is that "that's so gay," and the likes, just mean lame or stupid. Not homosexual. As in, "I can't believe your parents won't let you go to the party. That's so gay." Clearly, the meaning is that the parents are lame, not that they are actually a same-sex couple. The problem is, these phrases are also used to point out gay stereotypes as insults. As in, "I can't believe he wore a pink shirt. Dude that's so gay." Same phrase. Different meaning. Both intended to have a negative connotation.
The problem is, how and where, does the mind draw the line between what's a "harmless" use of a phrase with the word gay, and what's not? If it's okay to say "that's so gay" in response to guy wearing a pink shirt, then isn't also okay to say "that's so faggy?" And why stop there? Why not just call someone gay? Meaning homosexual, used an insult. Why does it have power as an insult? And when it's okay to call people gay as an insult, then where does it end? A few weeks ago there was a twitter tending topic #uknowhowiknowuregay. Do you really think that was all good natured?
I've come to the conclusion that "harmless" phrases like "that's so gay," are not harmless. In fact, they are what helps fuel the fire for homophobia to continue to exist, and remain socially acceptable in our culture. I don't know how to solve the problem other than to let the people who I know, know it's not cool to say things like "that's so gay." The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network(GLSEN) has put together the Think B4 You Speak campaign. Currently, they have three posters:
That's so "jock who can complete a pass but not a sentence."
That's so "cheerleader who like can't like say smart stuff."
That's so "gamer guy who has more videogames than friends."
and 3 television ads which can be seen at ThinkB4YouSpeak.com. I love Wanda Sykes, but the commercial with the 2 cashiers is my favorite.
One thing I found interesting, is that much of the blog response to the Think B4 You Speak campaign, came from the gaming world. More specifically, the on-line gaming world. From what I gather, the name calling with homosexual reference can get pretty explicit and highly offensive.
Will the ads work? Eh? They probably won't have too much impact on he kids. I think the audience we need to reach are the adults who are letting this kind of talk go on around them; parents, teachers, coaches...We need to step up and say something to these kids to let them know that it's not OK. Am I wrong?
See what others have blogged about this:
Twitter Trending Topic #uknowhowiknowuregay Provides Unreliable Tips for Identifying Homosexuals, by Riese and Tinkerbell at Autostraddle
Homophobic Trends and Twitter Wars, by Firebolt at The Freezing Flames
Think before you speak, by Z at It's the Thought that Counts
That's So Gay, by Rebecca at The Thang Blog
'Think B4 You Speak' Gets Gamers Arguing, by Tracy V Wilson at How Stuff Works
Zoe is a BlogHer Contributing Editor (Life-GLBT). She also blogs her life most ordinary at gaymo.
