BlogHer Topic - Career - Editor's Picks

Seven Tips for Mixing Business and Pleasure

avflox — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:15:00 +0000

Like any well-executed covert liaison, the office romance is both incredibly exciting and entirely mundane, depending on who is looking at it. And like any covert liaison, it is a very, very risky proposition. The number one rule, if it can be said that there is such a thing, is to avoid it.

But if you're like most people in the workforce, you know that's not always possible. According to a 2011 survey by the professional information site Vault, 59 percent of respondents admit to having a workplace romance.

Despite the downturn that has rocked the economy these past few years, 65 percent respondents said that they still had no qualms about taking romantic risks at work. Five percent, actually, said they were more willing to do, given the state of affairs.

"Office romance" via Shutterstock.

And of those who have indulged in an office liaison, one third of them got down at the office. Regardless of the outcome of their previous office dalliances, 63 percent said they would do it again.

Is this so surprising? According to Forbes, the average American worked 25 hours a week and took off less than six weeks per year in 2004. In 2011, the Business Insider reported that Americans now consider a 40 hour week "part time" and a sign of a stagnant career. According to the Center for American Progress study that the article cited, over one third of professionals were averaging 50 hours a week or more.

With so much time spent at the office, it's not a surprise how many people are open to the possibility of workplace romances. Unfortunately, policy hasn't quite caught up with the times. Most companies still have non-fraternization policies in place in an effort to safeguard productivity, workplace morale and employee safety. And there is the very real question of sexual harassment as well. But say you and a colleague are freely and willingly into each other -- how do you proceed?

Learn the Rules

Just because you're planning to flagrantly break them doesn't mean you should be ignorant of them. Every company has a different policy as it regards fraternization, so read up. Accept, then and there, the consequences of your indulgence. You may get fired. It's a real possibility -- as is having to see your ex every day at work if you should break up. If you're going to choose to take the risk, you have to accept the possibility of the worst-case scenario. Still game? Read on.

Refuse Perks

If you're not on the same level, establish from the get-go that there will be no perks to be had as a result of your fiery frolicking. Promotions and corner offices are not attained this way, so don't ask for them or accept requests for them from a lover. Do not intervene on their behalf if you can possibly avoid it and warn against it. Do not put sexy lunches, dinners, or trips on the company card. Special treatment doesn't exist in a vacuum; it can be a deadly tell-tale sign for other colleagues. Off to HR with you, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Make Some Rules

While you're discussing that your romance will not result in any perks, take a minute to lay down some ground rules about how you'll address and interact with one another at work, and how you will behave in the event that you run into some relationship problems. It is of the utmost importance that whatever you and a lover are going through romantically that you do not turn a personal problem into an office conflict. The sooner you can separate your work self from your lusty self, the better off you'll be.

Write It Down

This is the only time you should violate the rule of leaving no evidence, but it's especially useful if you have decided to enter into a relationship with someone you supervise (the riskiest office relationship there is): write down a simple contract that states that you are entering into a consensual relationship freely and that both parties understand company sexual harassment rules. Sign it, have your lover sign it, and make sure you both keep your copies somewhere safe and out of the reach of nosy colleagues.

Avoid Excessive Familiarity

This doesn't just include public displays of affection, it means any touching, lingering glances, and references to inside jokes or anything that suggests that you know one another as more than coworkers. That should be a given. So should a rule to avoid trysts at the office -- trust me, a nooner is just as exciting at a nearby hotel. On that note, avoid leaving the office at the same time, or arriving together. Avoid lunching together anywhere where you may be seen by someone else. Avoid each other on social media. And on that note: do not use company chat programs or company e-mail to exchange messages. You both have a smartphone for a reason. Use it if you must, but sparingly. You’re at work. Remember that.

Pretend You're Covert Operatives

Coworkers have a tendency to ask about everything in casual conversation and these details, even when few and far between, can work against you. Telling a colleague you're planning a much-needed getaway over the three-day weekend to an unusual spot upstate seems innocent enough -- until your partner checks in on Foursquare from that same location on Saturday night. Always work out independent cover stories for where you are, whether it's lunch or what you plan to do that night or over the weekend. Establish rules for using social media. The less you disclose, the safer you are. But if you have to disclose, make sure the cover holds.

Keep Track of the Details

Keep an extra outfit in a desk drawer or in your car in the event of a mishap (torn buttons and smeared makeup, anyone?). Keep some makeup remover toilettes handy and carry some makeup in your bag to freshen up. Other handy tools include a hair brush, laundry detergent pens to remove stains, -- not that I would know anything about it, but for Lewinsky-sized crises, Folex carpet spot remover is a life saver. As are those purse-sized pet hair rollers. Long strands of hair, like tell-tale receipts, are the enemy of secrets. And as much as you love his cologne and he loves your perfume, consider going without until you clear the blazing passion stage. Nothing screams midday romp like coming back into the office smelling of a coworker.

If it sounds like a lot of work, you're on the money. Messing around at work is serious business, so you should take into account as many of the variables as you can. Given enough time, you may choose to step up and fill in HR about the relationship -- according to a 2010 Careerbuilder survey, 67 percent of people in office romances are public with them these days, as opposed to 46 percent in 2005. But even then, remember: when you're at work, you're at work and professionalism is the letter of the law.

AV Flox is the section editor of Love & Sex and Health on BlogHer. You can connect with her on Twitter @avflox, Google Plus +AV Flox, or e-mail her directly at av.flox AT BlogHer.com

How to Ask for Feedback

paulag01 — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 14:35:45 +0000

Asking others for feedback can make your blood run cold. Most people are afraid to do it so they just don't. Leaving them stuck at the same level of performance and unable to address the voice of the customer (thus, less business). Read this article that details a very approachable way to get the feedback you need. It might not be comfortable but it is definitely do-able.

Asking others how well (or poorly) you’re performing can be a terrifying experience, but one that every interior designer, decorator, window treatment pro, and workroom need to go through as part of their design business evaluation and analysis.

Read the full post on Biz Of Design Tip: How To Ask For Feedback on Profitable Decorator.

Credit Image: filling out business survey via Shutterstock

Celebrating Milestones

paulag01 — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 16:06:35 +0000

As women we tend to be so busy working our way through the to-do list that we don't take the time to stop and celebrate. Then we wonder why we're so exhausted and feeling unappreciated. Go figure.

Do you take time to celebrate milestones and accomplishments? Or, do you just let them pass by with barely a breath before you're onto the next thing?

This week I happen to be celebrating a personal milestone - my partner and I have been together for 20 years - no small potatoes! And it got me to thinking about taking time to celebrate in general.

I used to always be so focused on the next thing on the list, getting more, and achieving more that I would actually dismiss what I had accomplished and what was right in front of me. I would literally pooh pooh away whatever accomplishments I had. I never felt good enough. Somehow, someway, I thought if I got better (at whatever I was pursuing) that then I would be worthy and it would validate my existence. Then and only then would I feel good enough, like I "arrived", like I mattered. You can imagine the death spiral this created inside of me, right?

It's worse than a glass half empty. It's a glass half empty with a hole in the bottom.

You know what? It's something you can never fill from the outside...

You can appear to be dizzyingly busy and line up metaphorical (and actual) trophies on a shelf, but it'll never fill that hole.

There came a time in my journey when I first did some personal transformation work and things changed. (This work would end up being a huge catalyst not only for my personal life but for me starting my business.) At one point I was literally asked to make a list of accomplishments. Everything I had accomplished in my life up to that point and and ongoing daily list of accomplishments (personal acknowledgments if you will). What a foreign concept, right?

Here's what I learned through that initially awkward exercise. I had accomplished quite a bit. In the absence of comparison to this person or that person, there was a sense of pride, progress, and meaning. In the absence of striving I could actually enjoy the journey and realize more of what I wanted. Seems contradictory but its not.

Another thing I discovered through this practice was that my fears of stopping to celebrate would result in settling or lack of motivation to move forward were unfounded. Quite the opposite resulted. I got to enjoy the NOW, feel a heck of a lot better about myself, and build a track record for future success because I was no longer navigating life through the eyes of a slave driver who could never measure up. I could trust in and rely on myself.

So now I have a regular routine of marking celebrations. From the practice of finding 5 Yays in each day courtesy of my mastermind group to weekly/monthly/yearly marking of milestones it has become second nature to celebrate along the way. In large and small ways I take the time to see what is really going on and be grateful for it. Whether its a pat on my own back, a Wahoo moment, or a more elaborate reward, it is a regular practice. It builds momentum, confidence, better results, and a lot more joy along the way.

How about you? Are you a task master? Or, do you take the time to acknowledge who you are and the results you create? Would love to hear your experiences in the comments...

Credit Image: pepemczolz via Flickr

Paula Gregorowicz is owner of The Paula G Company and The Intuitive Intelligence™ Coach and helps you learn how to tune into and turn your intuitive knowing into practical action for better results in your career and business.

Download the Free Report: Your Own Uniqueness: The Path to Purpose, Prosperity, and Playfulness at http://www.thepaulagcompany.com.

'Every Career Will Be a Career in Technology'

Michelle Rafter — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:00:00 +0000

This Week in Kaplan University's Visionary Voices video series: instead of fearing technology, embrace it. Watch the video to learn how.

If there is anything noted cyberculture commentator and Wired Magazine co-founder Kevin Kelly wants mid-life career changers to know it is this: do not fear technology, embrace it.

Embrace it because in the not-so-distant future, "every career will be a career in technology," Kelly says in an installment of Kaplan University's Visionary Voices video series. "There are traditional occupations that don’t seem at first to be about technology, but they're just using technology that hasn't changed in a while," he says.

Getting comfortable with technology doesn't necessarily mean having to learn "bits and bauds," but rather, learning new forms of communication, and learning how to learn, says Kelly, author of What Technology Wants. "Life-long learning will be fundamental to survival in this new era," regardless of your specific occupation, he says.

On the path to learning new things, it’s OK to try and fail, he adds. "You have to try stuff to find out what you can master, and in mastering something you’ll fail a lot," he says.

That should be reassuring if you’re a mid-life career changer testing different paths to see which one is right for you.

Watch the video to hear more of what Kelly has to say about the future of technology and work:

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Kaplan University provides a practical, student-centered education that prepares individuals for careers in some of the fastest-growing industries. The University, which has its main campus in Davenport, Iowa, and its headquarters in Chicago, is accredited by The Higher Learning Commission (www.ncahlc.org). It serves more than 53,000 online and campus-based students. The University has 11 campuses in Iowa, Nebraska, Maryland and Maine, and Kaplan University Learning Centers in Maryland, Wisconsin, Indiana, Missouri and Florida.

Disconnecting, Switching Off, and Rejuvenating

paulag01 — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:14:38 +0000

Between blogging, social media, work, family, obligations, regular to-do's, where is there time to just BE? To switch-off, relax, and re-balance. Read this great post about how one woman switched-off to turn her life back on.

On Sunday, I switched off. After I woke and checked the necessary things that I wanted to check, I put my phone on silent, on used my computer minimally, and then proceeded to stay in my pajamas all day long.

It was glorious.

Read the full post on Switch-Off Days on Ruth Writes.

Credit Image: cliff1066 via Flickr

Tips to Find Your Next Speaking Gig

paulag01 — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:56:28 +0000

For entrepreneurs, speaking is one very powerful and common way of becoming known as an expert and attracting new clients. If you aren't sure how to start finding that next speaking gig, try one of these tips.

1. The number one way to find your next gig is through a process my friend Jaime used to call “stirring the drink.”

Read the full post on Three Ways to Find Your Next Speaking Gig on The Invisible Close.

Credit Image: p_a_h via Flickr

Reduce Overwhelm with Sequencing

paulag01 — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:05:26 +0000

Overwhelm...who's NOT overwhelmed? That said you can turn down the volume on it and get more productive. Learn how sequencing is one tip that can help you do that.

Recently while speaking for one of my fabulous oil & gas clients I met with one of the leaders before the live webcast, we were discussing how she was an incredibly valuable resource within her company. Her extensive experience as an administrative professional meant she was the ‘go-to-gal’ for a variety of applications, processes and especially information!

After interviewing her we discovered her secret … it was her ability to sequence information.

Read the full post on Sequence Information: Reduce overwhelm and increase impact on Neen James.

Credit Image: Walk Stoneburner via Flickr

A Career 180: From Software Exec to Ranch Owner

Dina Bennett — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:00:00 +0000

Sometimes I have to pinch myself. This many years into my new career, it's still hard to believe that I'm living on a 2,100-acre ranch. That when I finish breakfast I will saddle my young horse and ride him along dirt roads dappled by shady aspens, with droopy-headed purple columbines and wild rosebushes abloom with sweet pink blossoms appearing like treasures in the tall green grass.

Horses grazing on the ranch. (Image: Dina Bennett.)

Not that long ago, I was an executive vice president at my husband's fast-growing software translation company.

Fast forward a dozen years and I've moved from software deadlines to nature's deadlines, from tearing my hair out over a sales proposal to picking hay out of my hair, from cleaning up project messes to cleaning up horse stalls.

In this, the final week of the Reinvent Yourself series, we're exploring what it takes to switch to a completely different career. Here's how I accomplished it, and some of the lessons I learned along the way that could help other career changers:

1. Life is a series of doors: When you find one, push it open and don't worry that you don't know where it will lead.

Dina and Magic.(Image: Christy Hoover.)

Thirty years ago no one could have predicted I'd become a rancher. I grew up in a lovely, leafy suburb of Manhattan, went to a West Coast college and got my MBA in Boulder, Colorado. I began a career in PR and marketing working for a Denver firm with clients like Marriott, Citicorp and the Denver Broncos. I wore strappy sandals and silk blouses for work, loved opera and traveled every year. When my husband, Bernard, launched a software translation company I applied my talents to his business. We were a dynamite combination. Though I had no technical background, I proved adept at convincing people to sign with us. Our firm grew from a handful of employees to hundreds. I grew with it, becoming executive v.p. and closing million dollar deals with the biggest names in the software industry.

2. Find whatever thrills you about your new direction and focus on that.

After a dozen years, we sold the company. Burned out from years of sacrificing everything to the Holy Grail of business success, I had no idea what the next act of my life would be. Bernard suggested we secure a large patch of ground, aka a ranch. My first thought was, "And leave my friends?" followed by, "What'll I do there?" and then, "If the place has enough pasture, my horses can feed themselves!"

3. Doing a career 180 may strip you of self-defining traits and provide nothing to replace them. It's OK to grieve.

The old ranch house. (Image: Dina Bennett.)

Moving to the ranch was difficult. For countless days I languished in a swamp of loneliness, boredom and regret. I had no friends nearby and nurturing friendships long distance was new to me. I was clumsy with tools, insecure with manual labor, completely out of my element with tractors. I couldn't square feeling so useless and incompetent with the 'me' I used to be. What to do?

4. Use existing skills and talents on your new path: it's liberating to apply them in unexpected and different ways!

I was confident in one area: horses. What does every horse without pasture need –- hay! I decided to wear my badge of ignorance with pride - there’s nothing shameful about being a novice. I gave myself permission to ask questions without embarrassment until I could rattle off a riveting array of facts on hay quality and nutrition. To my delight, the phone skills I'd used to sell translation services transferred beautifully to selling hay. I responded to every customer as if Microsoft was calling. When first-time buyers began asking to have hay reserved for the next year, I knew I'd found my niche.

5. You'll fail at some new activities, but that does not make you a failure.

At cattle auctions, I sat next to our local brand inspector and plied him with questions about cows that bordered on the ridiculous. Instead of feeling mortified, I laughed. Eventually we built a viable herd. I screwed up my courage and banished fear of failure to learn how to use the mini-loader so I could muck out the horse stalls without risking injury or death. I adopted a mustang from the Bureau of Land Management, taking many a crashing fall on my way to accomplished horsemanship. Through my horses I met a woman who is now one of my closest friends. I also discovered I had a small talent for making elk hide jewelry. I joined with some acquaintances to open a gallery -– no small feat for someone who'd never drawn a thing. My business background was especially welcome, and in the process, the acquaintances became friends.

6. When you change careers, you keep your good parts and discard, or at least improve, the not so good.

It took several years before I felt I was no longer embarking on a new life, but living it. During those years, I bumped into unpleasant truths about myself, including a nasty habit of being judgmental. But over time, I befriended truckers, hunters, cattlemen and loggers, people whom I would once have dismissed as not my kind. They showed themselves to be far more hardworking, curious and good-hearted than I had ever been. I had to humble myself in terms of competencies, as the success of my previous life meant little in my new surroundings and my new skills did not impress people from my former life. It me took years to accept myself for who I am, sharp edges and all. Now, no business card could adequately define who I've become.

7. You're bound to stumble, even fall. When you do, the only important thing is taking one more step forward.

On the ranch.(Image: Dina Bennett.)

Today I'm starting yet another career. I wrote a book about my unusual life that's in a literary agent's hands. I realize that striding through the open door to an unknown future 12 years ago gave me tools I can use to continue transforming myself for the rest of my life. Tackling something new, conquering uncertainty, reaching deep to manage novelty, reinventing yourself –- they're all grand and rare opportunities. Embrace the challenge.

Dina Bennett lives in Walden, Colorado. Read her stories of ranch life and her back-of-beyond travels on her website or Facebook page. Or write her at dinaxyz@gmail.com.

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Does My Employment Status Affect My Credit Report?

GLRED — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:46:01 +0000

No.

For today, a person’s employment status does not affect his or her credit report. That said, certain information ON credit reports affects an offer of employment.

Last week on the Today Show I heard this question asked during a segment about credit reports. The purpose of the segment had more to do with credit reports in general, so little time was spent on its relationship to employment. I’d like to use this blog to emphasize some points.

A “first” interview, be it in person or over the phone, will usually answer one question; is this person a potential match for the job? In other words, very rarely will a job offer be extended to you during the first interview. First interviews get you to second interviews…or not.

So play this out… You need a job, you finally get a call to schedule an interview, and now you sit in the reception area just minutes away from the interview. You can’t wait to get in front of someone-ANYONE- so you can convince the person you are the right person for the job, but before you meet the person who will interview you, a stack of paperwork is handed to you to read, fill out and sign FIRST. ACK!!

Yes, the paper work is tedious and somewhat redundant, but this is usually when you will sign your name several times AND give your permission to perform one, some or all of the following; a credit report, back ground and criminal history report and a drug screen. Careful not to let your eagerness to get the interview rolling prevent you from thoroughly reading through each document. You need to understand what will be expected of you throughout the entire interview process.

I emphasize this because discussions about credit reports, back ground checks, criminal history and drug screens are not huge topics of conversation during any part of the face to face interview process. The reason…well, because fine upstanding members of society typically pay their bills, have not murdered anyone, do not use an alias name and most definitely do not snort a couple lines of cocaine for breakfast. I am being rather extreme here, but you get my point. Bottom line you need to know if any of the above information will be factors in the hiring decision. More on this later…

Incidentally, these checks are costly and rarely occur in the beginning stages of the interview process. The checks typically occur around the time your resume and file are on a hiring manager’s desk, because your name is one of a select few who are seriously being considered for the job. This brings me to a word you should become familiar with during the interview process; CONTINGENT. Be on the look -out for this word in any of the paper work you read, because today many offers of employment are CONTINGENT on your passing a credit, background and a possible a drug screen.

I was privy to a person’s face book post and knew he had been unemployed for over one year. So many of us were excited when he got an interview with a large, reputable company. He provided timely updates on several interviews he had over a period of about one week and a half and eventually received a job offer from the company. We were ecstatic for him! The following week we learned he did not get the job.

EXPLANATION: Everything happened just like he shared and sure enough he received the job offer. However, the offer was CONTINGENT on the results of other things; i.e., credit reports, back ground checks, criminal history and drug screens. In his case, bless his heart, he had “blemishes” in certain areas so the job offer was rescinded. Yes, a company will take back an offer of employment.

Not all employers exercise these practices. You can count on all four checks from most financial institutions. I mean it makes sense for credit checks to weigh more heavily in the financial industry. As a former financial center manager, we did all the above. On several occasions, offers of employment were rescinded. In other words, thanks but no thanks.

So, should you accept defeat now and resolve you’ll never get further up the food chain than where you are right now? I vehemently say, “Absolutely NOT”! Never give up. There are proactive things you can do to help combat blemishes, derogatory information because really, who is blemish free from years of a sick economy?

I’ll share in my next blog.

Credit Image: fairfax county via Flickr

Traveling on Business While Pregnant

paulag01 — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:57:39 +0000

[Editor's Note: OK I've never done it...mainly because I have never been pregnant. But it would seem to me that traveling on business while pregnant is a special mountain to climb. I can remember BlogHer's Jory Des Jardins at BlogHer '10 just minutes (ok maybe not minutes) before she was due. What a trooper! Read on for some first hand tips from Liberating Working Moms. - Paula G]

Traveling for Work While Pregnant

Well, I’m home from my trip. And I survived.

But, let me tell you, traveling to a trade show for work while 12 weeks pregnant is hard.

I was so damn tired by the end of the show that I was extra nauseous on the flights home and almost had to use that complimentary barf bag for the very first time ever.

Read the full post on Traveling For Work While Pregnant Tips on Liberating Working Moms.

Credit Image: kretyen via Flickr