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I brought "Things About My Dad I Learned (in therapy)", the recently-released book of essays about fatherhood edited by Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com home with me to my parents' house after I picked it up at the local Borders (where it is shelved in self-help, by the by, aka, the section my previously more trainwrecked self used to shelve when I worked there. Hi, former employer Borders: That is weird. These are essays.) I left it on the dining room table, and busied myself with the things I do when I return to my parents' home, like whining, talking on the phone and watching Wheel of Fortune while drooling.
My dad came in from work, and yelled down to the living room.
"Is this for me?"
"What?"
"Things I learned about MY DAD? In THERAPY?"
And there it is.
I really liked this book, for the simple reason that it includes intelligent essays on an interesting topic by people who write well. This Heather B. Armstrong, as you may have heard, she knows people. And a few of these people are bloggers. But whether I'm holding their words in my hands or reading them on a screen, it doesn't really matter. The writers come at fatherhood from many different angles, such that I was left with a clear reminder of just how complex family relationships are (not a newsflash, right, but something that bears repeating, because sometimes Hallmark cards just don't hit the mark for a reason.)
Heather writes in the introduction, " I expected this collection to be uproariously funny, as most of these writers are known to provide much-needed comic relief to their audiences. But as the essays came in I was surprised to find a more layered narrative, and this book is filled with so much more than a series of physical pratfalls. Here you will find a love story rich with admiration, acceptance, recognition and finally forgiveness."
Eden Kennedy wrote about the death of her husband's stepfather in "Adam and Red," Alice Bradley illustrated the depth of love and Star Wars between her, her husband and son in "The Force Is With Us. Always," and Maggie Mason wrote about losing her father at a young age. Sarah Brown wrote about how, her Dad? He's awesome.
Matthew Baldwin, one of the funniest writers on the Web, contributed an essay (example: this post, about "My Humps" and his wife, no less still makes me laugh out loud, two years later.) Doug French, aka Laid Off Dad wrote in "The Last Summer" about the final season spent with his sons following his divorce from their mother and prior to moving out of their apartment. Heather Armstrong wrote an essay about her dad, and another about her husband, Jon, who contributed a piece about his relationship with his late father.
What did I love? I loved Eden's essay, which, duh, because if there is a writer I'd shill for it's her, but seriously it was excellent. I loved how while I read Sarah's essay I could see in my head her dad's smile from the myriad photos she's posted of him on Flickr over the years, which is at the same time the oddest and greatest thing about the Internet depending on your point of view.
But mostly I loved the men, mostly young fathers, writing about fatherhood from their own points of view. I love Greg Knauss's "Peas and Domestic Tranquility." His description of parenthood as tactical warfare was hilarious and at the same time beautiful. "A Girl Named Spike" by Matthew D. LaPlante of dearspike.com knocked my socks off, and so did the essay-that-reads-like-a-novella "Long Live the Weeds and the Wilderness Yet" by James Griffioen, aka Dutch of Sweet Juniper. Seriously, this story of his and his daughter's encounter with a pack of dogs on a remote Detroit playground was beautifully written and very moving. It also made me cry but I forgive him. I loved Bill Farrell's "Not My Problem" that ends the book, and if you want to know why, you'll have to get your hands on a copy I guess.
So, what did I not love? The pull quotes. The pull quotes were formatted strangely, sometimes right above the same passage they were quoted from, and they confused my eyes.
Heather actually writes about fatherhood a lot (full
