"The weddings are orchestrated about the photographers taking the picture, because if it hasn't been photographed it doesn't really exist."

-Elliott Erwitt

This coming weekend, a childhood friend is marrying another childhood friend and it’s forming into the Reunion of the Century. The bride posed the inevitable question a few weeks ago and I could see it coming a mile away: “So, um, I thought maybe if you wouldn’t mind, can you take some photos?”

As the veteran of MANY weddings (I’ve been a bridesmaid 15 times, for starters) I often get this question not because I am skilled with the camera but I’ll do it anyway. Quite frankly, it’s the best way to make sure that I am not in the photos while also avoiding the persistent questioning of why I remain unmarried. (Answer: I don’t know – I’m a pain in the ass, is one theory.)

Also, I favor the anti-shots that the Hired Professional isn’t going to take because, let’s face it, their main function is to document what I call the 'Familial Variations Extravaganza.' You know, the 8,000 family shots that folks need to document who is alive and properly dressed on that day: “Okay, now one more with just the second cousins and the groomsmen!”

I say, let someone else snap the crowd of your college friends all in a group, smiling … BO-ring! I want the shot of the bride’s father who is glued to a radio, listening to the Mets game, until he absolutely has to walk his daughter down the aisle. I want the shot of the passed-out toddlers who have finally hit a wall after eating cake and dancing their hearts out. I want the painful shoe marks on the foot of a loyal bridesmaid, a nervous bride biting her nails and running around in curlers, or the quick eye rolling of the Maid of Honor, after getting hit on by Groomsman #5, whom she briefly dated in high school, a fact he has forgotten but she has not.

In certain bridal circles, I developed a reputation for my quirky shots, so much so that a bride-friend’s new stepmother-in-law once hired me as a pro. She paid for my trip to Connecticut so I could shoot her daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. Seemed like a good gig.

It was awful, I hated it. For me, once a passion becomes a ‘has to’ instead of a ‘like to’, the fun often goes out of it. And, as many times as I clearly stated “I don’t do family line-up shots – I’m strictly a behind-the-scenes candid shooter” Stepmom never seemed to hear me.

Sure enough, the day came and the family insisted I reverse my strategy and suddenly, I was shouting, “We need just the paternal grandparents, then maternal, and then the Great Aunts now please, move in closer!” What was once a lighthearted hobby became a sweaty demanding endeavor full of faces I did not know.

This has happened to me before in previous eras. When I became a restaurant reviewer, the job everyone thinks they want, the act of going out to eat became work. After two years, I simply wanted to eat toast at home in peace. My well-fed friends were most upset with my decision to leave the job.

What I like about weddings is all the unplanned missteps, frazzled nerves and bad behaviors. So much energy and focus is put into making everything photo layout perfect that any slip in the cracks makes for ideal frame fodder. In other words, these 'imperfections' are what makes it a worthwhile event. After all, it's about Love and we all know, Love isn't perfect but it is what keeps the world going 'round.

Check out Breathe Deeply, the wedding photos of Lauren Brooks from Portland, Oregon. Of all the wedding shots I've seen, this is one that truly melts my heart. Again, not posed or perfect but have you ever seen a more content groom? He looks like he has finally come home and I'm tearing up just writing this so I'm quickly moving on ...

While you're at it, check out the wedding shots of Lauren's friend, Michelle Burke, also of Portland. Again, very few of these appear to be posed and she's incredibly effective at capturing the raw joy of weddings. Her shots remind me why I like weddings the first place, especially those where pets are included in the ceremony.

Behold the work of Cory Ann Ellis who lives in Brookings, South Dakota. She pulls off some rich, gorgeous shots of designer detail. Her usage of lighting makes for sumptuous close-ups. Almost makes me want to be a bridesmaid again.

I said, almost.