Think About It Thursday: Fighting For Your Life

Think About It Thursday: Fighting For Your Life

Published on May 23, 2013, by DivorcedDiva in DivorcedDiva.

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So you meet him…date him…fall in love with him… Then he leaves you…He doesn’t leave you for another woman though; he doesn’t even cheat on you…Oh that’s right, it’s the cancer, and he doesn’t want to share your body with this horrific disease… He wants to be the only one in your life, he wants to be the only one to search and explore your body, and he wants you all to himself, right? NOT!

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He doesn’t want to be there when you need him most, when your body is frail, when you’re weak, sick and barely hanging on through chemo therapy and healing from the surgeries. He doesn’t want to be there to see your eyes look empty, to be there to hold what’s left of your hair while you vomit, to be there to hold your hand when you’re afraid…to be there to tell you you’re not broken, you’re strong…No he only wants the part of you that is whole, the part that is strong, the part of you that smiles and has sex with him just because… He wants the you that’s dressed up, smelling good, standing six feet in heels, the part of you that’s painted in red lipstick, the part of you that would never leave the house without every curl in place, the part of you that holds his hand on those long walks, the part of you that can take care of yourself in a crisis, that part deep down inside of you that is never afraid to dream and takes what you want…

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But you were diagnosed with cancer and well that’s way too much for him to handle, right? Who would expect him to stay and support you while you fight for your life? I know you didn’t even see this coming and it literally knocked the wind out of your sail especially after finding out that you had an immune system that became your enemy…

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You really thought he was the “one”… You finally found a “good” guy… The man you could grow old with… The one who would be there no matter what…The one you banked on being there when the Doctor gave you the diagnosis, the one you could count on to be in your corner like in a boxing match, the one that would encourage you and let you know everything was going to be okay…Unfortunately, he wasn’t “that guy”, he wasn’t there for you when your life was in the balance and now you’re done with chemo, your hair is growing back, gaining your strength again, the cancer is gone, you can walk without wanting to pass out, you have hope in your heart, your eyes dance once again knowing that you have survived what so many have been succumb by…

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Now here he comes, with his happiness, with his life untouched, with his smile, with his hope that you will take him back, you will forget that he left at the exact moment that you needed him the most, you will forget that he was not there for you when your life swung in the balance…

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So what do you do? Cause you’ve learned so many spiritual lessons during your fight with this relentless disease, you’ve learned to hope, believe in your healing, forgive others and yourself, you’ve learned that life is precious and there is no moment worth wasting because the next one is not promised, you’ve learned to LIVE while you were dying… So I ask you again, how do you handle this untimely return? How do you deal with this betrayal? How do you look Judas in the face and kiss him and tell him that you forgive him?

 

The DivorcedDiva

“Love Still Exist”

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