Thinking About You Ryan!
So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. ~1 Corinthians 15:42-44
It has been eleven years since Ryan has left us on earth and moved toward eternity. Is is easier that it's been over a decade since his passing? Nope, not at all, but through the grace of God we are still managing to get by every day.
There is no doubt that Ryan is looking down us, especially Kyle. I'm sure Ryan is extremely proud of the young man his son has turned out to be, as we all are, friends and family alike. How do I know? Well, the presence of Ryan is a gut feeling, but those residing on earth, they mention it in passing or make it a point to call out Kyle's kind heart and sincerity.
Kyle is the best reminder of Ryan, not that we need it. With Kyle, it's fun to share stories about his dad and make comparisons between the two. Although, the biggest joke we have is that Kyle is my sister reincarnated. While that's true for many of Kyle's characteristics, the truth is Kyle is so much his dad, his friendliness, candor, and sense of humor are all Ryan. Even his creativeness and desire to build are stemmed mostly from Ryan. I guess Kyle's a little bit of us all.
Sometimes I can still see Ryan's unique smirk. It wasn't quit a smile but certainly not a frown, and it was a bit crooked, almost a mischievous grin. When he demonstrated that look, you couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Although when he shot me that expression along with the rolling of the eyes, I knew exactly what he was saying inside. Of course now-a-days while he's hanging out in heaven with my pap, Ryan's probably saying 'What were you thinking Heather?' or 'My family is a rare breed.' I hope we are entertaining him but I mostly hope all of our actions and decisions are Ryan approved, especially when it comes to Kyle. I've always said, with all my decisions regarding Kyle I ask the question, "Does it help or hinder him mentally, spiritually or physically?" I also try to take Ryan into consideration. I know it's silly, but I try to picture how Ryan would have raised Kyle and handle certain situations.
No matter what goes on in life, good or bad, no matter how busy or hectic things get, we still think of Ryan every day and I can't help but wonder what the days would be like if he was still around. Death is tough on the living. I can't wait till we are reunited again! I miss my little brother!