The Thing About Forgiveness
One of the biggest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it says to the offender: I’m Ok with what you did; or You’re not responsible for what you did to me. We think somehow that forgiving a perpetrator is letting them ‘off the hook’; that we are surrendering to the offender. Not true. Saying I Forgive doesn’t indicate a willingness to be misled again. It isn’t saying: I want that person in my life again. Forgiving someone who has wronged you or hurt you simply says: I will no longer allow hatred, anger, angst, fear and disgust, tether me to the offender. I will no longer allow the toxins of the offender to hurt me.
Another Misconception: The offender needs to ask for your forgiveness. Wrong. The offender doesn’t have to ask for your forgiveness before you can hand it over. And personally, I don’t feel we have to say I Forgive You directly to the offender. I think we can say it out loud in the privacy of our cars or bathrooms... and that will be sufficient. Send a text. Mail a letter. Because really, forgiving your offender is for your benefit, not his. Besides, some offenses are just too vile to consider personal contact.
Unforgiveness and bitterness can seep into your soul and strip the happiness out of your life. Forgiveness is powerful.
So, “Let it go and be amazed by what you see thru the eyes of grace.