Top 10 New Year's Resolutions for Peace in The Year of the Divorce


To Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and all the rest of us regular folk who inhabit Divorce Land, 2012 offers a new year for turning over a new leaf in our dis-unions.

For those of us no longer married, if you share anything – children, pets, family, real estate – (but most importantly children), every year is The Year of The Divorce.

Divorces are as varied as the folks who get them. There are the Kramer vs. Kramer nuclear catastrophes that send aftershocks of heartache and pain rippling through generations.

There are the SBD types, Silent But Deadly, where the lack of any external emotion is replaced by a smoldering, equally searing silence. There are the middle-of-the-road divorces where they could have stuck it out but something turned the screw just over the edge. These people tend to manage well for the most part, with some predictable flair-ups but mostly they're civil and stick to the DDP (Divorce Decree Playbook).

And then there's my kind, where two people who love and (gasp) like each other deeply, did all they possibly could to MIW (Make It Work) but simply could not. You hang in as long as you can, so you can tell the kids (and yourselves) you made valiant efforts to stay together, and then finally you tear yourselves heartbreakingly asunder. You're exhileratedly relieved, deeply sad, damaged and broken, but utterly determined to do the least harm.

Where ever you are on the Divorce Spectrum, you can choose the higher road or the lower road. Every time. If I could be the boss of you, on behalf of your own sanity and your kids' mental health and well-being, I'd make these your Top 10 New Year's Resolutions in the Year of the Divorce. Say it with me:

In 2012, I Resolve to: Read: 10 New Year's Resolutions for The Year of the Divorce

Pamela Cytrynbaum

Check out: Woman on the Verge on NBC Universal's Family Goes Strong site