Tip of the Week: Throw the scale out the window.
By notyourmotherscrazy on July 12, 2009
I have driven myself crazy for the last week. No, I'm not kidding. I
have been a total basket case. I have gained about 5 pounds. Insert
"GASP" here. Five whole pounds. Oh. My. God. Life will end right now!
Okay, not really.
It's five pounds. Five. The bad thing is that I have a very small
frame and gain all my weight in the midsection so five pounds is a
whole dress size for me. But, there are a few things contributing to
this. One is obvious and I won't get into it but, ladies, you feel me.
I know you do.
Last night, Brent and I went out to dinner with some friends and for
the first time in a long time I did the ceremonial
I've-gained-five-pounds-trying-on-of-739-outfits. Brent is a patient
and sweet man. I would have thrown a large sack over my head and beat
You know what my problem is? Well, there are many, but I stepped on
the scale THREE times yesterday. Three. For no good reason. Could I be
any bigger of a moron? Probably not. So today, the scale is going away.
Please join me in this. I'm declaring July 12th Day of Ceremonial Scale
Tossing. Banish it form your home as you would leftovers that have been
in your fridge for three days. It's key to your sanity. Let me tell you
Who cares about five freakin' pounds? Really? This is worth
freaking out over? I could have spent that 20 minutes fretting over my
outfit on something much better like reading a magazine, knitting or
you know, making out with Brent. All good things. It's not like we're
going to be shunned from society for five pounds. The waitress at the
restaurant was not going to say to me, "Oh the fish and chips? They are
REALLY good. But, ummmmm, you better not. I bet you've gained five
We know when we've gained weight. Duh. Do we really need
proof? Let's give ourselves some credit here. "Gee, it seems that if I
want to wear these jeans, I will need Crisco and a shoe horn to get
into them. I wonder if I've gained weight. I should jump on the scale
and find out!" See? When I put it that way it's seems pretty stupid.
Stop being stupid.
The scale ain't gonna lose the weight for you. I have been
known to make a deal with myself, aka the Devil, that I'll be good just
as soon as I get to X pounds. Well, my happy little self was THRILLED
when I hit my target weight two days before my vacation to Mexico last
month. So thrilled was I that I celebrated by eating my weight in carne
asada and consuming almost that much liquor. One months later, I've got
five extra pounds. Sweet...
So what do you do instead? Get over it. I'm not going to obsess about it. I have bigger fish to fry. Understand why you gained weight. Oh, I'd like to blame it on a problem with hormones or whatever. The problem is with my hand moving yummy things to my mouth. Keep eating.My
problem is that I forget that moderation is best when done in
moderation. So easy to forget, especially when red wine is involved.
Really though, it is just fine to enjoy really good foods. Just need to
go easy on it. Move.Losing the five pounds is a matter of one formula - move more, eat less. I'm not too birght if I can't grasp that one. Give yourself time. It takes twice as long to lose weight as it does to gain it. That means I have two months to get back to "normal."
The biggest thing to keep sight of is that this is life. I want to
live my life. I got the fish and chips last night and they were worth
every bite. I'm glad I didn't order the generic cobb salad. I enjoyed
my dinner and it made me happy. I just only ate half of it...