Top 10 Reasons I'm Ready for a Retirement Community

I know, I know, I’m not even 30  (but only a few more months – EEK!) … how can I be saying this?

Here I am on a Thursday night.  (Is it before 10pm?  Yes.  Don’t judge.)  I got out of my grad school class early so I came home to be productive.  Instead, I’m ready to get in bed, do a little leisure reading, and drift off into a peaceful slumber.


Not happening.

Why?   Because I live in the loudest apartment building ever built.  Hello builders!!  Have you ever heard of sound insolation?

My neighbors aren’t “technically” doing anything wrong.  The ones above me pace back and forth across their apartment.  Maybe they are trying to get 10,000 steps in – oh the CDC would be so proud of them.   My other neighbors keep the good people at Comcast in business.  All they do is watch TV.  Geez, people, read a book.  And really late at night, the pacers above decide to have heated conversations.  Their voices are muffled so I can’t even eavesdrop properly.  You would think that they would be tired from all the walking, but no; they wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to pace around a little more before they leave for work around 7:30am.

To combat this terrible first-world problem, I have the top 10 reasons that I’m ready for a retirement community.

  1.  It’ll be quiet.  I love quiet.
  2. They provide one meal a day.  Hello social hour!!!
  3. There is always a tranquil pond on the property.  I’m sure I could find inspiration there as I finish my novel.
  4. QUIET.  My neighbors and I will have a similar bedtime.
  5. My needs are taken care of: light housekeeping, dry-cleaning/laundry services, tidy landscaping, etc.  I’m not good with chores, so this is a really important feature.
  6. Plenty of parking!   Parking in DC is crazy!
  7. Planned activities.  I’m often down for a competitive game of Bingo.
  8. People would dote on me because I’m so young.  Who wouldn’t love that?
  9. Craft time!  You’ve seen my recent watercoloring endeavor, right!!!  This is right up my alley!
  10. Q.U.I.E.T!!!!!

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