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Left of center baby boomer in a perpetual state of discovery. Some of my Heras are Toni Morrison, Luisa Teish, Marjorie Bowens-Wheatley, and Maya Ang...
 
 
 
 

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'Tis the Season

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I am one of those who do not celebrate Christmas, who do not go to church, who do not participate in office parties and revelries of the season.  Each  year I dread the onslaught of  commodified craziness that passes for the holidays. I refuse to go to the Mall; the frenzy makes me angry and frustrated. As a woman who walks a different  spiritual path, I often feel more than a little out of place at work during this time of year.

When the inevitable global email call came for Secret Santa, decorating volunteers, and such, I quietly deleted it and went on working. When one of my co-workers appeared at my desk, urging me to hurry to the name drawing for Secret Santa, I squirmed and stuttered. Having been forced from one job years ago because of my religious difference from the norm, I am not eager to call attention to myself during this time of year.

The other part of me, the central core, the part of me that sings joy at my difference, wants to honor that which gives my life purpose and meaning, that which is my source. The Orishas, the Corn Mother, Mother Goddesses of my ancestors have whispered in my ear since I was a little girl. As  many Christians take for granted that everyone is just like them and assume that  caroling, Christmas trees, gifts, and the foundation of Christ as Savior is how everyone moves through the world, or should, I am surrounded by them and am often  a solitary practitioner of a spirituality that finds spirit in the very rocks beneath my feet.

As the other people in my office decorate their spaces with Santas, angels, elves, and the like, I'm thinking of how I can bring the spirit of this season  and what it means to me into my office space without becoming a target of intolerance.

Foraging about in Michael's and thinking about the meaning of Solstice and how it fits in with my spiritual path, a different kind of Santa Claus figure caught my eye. He held a staff, a bird's nest, and wore long robes. Oh, how did he make it onto the shelves without a bag of toys, and no red suit? His long white beard got me thinking about the color white--old man, white hair, white robes...Obatala. Obatala is the Orisha who rules the head with a cool nature, even handedness and justice. Luisah Teish describes Obatala:

"...the adrogynous sky-god...the supreme deity of the Yoruba pantheon...envisioned as an ancient wo/man dressed in luminous white cloth and having lustrous white hair. It is Obatala who shapes the child in the womb...most benevolent, most wise, and infinitely powerful...judge and keeper of the peace...Obatala can be both forgiving and vengeful; brilliant and retarded; perfect and deformed..."

Why not then ask  for the presence of this Orisha during this time of year. All around are the signs of Obatala--the color of white in the snow, the winter clouds, the frost on the trees and ground. Santa himself echoes Obatala's presence--the old man bent over his staff, long white hair and beard flowing, his kindness evident in the sparrows sitting on his shoulder and the tiny birds' eggs held in the nest cradled in his arm. Here then is what I am listening for this season--to learn of Obatala and how this Orisha can teach me to be  in this world that I am so at odds with most of the time.

I'm still not quite sure what to do about my space at work. I may decide not to decorate it at all and just remain the "weird" one. It won't be the first time or the last. I'm ok with that.

 

 

 

 

http://osunsdrum.blogspot.com/ Don’t mind the destination, don’t mind the end. Learn from the past, but grab hold of now. Now is always evolving. ~Rumi

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goddessdreams 5 pts

Thanks, Fabgrandma for taking the time to post your thoughts. The insanity does frustrate me too. Just going out to do grocery shopping is an ordeal. I go early in the morning and get home before most of the rush gains momentum.

Christ in Christmas? No, I don't like getting beat over the head with that one either. But...I have known those who call themselves Christians, and those who don't and they live each day of their lives by a credo of compassion in action, tolerance, and a choice to love; they have never stepped foot in a church. I also have known folks who could quote chapter and verse of the entire Bible, who tithed 30% of their income and never missed a Sunday service, and who look at some poor homeless person on the corner like they were trash someone forgot to sweep up.

I don't know. I guess the thing is no one has a corner on the right answers. All we can do is keep trying to find a balance between what we believe and how we live it out.

http://osunsdrum.blogspot.com/ Don’t mind the destination, don’t mind the end. Learn from the past, but grab hold of now. Now is always evolving. ~Rumi

goddessdreams 5 pts

DenMother, your sock monsters sound like my house when all of my children were in residence :)

Thank you for your good thoughts and for reminding me to look for others who are hanging out in the margins with me. Sometimes I get so focused on protecting myself I forget that I am not always alone.

Weird has its advantages--it does, indeed, make for adaptability; it also makes it hard to not stick out in an awkward way. Maybe that is one lesson Obatala wants me to learn--and to keep a cool head in the midst of it all.

http://osunsdrum.blogspot.com/ Don’t mind the destination, don’t mind the end. Learn from the past, but grab hold of now. Now is always evolving. ~Rumi

goddessdreams 5 pts

Hi MrsAwwsum and thank you for commenting. It's amazing how so many traditions have common threads and connections. I guess it illustrates that we are truly more alike than we are different.

Years ago, my mother-in-law gave me a bag ful of santas--wooden ones, ceramic ones, tall ones, short ones, and fat. I put them on our mantel and enjoyed them because she got so much pleasure from seeing them displayed in our home. Though even then Christmas was becoming less important to me, I honored her gift as something from someone I was deeply connected to and loved.

http://osunsdrum.blogspot.com/ Don’t mind the destination, don’t mind the end. Learn from the past, but grab hold of now. Now is always evolving. ~Rumi

goddessdreams 5 pts

Thanks for your comments, suebob. I can appreciate what you're saying. For many people who have chosen a path, it's not so much about feeling like we have to change as it is just trying to get in where we fit in.

Just as you have to the choice to say yes, when asked to celebrate, I have the choice to say no. I would like a world in which everyone has the choice and won't be penalized for choosing.

http://osunsdrum.blogspot.com/ Don’t mind the destination, don’t mind the end. Learn from the past, but grab hold of now. Now is always evolving. ~Rumi

FabGrandma 5 pts

I don't know what I "am", either, except that I am human. Growing up, we celebrated Christmas, but we never ever went to church. I really do "get" that Christians and many non-Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus as their holiest of days. But, to me, it has gotten so commercialized and more of a contest to see who can give the most or the most expensive gifts. I stopped taking part in this commercial frenzy when my sister and my mother actually laughed at and made fun of the gifts I gave in 2005.

I get really tired of all the hoopla about "keeping Christ in Christmas" when more than half of the people I know who are saying it the loudest never ever go to church. I feel like telling them, "when YOU put Christ in Christmas, then you can ask others to."

Christianity is NOT the only religion on the planet, or in the United States, and all people in this country have the right to celebrate in their own way. And to me, "Seasons Greetings" is not as offensive as hearing "Merry CHRISTmas" from a non-practicing Christian.

Read the latest at http://fabgrandma.blogspot.com/

Den Mother 5 pts

As the Den Mother to a group of sock monsters of all religious persuasions, I have to be careful how I decorate for and celebrate holidays. Monsters are very celebratory creatures. The point of exclamation is their favorite bit of punctuation, and most of them don't really care specifically that their beliefs are or are not being honored so long as there is a party and a chance to have a good time and share happiness with one another. Not all of them feel this way, though, and at this time of year, they can feel outnumbered. I know of at least one monster who prefers silent meditation to all of the festivities. It's hard to have silence among so many outspoken revelers. I do my best to create a space for devotion of every kind, but it's not always easy. You raise excellent points, and remind me not to exclude anyone or assume that everyone wants to or can participate in every festival. I'm sorry that you have felt judged and 'weird' for having a different spiritual life from the mass of your co-workers. (Monsters actually are weird, and they have had to get adapt to the fact that to some people difference is scary.) Maybe you can find a way to identify others in your workplace who also feel silenced during this season? Or make special time for your own meditations on spirituality to balance out the cultural commotion. I am intrigued by your description of Obatala. S/he seems a beautiful figure on whom to meditate, especially at this time of year! Thank you!

MrsAwwsum 5 pts

Thank you for this!! I have been posting about this on my FB page and on my own blog. This time of year actually saddens me because of all the hub-bub.
Oh, and it sounds like we have the same Santa!! I have several Santas, actually, but he has to have something unique about him before I consider buying him.

suebob 7 pts

I'm not a Christian. I'm not sure what I am, religiously. But I am a celebrator. If someone wants me to celebrate with them, I will do it. Like you, I haaaaaate the commercial part of Christmas and avoid shopping and the mall. But I do enjoy having songs that so many people know and can sing together. I enjoy decorations and food. I don't have to believe in the Virgin Birth to see the story as an allegory for beginnings, for magic, for something great coming out of a humble and dark place.

I will spin the dreidl, I will take part in Yule ceremonies (I remember one where we wiggled on our backs through a line of women standing with legs apart - symbolizing rebirth. It was hilarious and hard and crazy good fun). I will belt out "O Holy Night" in my off-key manner.

After years of struggling with who am I, what do I believe, I choose to believe in The Good Parts of all of it. I don't think I'm obligated to change my religion just because I choose to celebrate with anyone who invites me to join in.