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Eden M. Kennedy is the proud author of the blogs yogabeans!, where her son’s plastic action figures demonstrate the intricacies of ashtanga yoga, and...
 
 
 
 

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"The Freebie" and Its Bizarre Self-Help-for-Swingers Web Site

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Don't tell the pope, but today -- Friday, September 17 -- is (unofficially) National Freebie Day. The producers of the new film The Freebie -- about a long-married couple who decide to give each other a free pass so that they can each have a fling with someone else -- would like to give married folk everywhere permission to tuck a condom in their pocket and go hit the bars in search of whatever it is they don't have at home.

What we can glean from the film's trailer is that an otherwise happily married couple, played by Katie Aselton (who also wrote and directed the film) and Dax Shepard, dance shyly around the concept of sanctioned infidelity, kind of thinking that it's a stupid idea but also hoping that a couple of one-night stands will shake them out of their sexual doldrums and allow them be grateful for what they already have. The fear, of course, is that sleeping with other people will be the end of their friendship and their marriage. Tension!

The film opens in New York today (National Freebie Day), and in general release October 1; since I live in Southern California, I haven't seen the film, but what I have seen quite a lot of is cheerfully disturbing web site that's been launched in support of the film.

The goal of Untie-TheKnot.com seems to be to create some fun, kooky buzz around the concept of open marriage. If the site were actually finished, the "Who to Do?" and "Dos and Don'ts" pages might jauntily help you decide who to cheat with and how, though the "It's Time to Start Planning" link helpfully opens up to the Craigslist "Casual Encounters" listing for Manhattan. Fortunately, someone managed to post "five must-have items for your special night" (which include concocting a sexy backstory to impress your potential hook-up, and a decent lie to reassure your spouse afterward that "it wasn't all that great").

The Freebie
Image courtesy Phase 4 Films

The site also features some terrible Penthouse Forum-type one-night stand stories, and an advice column by two white-bread, can-do columnists named "Bill and Susie." Bill and Susie are about as subtle as a firehose, and seem blissfully assured that swinging, flinging, and serial polyamory are easy as pie if you drink enough tequila.

If you really want the security and comfort of a long-term relationship combined with the thrill of shagging that handsome stranger who only comes to town twice a year for business, you might be better off reading polyamory.org or unmarried.org, sites run by people who actually work to maintain healthy open relationships that may or may not include children, and who advise you to do the exact opposite of the Johnny-come-latelys over at Untie-TheKnot.

The REAL rules for so-called "freebies" read more like what the movie is trying to show: Tell the truth. Know yourself. Accept responsibility for your actions. Be strong, be loving, be open, etc.

Ironically, these turn out to be good rules for monogomous relationships as well. Hey! No wonder Bill and Susie couldn't hack it with each other -- they have the combined emotional equilibrium of an sleep-deprived toddler whose parents have a giant collection of porn in the basement.

What do you think of the campaign -- does this web site do anything to promote the movie?

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Allen Moreno 5 pts

There may be something to it.. Getting some strange as it were is sex you can't get with your partner. . Maybe they are seeking the thrill of cheating, the no strings attached sex. Maybe they desire the raw, powerful sex that happens between two people who are both there for the same thing: a one night stand and total sexual satisfaction. Naughty lovers who know what they want and they want it so badly they are willing to break all the rules to get it. Bold, daring lovers who will tell you what they want. An intimate encounter they can’t find at home. Perhaps it’s the sexual thrill that only comes from cheating, from being with a married man or a married woman that’s not yours.

Wifeish 5 pts

This sounds like a pretty terrible concept to me, but what do I know? I'm still madly in love with mi esposo. What about just like dressing up in different outfits or whatever...get creative people, meet your spouse in a cheap motel room donning a fake french accent. Whatever you gotta do to spice it up, with your partner.

Elana Paige 5 pts

Hmm... I can see how this would be really fun territory to cover in the fictional world, much more difficult to navigate off the screen or page. It's fun to pretend, though. On my free site, PassionsPath.com, I invite readers to make fun, sexy decisions for my characters through playing with my choose-your-own-path romance novels. I hope that at PassionsPath.com, readers can have their monogamy and enjoy their polyamorism, too!