It always seems to me like knowing what you want will make things so much better. And yet, once you get there – no matter how long THAT takes – you soon find that knowing what you want is more like a first step in a process. And getting there is the real nightmare. I remember in my 20s when I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. If only I could figure it out, I reasoned, then everything would be so much better. I ached to be rid of the quest to figure out what I wanted.

For almost 15 years, Rody Alvarado Peña fought to stay in the United States. She fled here seeking asylum after suffering from horrific abuse at the hands of her husband. To save her life, she had to leave her two children with her parents. Her hope was that once she established herself in the US, they could join her. Instead, she found herself caught in a legal debate over whether domestic violence is a legitimate claim for asylum seekers. On October 30, 2009, The New York Times reported that the Obama administration recommended that Ms. Alvarado be granted asylum.

Once upon a time, a man moved from Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love, to Los Angeles, the city of every man for himself. Elliott is a doctor; he's attractive, well-educated, and a gifted conversationalist. He met Julie through JDate, the leading network for Jewish singles on the web. They went on several dates and soon Elliott was regularly spending the night at her place. He liked Julie. They were getting close and Elliott was imagining a bright future.

Today is the last day of October and of Domestic Violence Awareness month. Obviously in what I would believe to be a better world such an observance would be completely unnecessary.

There were some great posts about friendship in the BlogHer Sex & Relationships BlogHer Blogs this past month! And what I really love about these posts is that they feature practical advice and tips. For example, MaryanneLive asks, "Got Friends?"

The "immigrant experience"  is a phrase I usually associate with the U.S., what with people from across the world streaming in here everyday. A travelogue is what I'd associate with literature by foreigners from India. But the blogosphere is telling a different story. Many American and other Western citizens, who have either got on the love train or are riding the global economy wave that took them to India or simply love living there, are blogging about their experiences in a personal way that travel guides are unlikely to offer. Some are there for a few years.

1 Man, older and less educated than the woman 1 Woman, at least 5 years younger (be sure to check freshness date!) and smarter than the man 0 Couples of the same sex 0 Previous divorces 0 Cougars Place man and woman in same home. Stir. Voila! Enjoy your happy, lasting marriage!

Last year during national Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and I mean exactly one year ago on October 28, 2008, I wrote about one of the most disturbing cases with a connection to domestic violence the nation had seen in a while. A tale of horror unfolded, the murders of the mother, brother and young nephew of acclaimed actress and singer Jennifer Hudson. The alleged perpetrator, her sister's estranged husband William Balfour, was later arrested.

I'm not exactly sure why this is, but I like to read about what people consider to be deal breakers -- you know, when you meet someone new and you're trying to decide whether you want to continue seeing each other. Deal breakers are a lot different from our preferences, those qualities we look for (or are attracted to) in people on a recurring basis. We tend to know what our preferences are, while sometimes you don't know that you consider something to be a deal breaker until it actually comes up.

Ever since the HPV prevention drug Gardasil hit the market in 2006, I've been very suspicious. The marketing campaign says that it is the "only vaccine for cervical cancer," but what Gardasil actually protects against are some strains of HPV, a sexually transmitted disease that may cause cervical cancer. This is very misleading, not to mention that it is possible to prevent HPV infections through safe sex practices. What also got my dander was how quickly it got pushed on the public.

“What are you guys doing for Halloween?” I asked my friends Jeff and Bianca. “I don't celebrate Halloween,” Jeff said, rolling his eyes. “That's for kids.” “I hate Halloween,” Bianca piped up. “All the adult costumes are so trashy. It's become a one-night slutfest.”

The thing about unrequited love is that it makes such a great story. Just this past month I became obsessed with “Eastwick” – Which features, among other things, an opening storyline of unrequited love in a local newsroom. Of course, Will St. David returns Joanna Frankel’s love. That’s half the fun in Fiction Land. Two people who are crazy about each other – or will be once somebody finally says something. Ross and Rachel from “Friends” come to mind, too.