The Things I'm Looking Forward to in Middle-Age
When reading about middle-age, it can get dreary. I'm a little worried, actually I'm terrified, and possibly scarred for the rest of my middle-aged life, after what I've been exposed to. I'm not yet into the stages of menopause, but I think I'll start taking Xanax in preparation for it. I've never taken any kind of (legal) mood-altering medication but I recently found out it's quite popular with the women in my workplace. I'm totally the Xanax outsider. Luckily, I'm middle-aged so I don't mind being an outsider, anymore.
At a time like this, I think of some motherly advice I often give my children. When they have woken up scared from a nightmare and need calming, I always tell them to think of something positive, something that makes them happpy. Today, I'm going to take my own advice and write about some of the positive things I've heard I can look forward to in my middle-ages. (Actually this is a fallback plan since my coworker, Sally, refused to share one of her little, blue pills. She said I needed a prescription, or something like that. Yeah, right, some people are sooo self-centered.)
One good thing I've heard about middle-age is that sex can actually get better. Really, better than the fun-filled, five minute, monthly romp I get now! It gets better than that? Wow, I'm so excited! (Totally kidding, my husband would kill me if he read this, which he will not read this...ever.) In actuality, I have a great (that's wife-speak for average) sex life, but I could see it improving as my children grow-up and leave me the hell alone, so I can actually have sex.
If you're not married, the potential for better sex increases. Who am I kidding? You're probably already having great sex with the no-husband factor, and all. Nevertheless, as you get older, the pool of younger men increases, right? That's simple mathematics. It's a great time for our generation of middle-aged women. It's not only acceptable to date a much younger man, but you'll probably be cheered on for doing it. It's practically the coolest, trendiest thing a younger guy can do these days, find himself a sweet, hot cougar. When will society ever stop objectifying us poor women?
Another good thing I hear about being middle-aged is that a woman can become her true self. In middle-aged life, women don't care so much what other people think. We have the confidence to be our unique, individual selves. I am well on my way to realizing my authentic self. If you've read my blog, you already know about my addicted Bubble Pop playing, TV watching, responsibility shirking ways. Middle-age, the expression of one's full potential. Done and check.
Finally, I look forward to reconnecting with my friends in less rushed, more meaningful ways. In the earlier years, life can be so darn hectic. As women we are so heavily-laden with family, marriage, and work responsibilities. Our friendships tend to suffer for this. Yet, as women we are naturally programmed to feed off the strength and joy of the close relationships that friendship offers. With this thought in mind, I recently called one of my best friends who I had not had a chance to connect with in a while. Unfortunately, her number was disconnected. When I called her mother to get my friend's new number, her mother informed me that my friend had moved to another state. Note to self, make new friends to connect with in less rushed, more meaningful ways in middle-age.
Well, I am starting to feel better now about the whole middle-age thing. I'm sure there are even more positives to middle-age then I have mentioned here. What are you looking forward to in middle-age?