Time For a Beauty Overhaul: New Jeans and Dye Roots or Defend Innocence and Grace?

A recent visit to one of my fave boutiques on South Beach proved a wake up call in my self concept and the need to defend inner beauty.

I’d ventured over to Washington Avenue where lie a few small
boutiques housing rather affordable feminine digs from Rio to Rome, one
selling jeans from Brazil that feel like they’ve been laundered 20
times, embroidered with feminine designs that are just very me.

Yet no sooner am I in the dressing room than I zero into my roots.
Very grey. Very in need of new hair color. And within moments I was
doing the whole size myself up again—more mentally than in the mirror.
“Woman you need an overhaul. You’re hair’s a mess, your body’s tired,
you look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”

In just a few moments an enormous mental warfare ensued. My thoughts
became filled with this heaviness, disgust, anger, and frustration
completely beat up by these attacking hissing voices horrifically
sabotaging me, calling me an idiot, an ugly mess,  negligent toward
self care, falling apart, an entire waste of existence who’s letting
herself go to pieces.

There were a load more of condemning thoughts nothing short of self abuse and sabotage.

Before I knew it, these heinous attacks paralyzed me and I couldn’t
do anything except bend over and try to regain some semblance of peace.
I was overwhelmed, depressed and angry….less about the condemning
accusations--more about allowing my thoughts to entertain any of them.

Stuck in this mental warfare I knew I had to arrest these attacking thoughts in order to reclaim inherent peace.

So right there in the dressing room, I grabbed a hold of my heart
and became my own spiritual defense attorney. I vehemently defended my
true worth, my spirituality and true substance—not defined by my weight
or appearance, not measured by when I’ve let my hair go, when I need my
roots colored. My arguments went something like this:

“You are whole this moment. You are not a mistake, you are not a
wasted life. You are not a disshelved mess. You are this moment the
immediate expression of the one Being and you have this moment every
ounce of grace, purity, beauty, innocence, and light you will ever
have. None of these heinous lies have any bearing on your individuality
and can not attest ever the true worth of your being. You do not need
to pay them any heed and they do not have the power to control your
thoughts or actions.”

This is how I engage in the mental warfare—working from the
standpoint of my spiritual substance that is unshakable and undeniable
and not about the clothes I put on or the haircolor. Surely not.

Sometimes women are most vulnerable to these mental attacks when
we’re shopping or getting clothes or trying to do a simple errand. And
yet, if you’re aware of the tendency of thoughts to wander, you become
very aware of the need to defend or advocate for your innate goodness
24/7.

None of us need to be victims of mental condemnation nor are any of
those heinous attacks ever coming from our own thinking even though
they are dressed up as our own thoughts.

Time and again I find that whenever I’m aware of such a mental
battle the only thing that matters is denying the very thing being
argued however I can and immediately--whether this means pulling the
car to the side of the road, getting offline, or leaving a dressing
room.

But time and again, I find that if I arrest these vicious attacks on
my individuality right as soon as they’re trying to engage and absorb
my attention, they eventually fall away.

The point: my substance and worth is never going to be defined by a
body weight, a jeans size or the length and color of my hair. Nor is
yours.

The worth of any of our individuality is already set….already established. It is our very inherent nature and already secure.

So back to my dressing room experience. I chose at that moment to
walk out of the store without making any purchase. The jeans didn’t fit
the way I wanted and I was not yet free of the condemnations.

Just around the corner from the store is the beach. And I took a
long walk, staring out at the currents moving the waters to crash as
waves upon the shore. Concurrently I was still engaged in this mental
battle defending my true worth, my individuality, my completeness. It
took a few hours, but eventually the sabotaging stopped.

And it really doesn’t matter how long it takes--so long as each one of us doesn’t fall victim to the attacks.

The truths of any of our individualities is already established.
None of us are lacking in the substance of true beauty: patience, joy,
innocence, lovingkindness, purity, grace, tenderheartedness or
childlikeness.

Often I find that to the degree I strive to exude any one of those qualities that feeling of pure beauty comes over me.

So I simply offer this post in hopes of holding hands with anyone
who finds themselves stuck -- sometimes or often--in that mental
warfare.

You don’t have to be so victimized. You can stand up and defend your
true worth and real beauty. You are never alone in this seeming
struggle and you can learn how to squelch the condemnations time and
time again.

Lemme know what has worked for you…and how you’re striving to live your peace and inner beauty.

Leave a comment or send an email to evolveserenity at gmail dot com.

Be well.... :)

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