There’s Nothing Natural About Motherhood

Self-preservation. It’s the law of nature. All life strives to preserve itself – to do what is in its own best interest, all life that is, except for mothers. Motherhood sucks. You’re the last to eat, if you get to eat at all. You’re thoroughly sleep-deprived. You’ve sacrificed your body, which now feels like a rotting peach and looks like a melted candle. You no longer have a career and if you attempt to get one, the guilt of abandoning your child is rubbed in your face. You are someone’s mom, someone’s wife and no one else. Welcome to life as a mother.

Need a break from the thankless monotony and isolation of being a stay-at-home mom? Too bad. You’re officially the least important person in the house. They say that moms should make ‘me’ time to preserve their sanity. Well, mommy magazines, why don’t you come over and watch the baby so that I can have some ‘me’ time? Everyone else has stuff to do, stuff that’s more important than giving mom a break. Everyone else in the house is in self-preservation mode.

Feeling sexy yet? Good, because your man still expects some lovin’. He tells you how sexy your body is even after having the baby. Yeah right. There are two possible reasons for this – he is truly so desperate for sex that he is in a state of delirium in which he believes your post-baby body is hot or he’s lying through his teeth in a pre-meditated attempt to ‘get some.’ I’ve never seen a Stretch Marks & Sagging Breasts magazine on any men’s magazine rack.

Anyway, so motherhood sucks, but sometimes, it sucks a little less. As I look down at my baby through the tears that have welled up in my eyes from exhaustion, frustration and isolation, he smiles. I smile back, tears rolling down my face. He likes lying in my arms. He quiets down in my arms. Maybe it’s because he knows that even though everyone else in the world will abandon him when they need a break, to do what’s best for themselves – I won’t. I won’t do what’s best for me. I won’t preserve myself. I’ll do what’s best for him. I’ll preserve him. I won’t eat until he’s fed, I won’t bathe until he’s had a bath. I won’t sleep if he’s awake. I’ll be the first to run to him when he cries. When everyone else has had it with him, they’ll hand him to me, and I’ll take him.

Why would a person do that to one’s self? Why subject yourself to such misery? I don’t know. It’s just not natural. It contradicts nature. There’s nothing natural about motherhood.

Mehwish Khan is an agency represented Chicago hair and makeup artist with a commercial, beauty, and fashion portfolio, specializing in Southeast Asian, Indian, and Pakistani makeup.

She is the founder of The Untrendy Girl blog. From how-to beauty tips and makeup before and afters to inspirational stories of survival and achievement, The Untrendy Girl provides the encouragement you need to become a happier, healthier, and more confident woman.


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