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It seems odd to me now that there ever was a time in my life when I didn't have much knowledge about birth or birth care providers, but when I became pregnant with my first child that's exactly where I was at. I knew that I wanted to try for a natural birth, but I didn't know much more beyond that. And so I found myself an obstetrician since that was what "everybody" I knew did. I didn't have any local mommy friends at the time to offer up their recommendations, so I made my decision on an OB based on the experience a coworker and his wife had. He told me that their OB had let him catch the baby, and since that was something my husband Jody and I had talked about wanting to do and seemed pretty open-minded to me, I figured we would give her a try.
While I don't recall interviewing this obstetrician per se, she seemed nice enough - though in retrospect her bedside manner was seriously lacking - and she seemed OK with our plans to have a Hypnobirth. In fact, with a few minor exceptions, she agreed to all of our desires on our birth plan and we figured she'd be a good fit for us. After all, she was saying all the right things, so we had no reason to doubt her. Little did I know that when it came time for me to give birth, all bets would be off.
When my time to give birth arrived, my OB's true colors came shining through and, when reflecting on the experience several months afterward, I felt violated, disrespected, upset, duped and resentful. Yes, I had given birth to a healthy baby which is ultimately what every woman hopes for, but I believe the process and birth experience matters too and mine was seriously lacking. I was left wondering, could there have been another way? A better way?
Back up a few months to the Hypnobirthing childbirth preparation classes my husband and I attended, where I learned of a couple expectant mothers who had plans to have a midwife at their birth rather than an OB. At the time I didn't know much about midwives - who they were, what they did - and was happy enough with my OB, so I didn't bother finding out more information. For example, I had no idea that there was a difference between the type of care a midwife provides and that of an OB. I didn't know what kind of training or schooling a midwife might have. I didn't know that there were different types of midwives. I didn't know if midwives attended births in hospitals and/or birthing centers or just at home. I really didn't have a clue and I have a feeling that I was certainly not alone in that regard.
Here in the United States, giving birth in a hospital with a doctor is the norm. Yet in the majority of cases a midwife-attended birth in a birthing center or at home is just as safe. However, many women have never heard of midwives or what they have heard is often full of misconceptions.
It wasn't until I had given birth to my daughter, officially joined the "mommy club," and made some mommy friends of my own that I began to hear more and more about midwives and learn about the role that they play in helping women prenatally, during birth and postnatal.
I was fortunate in that one of my best friends ended up deciding on a midwife-attended home birth for her second child. She had such a wonderful experience that when I was pregnant with my second child, I decided to leave my new OB (even though she was a far cry better than my previous one) and have a midwife-attended home birth as well.
Thankfully, the word is slowly getting out and more people are learning about the value and importance of midwives thanks to Ricki Lake's documentary "The Business of Being Born," which I highly recommend all women and their partners see. It's available on Netflix.
Here's a bit more about midwives to help clear up any misconceptions.
What is the role of a midwife?
According to Midwives Alliance of North America, "Midwives are trained to provide comprehensive prenatal care and education, guide labor and birth, address complications, and care for newborns." You can read about the different variations of midwives at MANA.
Why choose a midwife?
"Throughout most of the world, and most
