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We've all heard them: the beauty fixes that promise to make you look younger!, happier!, more wide awake! Just use this product, the magazines promise. Just buy this thing. Just draw a line under your eye right here, rub, blend, dot, turn around in a circle three times, and sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Backwards. In German. That'll fix you right up!
Alright, so I'm exaggerating. But there are a couple of makeup tricks that I read about time and time again---and no matter how often I try them on myself, they just don't work. I'm entirely prepared to admit that this is more than likely due to user error, but I thought I'd see if you have the same problems I do first. Or am I just doing it wrong?
They say: Use a white pencil at the inner corners of your eye to look more awake.
I look like: An alien. Crossed with a stripper. Crossed with a person who used the calligraphy pen she was going to address her wedding invitations with on her eyes instead of her envelopes. I cannot get this one to work for me! In fact, it would probably be easier for me to just actually try and get more sleep instead of faking it. (Ha! Doing things the real way, instead of taking the shortcut---who'd have thought that'd be a better option?)
They say: Dark circles and puffy bags under your eyes? Dot concealer under them!
I look like: A person with a lot of concealer under her eyes. Seriously, I've tried so many concealers, and none of them look natural enough. I've dotted and blended and delicately patted, and I still look like an inverse panda. The best thing I've found so far is to use Benefit's Erase Paste, followed by a light dusting of Benefit's Powderflage Concealer to "set" it. But I still think it makes my eyes look a little crepey in the wrong light.
They say: Long-lasting lipstick is wonderful! You never have to reapply! Your color stays on forever!
I look like: A stripper. Crossed with an alien. Crossed with a person who used another one of her calligraphy pens (the pink one, this time) to line the outside of her lips and then forgot to fill them in. Does this happen to anyone else when they use long-wear lipcolor? The center part rubs off after a little while, leaving me with a nice berry-colored outline all along the outside of my lips and nothing in the middle. Frankly, I'd rather just keep applying my color all day.
What about you? Any makeup tips that are supposed to be fail-safe and yet fail you every time? Do share---if only to make me feel better about my shortcomings.














