It was an affair that started online, one of those flirtatious friendships between people who live far away and are very different that turned into a level of honest communication in can be hard to have in everyday life, in real time.

I was raised in a traditional household by a stay-at-home mom and a dad who expected his dinner on the table when he got home from work. There are, of course, many often-discussed pluses and minuses to "love, honor, and obey," and a boatload of passionate opinion to go with them, but much like Christina in Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the thing I was most certain of growing up was what I didn't want. I didn't want a traditional relationship like my parents'.

Age disparity in relationships is nothing new. But this year has seen an increase in older women in relationships with younger men in movies and television, leading publications like Newsweek to declare 2009 The Year of the Cougar. For those of you who, for one reason or another, don't know, a cougar, essentially, is an older woman who pursues and enjoys sexual relationships with men at least ten years their juniors.

It is my belief that most Americans think that HIV/AIDS is now a global problem and almost eradicated in the United States. Sadly, this is far from the truth. According to the CDC, in 2006 approximately 1.1 million people in the United States are living with HIV and 1 in 5 are undiagnosed. Twenty-one percent!

So, do you do it?  Pet the mouse, comfort the kitten, make with your muffin, play with the little man in the boat, dive for the pearl, pleasure yourself.And if you’re in a relationship with someone else, possibly a fella, do you do it when he’s around, or just by your lone self?  Is this a hey, this is hot come and watch, kind of thing, or is it a “Damn, I’m tired and need to put myself to sleep,” kind of thing?

The answer seems to be yes. If it is possible for anything good to come out of the loss of Farrah Fawcett, it would probably be that it is bringing cancer awareness back to the forefront of our minds. She even made a documentary (Farrah's Story) of her experiences for that very reason.

I found some great sex & relationships posts in the BlogHer rolls this month about being strong and learning to stand up for your needs and want you want. From being selective, to being safe while online dating, and all the way to a Krispy Kreme wedding cake, BlogHers are figuring it out and getting it done. And passing along their experiences for all of us to learn from as well.

Did you know that men date women better looking than them, but never a woman who is less attractive than them? Did you know that this is the natural order of the universe? No? Neither did I. I guess I missed the memo.

Sometimes, I'm amazed at my capacity to still be shocked by the things I see. For instance, while seeking mindless entertainment on TV late one night, I settled on Paris Hilton's BFF. In this "reality" show, young women and one guy compete to become Paris's new best friend. (Because of course the best way to find a loyal friend is to pit women against each other, but whatever.) Mindless entertainment I sought, evil women bashing I got.

Sitting in the middle of my half-empty apartment, I take the knife and cut the tape on the next box. I open it slowly, savoring the discovery process. Buried in a sea of handkerchiefs, I find my top hat.

I don't have an orgasm every time I have sex. This simple fact has been part of who I am for as long as I can remember - or at least since I was 16. I don't approach sex as simply a vehicle to ride to orgasm. For me, it's so much more and it's enjoyable whether I climax or not. This works wonderfully within a long-term monogamous relationship where sex occurs frequently. Casual sex is an entirely different beast, though, isn't it?

With BlogHer '09 fast-approaching, join us for an introduction to some of the women who will be speaking at this summer's hottest blogging conference. This week's highlights: Twanna Hines and Ree Drummond.