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Sparkle (1)
I started thinking about life as a single adult and the many experiences that occur during this time. Granted, we ultimately learn from these experiences, however, there comes a time when exhibiting the same behaviors starts to hold us back from becoming the best single gals that we can be.
This is not to say that you should cease said behaviors for the expressed purpose of snagging a man. Having witnessed, treated, and been guilty of these actions myself during various points in life, I have learned that a lot of these habits are detrimental to a woman's self-worth, piece of mind, and/or ability to grow as an individual. So what are these behaviors you ask? Presenting:
10 things single girls should stop doing... and what you should do instead.
1. Living by a timetable- Growing up, we learn to develop dreams. Dreams help to shape expectations. Some expectations are healthy: dreaming to find true love; expecting to one day get married, have a career, etc. Then there are the expectations that morph into inflexible requirements, and subsequently begin to haunt us if they do not occur how and when we want them to. For example, saying "I need to be married by the time I'm 26 and be done having kids by 30." Setting up such a rigid requirement for oneself can be extremely stressful and on your 25th birthday when the anxiety starts rolling in, you may feel that you need to find someone {anyone} quickly (i.e. settling) or start feeling inadequate and in despair because you reached that set age without having met the requirement.
What to do instead: Leave yourself open to finding and receiving love at anytime. Hold on to your healthy expectations, but turn off that mental alarm clock and focus on living life as fully as possible in the present.
2. Waiting for company- This is for all the single ladies who ever wanted to travel abroad, skydive, or take a class of some sort, but hesitate to do so because they have no one to go with. Life.Is.Too.Short. Period. Yes, experiencing things with friends and lovers can be great, however, passing up these things because you are trying to avoid the awkwardness that may come with being seen somewhere alone means you are ultimately putting your life on hold.
What to do instead: Time to fold up and put away that security blanket. It's time to take that trip or class or whatever it is that you have put on the back-burner. Alone. Solo. Sometimes the best experiences come from doing thing on your own. You are forced to put yourself out there in a way that you might not if you have a familiar person to latch on to. Often times you meet new people whom you wouldn't have otherwise engaged. Pushing yourself towards this type of independence builds courage and building courage provides a sense of accomplishment that heightens your self-esteem. Nike said it best: "Just Do It."
3. Saying “there are no good men out there”- As frustrating as dating can be, this statement is untrue and counterproductive. There are good men out there and they come in all shapes, sizes, and creeds. However, when you are not meeting this person on your timetable (see above) or if you feel like you are filtering through a constant barrage of d-bags, it is easy to write it off as "all the good ones are taken." Be truthful with yourself. Does this statement make you feel good or does it just leave you more discouraged?
What to do instead: a) Continue to work on loving from the inside out, starting with yourself and then moving on to others. b) Enjoy life as it is, so that eventually your +1 is someone who enhances your happiness, instead of creating it. c) Be open to finding the love that you may not have prescribed for yourself. We all have a picture in our heads of what we want this person to be, and sometimes in reality, the picture looks slightly different than we imagined... and that can be one of the most pleasant surprises of your life :) Every person we date brings us closer to meeting the right one, so stick it out.
4. Sleeping around- Granny had a point when she touted that standard anthem of “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” You know the sitch: You hit it off with a guy, he meets all your requirements, you reeeallly like him,
