Those Piles of Dirty Clothes Kids Leave Around the House

Dear J -
I am so deeply sorry that I have not understood about the piles of clothes you've been leaving around the house all these years. Please forgive me.  I saw the light when I read the following submission to Atlantic Monthly “Word Fugitive” column:
“I’m looking for a word for the items of clothing which sit perched in my bedroom, waiting to be reworn. They are not yet ready for the laundry bin (since I plan to rewear them), but they are no longer suitable for the wardrobe (which I reserve for clean clothes). I assume others keep their lightly worn clothes in a similar purgatory?”
My submission:
I begin with an apology to my son - J - who has been leaving what I thought were dirty clothes in various mounds around the house for many years. 
J -
I am sorry for accusing you of being a slob.  I hoped that when you went to college you would change.  I’m sorry that I expressed my disappointment when upon our first visit I saw the usual mound in front of the bunk bed where not only you but your unfortunate roommate had to step on or around the clothes hill.  
Finally I asked “Why do you do this when the clothes hamper is within reach?”  I apologize for accusing you of making up a lame excuse when you explained that these clothes were “tweener-duds” and therefore not clean enough to be in the company of freshly laundered items in the closet but not yet dirty enough to have earned the status of laundry.  I see now they were “limbowear”, and you are among the proud few who share this system.  In honor of the texting generation that founded this concept I also suggest we could call them 2clean4laun (too clean for laundry) and 2dirt4close (too dirty for closet).  The really big piles will simply be called Himalayers.
With new found affection and respect -
Love Mom
To mothers and fathers everywhere.  Feel free to employ this as a template to formulate your personalized apology to your sons and daughters. 


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