There's No Such Thing As Laziness

I’ve wanted for a while to start writing about a different abuse-related myth every Monday. Because they start with the same letter, of course! And there are so many different common, harmful ideas that come from abuse.

Like laziness.

Elly works her ass off all day and, eight panels later, rejoices in having earned the right to take a freaking BATH.

Lazy is one of those words that can mean a lot of different things depending on its connotation. It’s a little like “sinful.” I always see ads for ice cream or chocolate or yogurt that babble mindlessly about how sinful it is (to eat something that tastes good, or has any fat content) and how we no longer need to feel guilty
about it if we eat their brand. Often, people use “lazy” the same way:
to mean “I feel kind of guilty about doing something that feels good.”
“I feel kind of guilty about enjoying myself.” “I feel kind of guilty
about doing something that’s just for me.” It’s that Puritan idea that
pleasure is a sin.

It all comes back to shame. Specifically, to the
message abuse carries that we’re not good enough, not worthy or
deserving of basic pleasures like safety. (And see there, how pleasures
are also needs?) Guilt is shame. It’s the feeling we get from
subconsciously (or, sometimes, consciously) telling ourselves that what
we are doing is wrong. That it’s Not Okay. When, really, it’s the abuse
that was Not Okay all along. Abuse is really good at teaching
upside-down messages like that.

Laziness. Elly in this For Better Or For Worse strip confuses relaxation and peace
with being “lazy.” She thinks she has to “earn” those things by working
herself to the bone. Just to take a bubble bath! I mean, that’s basic self-care. What does she do if she really gets stuff done - award herself an extra fifteen minutes to brush her teeth?

(Read more....)

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