Is there a right time to expose your past?

But you don't normally just say to someone oh if you've been divorced before I can't pursue things with you..just to let you know. It is kind of one of those things that you deal with as it comes up.

As for a potential future with this guy no I am not going to continue to see him. The divorce things was one of the things that set it off because I have been down that path before, my ex bf whom I dated for almost two years was a divorcee and that was something that was hard to deal with especially because him and his ex wife were best friends so it was hard for me to deal with. But there were other reasons too that I decided to nip a future with this guy. It happens!

Maybe you needed to be equally upfront about what would be a deal breaker for you.

I am curious, are you going to carry on seeing this man? I'm just being nosy.  I don't have your backround, but I would think it's a shame to toss a potentially wonderful friendship on the basis of a comment from your friend.

You are also right, but it is hard once you've been burned to not let that affect your other relationships, which really is unfortunate because the person who burned you the first time then ends up winning.

Yes, a lot of people are divorced and it is such a shame that there is such a negative stigma attached to divorcees but in my situation it is kind of a deal breaker. Not because I choose to write them off but I come from a very strict Catholic upbringing and for some insane reason the way the Church (and my parents) think is very outdated. 

Wow the girl at the fundraiser..intense. And you are right, there is a time and place for everything, I think the way in which I found out is what made the situation unfortunate. Although you said who wants to talk about exes, as painful of a topic as that is, I do think it is important. Past relationship say a lot about a person and we learn so much from our own past relationships.

But yes you are right bringing up a divorce in the first date is a little intense and he probably was gauging to see if any chemistry even existed before he got down to the nitty gritty of things. 

There's a big difference between one and half dates and three months. Try not to let your earlier bad experience with the two-kids guy to influence your feelings this time around. A divorce is a private matter and it's really not the business of a virtual stranger. Kids, that's another story entirely because, well, they are a permanent fixture in his life (or they should be at least) and it matters if his potential partner wants to date someone with kids. But if he's kidless...he should tell you when he thinks it matters.

It kind of sucks that your friend dropped the bomb and made it seem like some big, awful secret. Lots of people are divorced. Unless he was some awful cheater or something, it shouldn't turn you off just yet.

Just my two cents.

Dating Trooper
http://www.datingiswarfare.com

I was at a fundraising dinner once, and at the bar a girl said 'hi, my name's jane.  I tried to commit suicide last year'.  or words to that affect.

TMI?

 I think I'd be really worried about a guy who brought up his divorce in the first private conversation we had.  Because it pretty much forces a conversation about exes, and who wants to go there?

I think it's pretty awful that you found out in the way you did, it would have been a shock.  But I really don't think it's first or second date material - surely that time is about figuring out what chemistry there is between the two of you?