These are the things that keep me up at night.

I wonder why nobody but me seems to have ice cream dreams? I just popped wide awake and it’s barely 4 a.m. I wonder if I told people that I dreamt that I was grocery shopping with my uncle for some Doritos (nothing in the store but AISLES and AISLES of Doritos), would they believe me? I wonder if I run the washing machine or dishwasher right now, will my neighbors in the next unit be able to sleep through it? I need something to do since I’m awake. I wonder why the box that these wine glasses came in says that I shouldn’t put them in the dishwasher…how else are they supposed to get cleaned? I usually just drink limeade out of them anyway. I guess if the dishwasher messes them up, I can use a different kind of glass to drink my limeade. But it won’t be the same. I wonder which is a more appropriate dance to do while I’m washing my hands, the typewriter or the running man? Probably the typewriter; the running man seems excessive. And it seems unnatural to just stand still. I’m hungry. I wonder where I could get some wedding cake at 4 in the morning? With coconut on it? I need to get more sleep…I wanna stop using this under eye roller cuz it stinks. I wonder if I use the under eye roller above my eye, too, will I jinx myself? Speaking of eyes, this chick at the makeup counter asked me if I wanted some waterproof mascara…would anyone ever answer “no” to that? I mean, I wonder if there are people who want their mascara to run? No, really…are there? I wonder if people really use these “about me” pages? Is this another fad or is it something serious? I finally figured out how to get my picture centered, but now I can’t figure out what I want to say "about me". I wonder what people say about me? I wonder what the proper protocol is for heating one’s lunch in the break room at work? I mean, hypothetically, if it’s taking one’s food a really long time to heat, does it make sense to take a break and let one’s waiting co-worker(s) heat up their food? Cuz then one’s food will just get cold again and one will have to start all the way over. It doesn’t seem logical. Or fair. One was there first! They just need to wait until one is finished…and not roll their eyes. And speaking of eyes, this chick at the makeup counter the other day…oh wait…I already wondered about that. I wonder whose idea it was to put David Beckham in that H&M commercial in his underwear? Whoever it was, they are a marketing genius cuz I’m totally about to go buy some underwear from H&M right now! I wonder if Denzel will truly be a villain in his new movie? That’s how it looks in the commercial, but sometimes commercials are deceptive. Speaking of commercials, I really like this one. I can’t stop watching it on YouTube! I wonder if I haven’t gotten a flu shot by now, if it’s probably safe to assume I can ride it out for the rest of this season? I wonder why all these green squiggly lines keep popping up telling me that I need to use a period instead of a question mark?

What are some things that keep you up at night? Share them with me in the comments section.

P.S. If you want to read something way more coherent, sane, and written by someone who wasn’t sleep deprived, check out this article by my blogging sister from another mister: Relationship (and reader) Diversity: That's What It's All About. Hopefully, my post today hasn’t contradicted all the great things she had to say about me! ;)