Top Ten Reasons I Am Not A Racist, Part 2

Your are so right and in regard to all of it,,, As i said to you in my email to you you are not alone  You actually sound exhausted and I am NOT surprised why ... I must say having spent time state side i was genuinely shocked in the USA at how aware of difference as opposed to sameness in the other was so prevelant and frankly exhausting to witness .... America is at stage of witnessing it's self and what it thinks the other is maybe !! We can but hope that the world will evolve

:-)

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Thanks for the nod.  I loved this article by the way.  I remember growing up and having friends who would say things like "My grandparents say racist things, but they aren't racist, they're just a product of their time"  As if grandma and grandpa aren't able to evolve and control their tongue. 

I also love that the Justice of the Peace kindly lets black people use his bathroom as proof of him not being racist.  

It is amazing at what "I'm not racist, but..." can be used in this day and age.

I think we can break the "I am not a racist" group into three subgroups.

1.) The person who says it and actually believes it because they live in ignorance with a narrow view of the world. That's the Justice of the Peace down here in Louisiana. I don't think he's even examined what his words mean. He might change with a religious experience but no, not really. :-)

2.) The person who says and actually believes it because they've worked not to be "racist" and so they have a preset definition of what is racist. They don't understand the subtler racist thinking that seeps in from their subconscious and when confronted, their instinct is to say, "That's not me." These people, however, will think about what they said and try to be more in tune with others. 

3.) The liar, that is the person who knows in his hear that he or she is racist, that what they said was racist, but understand society frowns on racism. Talking to them is like talking to a break wall. They are like the abusive spouse who wants to define for the abused what abuse is so they can slip through the first loophole they've created.

I definitely agree with you that silence is approval.

And since you suggest people speak up, I thought I'd share this video with you that I found at  CrissWrites ( http://blog.crisswrites.com/2009/10/how-to-tell-pe... ).

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

I maintain that if your child brought someone of a different color home, and your immediate reaction is anything other than 'welcome', than you have to take a look at what your feelings really are and deal with them.

This is so true. Thank you. I think the average person, however, rarely steps back from her/his own behavior long enough to examine not so much what they did but why they did what they did. And some who do only look inside to find ways to justify unhealthy or antisocial behaviors. Maybe if we all encourage more introspection in our children and teach them how to put themselves in the other person's shoes, future generations do better.

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Thanks, Maria. He's still in the news down here. The couple he refused to married were married elsewhere. They are suing him.

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Thank you, Suzanne. The idea came to me while my daughter and I discussed the Justice of the Peace's bathroom line. :-) I think this man is not as malicious as he appears, but pitifully ignorant. Nevertheless, I agree with the people going after him. He should not be in any type of public office where he can yea or nay anything about people's lives.

Nordette Adams ( http://www.bookotopia.com ) is a BlogHer CE ( http://www.blogher.com/haystackprofile/viewprofile... ) & you can find her other stuff through Her 411 ( http://her411.com ).

Wow - thought provoking!

"...if people would do a little introspection before opening their mouths?"

Well, the problem with that, in my opinion, is that the people who articulate those thoughts and utter the "I am not a racist..." b.s. is that they truly believe that they aren't racist and they believe that they are right.

I live in a part of the country that is shockingly racist.  Not outright but the insidious power- wielding type.  I have a neighbor with a HUGE Confederate flag in his garage.  I can't even recall the number of people that felt that they knew me well enough to confide some disgusting beliefs, since of course everyone in the room was all the "same".

I think one part of the problem, and thus solution, lies with with me.  When I hear "I'm not a racist...", my stomach turns, my heart races and I try to figure out if I can quickly change the subject, leave, fall down and break a bone so that the conversation can stop and I don't have to hear it!

I am disgusted but more often than not, I am, embarrassingly silent.  Oh, that was gut wrenching to write.  I have rationalized that if I am compassionate I can help affect change with that person.

I tell myself that but my head tells me that my silence is read as approval (that right there, was harder to type than admitting my silence).  I often offer some sort of rebuttal, sometimes if the situation is really uncomfortable I go out of my way to leave the situation, but I very rarely say "That is uncalled for.", "Please don't speak like that around me." or "That's ignorant and offensive."

I can remember growing up and being told that people were just a product of their times. I never really got it because that would mean that people who speak up when they see a wrong were the exception, not the norm.

Now, as an adult, I love to see the hoops people jump through to prove that they are not a: Racist, bigot, sexist, homophobe, and on and on.

I maintain that if your child brought someone of a different color home, and your immediate reaction is anything other than 'welcome', than you have to take a look at what your feelings really are and deal with them. In a mutil-racial society (not quite post-racial), we have too many positive opportunities to grow from our past. I just wish people would get that and move on to the bigger picture.

Oh...and one more "I'm not": I once had a boss tell me that he wasn't racist because he loved Michael Jordan. Sigh.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Thank you, Nordette for this excellent, thorough and informative post and for putting the issue of the LA Justice of the Peace into a much wider context.

BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles ) PopConsumer ( http://consumerpop.typepad.com/popconsumer ) Beyond Help ( http://mariax.vox.com/ )

and even better analysis.  (Part 1 was one of the most painful things I've ever read.)  So not to focus on the humor at the very end, but I really loved how you pulled all of your extensive, thoughtful commentary into a painfully funny short list that any thoughtful person should be able to understand.

Suzanne Reisman ( http://www.blogher.com/member/suzanne-reisman ), Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender ( http://blogher.org/topic/feminism-gender ) Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com/ )