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Television used to be a job for those with an acting background. People schlepped themselves to acting classes and auditions and ate ramen noodles for years on end while trying to maintain their weight -- all for the chance of landing an acting job. But in this new, reality-television saturated world, anyone can be a television star -- no acting experience required. Oprah is capitalizing on this idea by offering one talented American their very own show on her new network, OWN.
What do you have to do to win? According to Oprah:
We are looking for people who have gifts. Infectious energy. A unique sense of humor. Personality galore. Pair that with a fun and creative idea, and you could end up with your own show.
And you can't help but examine yourself as she talks on the video. Infectious energy? I'm not sure if I have it. I think I might. I mean, I got my entire family to go geocaching without a GPS in the middle of the woods this weekend. Would Oprah count that as infectious?
A unique sense of humor. Can I count the fact that I am not humorous as "unique"? Lots of people are funny, but a really unique sense of humor would be having none at all and the complete inability to deliver a joke.
Personality galore? I sing in the shower. I know the entire score of Jesus Christ Superstar. I took tap back when I was eight. I do an amazing job of cracking my own back.
OPRAH PICK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Oh, wait, I forgot about the fun and creative idea. Because that's the catch -- what type of show is fun and creative and never done before? Television is a gluttonous mass of reality television and talk shows at the moment. As much as I rack my brain for a clever idea, I keep coming up with stuff that has already been done.
But you better believe people who are more television-ready will be submitting audition tapes for themselves. Babble calls it "a perfect job for a mom — if you’re the star, they probably let you take your kids to work." (er...really? My immediate thought wasn't, "a television job! Perfect for someone who just had a baby!").
Mediabistro outlines the major categories being considered:
There are five categories wannabe TV stars can make audition tapes for: traditional talk show, cooking show, interior design or fashion, health and well being and "wildcard," which sounds like it will be the most interesting to watch.
I'm not sure if Mediabistro understands that "wildcard" is not the seventh definition in urban dictionary when they say that "it will be the most interesting to watch."
The five finalists will be chosen by general readers of Oprah.com and will be paired with five additional people who come from casting calls and producer-found talent. Those ten people will become the competitors on a television show to determine the winner, much like numerous shows out there already such as the Next Food Network Star.
So much for original television content.
So dish -- are you going to try out for Oprah's network and what type of show would you want if you could appear on television?
Melissa writes Stirrup Queens and Lost and Found. Her book is Navigating the Land of If.
