..toddlers who wear pants that say "JUICY" across the butt, and other grumbles...

What in the world have we done to our women?

Now I know...we are women. We know who we are and what we want and blah blah blah.This is not an article about bra burning, unshaven armpits, or poster board on sticks. It's about pride.

It has been my observation, right or wrong, in recent months that we are knocking the breath out of the truly strong woman and everything she has fought for over the years. I don't hang out with a lot of women anymore.  I did. I grew very tired of the energy sucking entitled attitude and vapid contentment in a world that exists well inside the actual world where things need to be worked for and maintained.

Right outside our front doors, the liberties, the rights, the things our moms and grandmoms fought so hard for are being knocked around and thrown back and forth like a bad game of monkey in the middle. And we, ladies, we are the monkey. And so are your daughters. Birth control is on the chopping block. Women's roles in the work place are too. It's time to stop assuming those ladies in the 60's did all the work and now we can rest on our laurels. But first things first...

Let's talk for a minute about pride, and the pride that was forgotten when it was time to teach girls what that meant. Ladies, you do NOT need to take your ex to the cleaners when you get divorced. Just because your marriage didn't work does not mean you need the house, the car, alimony, insurance, and a free ticket to get your hair and nails done for the rest of your days. I am not saying that there are not cases where spousal support is warranted. I am divorced. I know there are. But when I got divorced, I left with my son, my dog, second hand furniture, and my pride. I worked three jobs. I literally cleaned toilets. It took me several years to get back to where I was prior to my divorce. But I did it. And the money I have is mine. The things I have are mine. My self respect and pride is mine.

But that is not the norm. I am not the norm. Women are all about "taking the man to the cleaners". I have a lot of male friends who endured hellish divorces with women who must have surely had a forked tale hidden inside those Guess jeans. These were not guys who cheated or abused. These were marriages that simply fell apart. People who grew apart and could not make it work. Still, these women took everything. These guys now hand over 3/4 of their paychecks to women who only have to work part time, if they can be bothered to work at all. Their rent is paid, their insurance is paid, hair and nails are done, nice clothes, and this is above and beyond what is paid to take care of their children. Ladies...why? Are you that lazy? Do you have that little pride in yourself?
Marriage is no longer an institution of love. I don't care WHO you marry. As I see it, if you are lucky enough to find real love in this world with a man, a woman, an alien from a UFO, by all means hang on tight to that person and DO NOT LET GO for the love of god. But if you marry that person and have children, stick to it. Do not give up when the going gets tough. And it WILL get tough. As I said above, I am a divorcee. I know there are times when you have to let it go. But when that happens, leave your kids out of it. Don't use them as pawns. Don't make it about you. It's about THEM. You brought them into the world. They did not ask to be here, and no matter what you are going through, what they are going through is a million times worse, more confusing, and they don't have the life experience yet to make sense of it the way you can. So stop bad talking your ex. Stop worrying about how much he will give you. Stand up and do it yourself. PRIDE, ladies.

Maybe it's all these wedding shows on TV. Girls rush into getting married so they can have that ridiculous wedding they see played out all over the place. The glitz, the glamour, the stupid fluff and wasted money. Do you know what real love is? You and that person you can't stand to spend another day without, standing in front of anyone who can legally marrying you and pledging to stick together no matter what, for no other reason than that you love one another. The rest is just a party. And a party doesn't need to cost $100,000. If it does, you need to consider altering your priorities. You could have bought a home for the money you will spend on a dress you won't wear again, tuxedo rentals, and a few hours of free food and cocktails for people you probably don't even talk to.

Speaking of a dress. Can we touch on something else? Wardrobe. I love a good looking woman as much as the next person, but come on gals. What in gods name are you sending your daughters out wearing? When I was soft-more in high school, I attempted to attend my drama club banquet in a mini skirt. You better believe my father didn't let me leave the house. This was the early 90's. It was not the 50's, folks. But my parents had pride in me and who they wanted me to grow into. On a summer day now, it's not uncommon to see girls with shorts so short their cheeks are visible. This is not on the beach. This is walking down the sidewalk in Small Town, USA. Now I know a lot of guys who are not complaining, but I can't imagine you would like to know what those guys are thinking about your innocent little girls. What kind of message are we letting these girls send to others? Our bodies are here for the viewing? Objectify our daughters...it's ok with us! We bought her those pants that say "JUICY" across the ass! Don't shake your heads and say "not me" moms. I have seen those pants on toddlers. And they were holding YOUR hand in the supermarket, so I am pretty sure you knew they were wearing them. What are you doing?!

It's not like our girls have a whole lot of women to look up to nowadays. Tabloids are sprayed with Kardashians and Jersey Shore alumni...drinking, tanning, and sex tapes are what our girls see women being famous for. Not their talents. Not their minds. Shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom glorify the concept of rushing a teenager into some of the most challenging aspects of adulthood...things that should not be taken lightly by anyone...but for our girls, it's television. It's pretty girls with nice cars who just happen to have cute, well dressed babies to match their perfectly manicured nails and hip clothes. Trash, trash, and more trash. And that is what the kids are growing up on. That is "reality" to them. Then we wonder why STD rates are high. Bullying is out of control. Suicide rates have skyrocketed. Hard drug use by teenagers has grown tremendously.

Ladies, our mothers and grandmothers struggled. They fought. They wanted the world to be a better place for us and our daughters to live in. A place where we would be proud. Where we could aspire to be whatever we want to be. What do we do? We tell our daughters it's ok to be Snookie.

Ladies, it's time to step up. Take it back. Bring back our pride. Raise our daughters to be women. Not girls.

We are women. Hear us roar. Not bitch. Not make that brain stopping sound Snookie makes.

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