The Thrill is Gone
That's right - the thrill is indeed GONE. I did not jump out of bed excited to exercise or determined to stick to healthy foods. Of course, I never have jumped out of bed with that frame of mind, but I was at least pleased with finally working on the process of getting healthier.
And then today hit. No desire to do Jillian. But I did. I asked myself, "What will make me feel proud?" and the answer is, of course, "Doing the dang 20 minutes of exercise." So I talked about and put the DVD in and heard the peppy upbeat music in the background and got my clothes changes and then, finally, did it. Phew!
The smell of the cake on our counter is also calling me, but I made a cup of tea instead.
I also weighed myself (after doing Jillian) and saw that I'm right back where I was six weeks ago when I was trying do lose a bit of weight - meaning I haven't made any great strides.
YET, I have!
I ordered jeans online and I ordered them one inch smaller in the waist. Granted, I can't get them up quite high enough, so they hang below my stomach and they push my butt fat up so that I have a plumber's butt AND I'm not planning on washing them at all so they can stay marginally stretched out.....BUT....when I put them on today, they did fit better and my plumber's butt is not so obvious (underneath my long shirt). Maybe if I keep this up, I will be able to wash them one day.
As well, I feel a bit stronger and a bit leaner. It might not show on the outside, but my muscles are getting a bit of a workout with Jillian and I like that. I like that I can do 10 pushups before putting my knees on the mat.
But mainly, I feel proud of myself for doing something.
I just wish it was a faster process. This is the really bummer thing about trying to get healthy or lose weight - it just takes so dang long. And it requires consistency. Ugh. It requires sticking with it and feeling huge swells of pride for getting through small periods of time and yet only yields miniscule results - like a snail climbing a huge mountain - it takes lots of time and consistency. It requires sticking with it on good weeks and bad weeks and good hours and bad hours and through one's period and pre-period and post-period, through stressful days and fun events....blech blech blech.
The positive, however, is that my slip-ups, like the first three weeks or March, are not as damaging. When I do get back to the healthy foods and the daily exercise, I feel the difference that much faster. And when I do slip up, it's not near as bad as my slip-ups from a couple years ago. This month I slipped and ate chocolate - lots of chocolate. But that's still not as bad as Doritos or cheese rolls from the deli or ice cream that triggers inflammation. I'm slipping up with Grace. :)
The thrill is going, but I'm continuing on.