BlogHer Topic - Tech - Editor's Picks

What are You Supposed to Do with the C-Panel?

Virginia DeBolt — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:02:41 +0000

If you sign up for a web hosting account, you get this nice letter back from the hosting company that tells you all about how to connect to your server and where to find your C-panel. If you're a little new at the whole web hosting thing, you may wonder what in the name of cyberspace you are supposed to do with a C-panel.

Control by Chicago Art Department via Flickr

It's easy to be intimidated by a C-panel your first time to log in to one, because we live in a time when tech stuff is supposed to be user friendly and intuitive and pretty. C-panels are none of that.

In spite of their clunky nature, C-panels are important to you as a proud new owner of a web site because of what they do. Every hosting company doesn't use the term C-panel. A company I use calls it the "Account Control Center." Other places call it the "Control Panel." Whatever it's called, it's the hosting company's way of giving you a way to control some of the things about your account. Here's what I see when I open my C-Panel.

Image by Virginia DeBolt

Ah, you say. I see, you say. You can set up your e-mail address for your account. That sounds good. You can even ask for support, change your password, or pay your bill. But what is file management or database management or domain hosting management?

E-mail Management

You probably have a least a few e-mail addresses with your domain name. Use this part of the C-panel to set up what they are called and where the e-mail goes that comes in.

Image by Virginia DeBolt

You can see that I have 800 potential mailboxes with my account. Since I'm running things by myself, I only use one. But you can set up all sorts of email accounts: info@yourdomain.com, support@yourdomain.com, yourname@yourdomain.com and more. With my web host, you set up a new mail address by "creating a mailbox." When the mailbox is set up, you may want to tell the server where to forward the mail using a "recipe." I don't know how this terminology came to be, but that's what they call it. If you're lucky, your C-panel will give it a more obvious name like "Forwarding." Depending on the server, you may be able to get your e-mail directly from the server without having to forward it if you set up your e-mail client on your home computer properly.

Database Management

If you're putting a blog on your web site, you need a database. Use this part of the C-panel to create a new database. Usually all you have to do is click a button and the database is created. Take note of the settings they give you for it after it's created, so you can tell your blog where the database is when you install the blog software. You can create backups of your database here, which you may want to do before you update your blog.

File Management

It's awkward, but you can upload files to the server using this section of the control panel. FTP is easier to use, but this works if you need it. You can do other things here like set up new folders, change file permissions, and delete old log files so they don't take up all your server space.

Domain Hosting Management

You can take care of your domain name in this part of the C-panel. You can probably arrange new domain names that will be hosted under your main account too. This is cheaper than getting a new hosting account for every domain name you buy, and it keeps everything in one place so you don't have to keep track of multiple web hosting accounts.

Just Breathe

The C-panel may use some odd terminology. Just take your time and try to figure out what each part of it does and how it's useful to you. Then take control of the control panel. You can do it.

Virginia DeBolt, BlogHer Section Editor for Tech
virginia.debolt@blogher.com
Virginia blogs at Web Teacher and First 50 Words.

How to Blog (Better)

How to Delete Cookies on Your iPhone (and Why You Might Want to)

admin — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:05:24 +0000

[Editor's Note: I'm sure you've heard of cookies in your browser, but did you know you can have cookies set on your iPhone and iPad? Miraz Jordan from Mac Tips can tell you if you need to worry about it. -Virginia]

Delete cookies by stallio via Flickr

Sometimes Safari on your iPhone or iPad misbehaves and you might might need or want to delete the browser cookies to fix the problem. Here’s how. This Tip also explains how to definitively quit an app on iOS devices. Sometimes Safari on your iOS device misbehaves and the only solution is to delete the browser cookies. Here’s how to . . .

Using Public Wi-Fi. How to Protect Yourself.

allison_n — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 19:25:10 +0000

Welcome to part three of "Be Smart, Secure and Safe. A Guide to Managing Your Online Privacy."

As bloggers, entrepreneurs, social media and online marketers it's often we connect to public Wi-Fi to get work done, catch-up on Twitter and other things. Free Wi-Fi hotspots are more common these days. Coffee shops large and small are offering customers the opportunity to connect, more and more airports are setting-up complimentary Wi-Fi; same with hotels. I can't help but find it so convenient that I can connect at 35,000 feet above sea level (Thank you, Gogo!)

Wifi Area image: miniyo73 via Flickr

The New York Times reported last year about the increasing use of hacking tools, one such as Firesheep. Even the most un-savvy software users can benefit from such software and obtain our personal information. You can read about it here. It's important to keep in mind the suggestions for safe Wi-Fi use to ensure we're not unintentionally sending out personal information when we connect on Wi-Fi publicly. You may recall my post last year offering tips for using public Wi-Fi. I wanted to expand on this a bit and share some good reads I've come across this past year. I think you'll find these helpful. I know I did!

4 Safety Tips for Using Wi-Fi by Microsoft

6 Ways to Use Public Wi-Fi Hotspots Safely by CNET

Three Tips for Using Public Wi-Fi Safely by Entrepreneur.com

How often are you connecting to Wi-Fi publicly? Are there suggestions you can share that aren't mentioned above?

Google Plus Welcomes Minors, Still Has Issues to Resolve

avflox — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:02:38 +0000

At the end of January, Google's social network Google Plus quietly opened the doors to minors ages 13 and over. This is something that anyone managing a Google+ Page already suspected, based on the choices when creating the page to make it 18 and over. What users didn't expect was that Google+ would open its gates so soon, with so many issues still left to address.

Google+ moved fast before the announcement to implement a variety of security features to protect the new demographic. This post will go over these features, then list some of the outstanding issues that the network has yet to address.

Protections for Minors

Anyone using Google+ has the ability to select with whom each individual post they create will be shared. When choosing a post to go Public, however, underage users are prompted to remember that this means the post will be shared with the entire internet and that strangers may be able to comment (if they have changed their settings to allow this).

Prompt minors see when posting Public.

Changing settings can enable any user to specify who can see their profile, what specific parts of their profile are visible to whom, and who can contact them through the network. The profiles of minors are defaulted to allow only notifications and comments from people in their immediate circles.

The options given to users in Google+ settings.

In Hangouts, Google+ enables users to have live video chat sessions with a maximum of 10 other users at a time. Hangouts can be shared publicly or limited to Circles (pre-selected groups of people). Like certain house parties, Hangouts do not necessarily belong to the user who created them, so even if someone shares a Hangout with only a limited group, if someone in that group shares the Hangout publicly, anyone who sees it in their stream can join in.

To lend a hand with the issues that may result from a stranger crashing a Hangout where a minor is present, Google+ has added a feature that immediately stops minors' video and audio, so they can't be seen or heard. Immediately, a prompt pops up notifying minors about the newcomer and asks them whether they'd like to continue video chatting or exit the Hangout.

Prompt minors see when a stranger joins their Hangout.

Despite these strides in protection, several issues remain in need of address, both to protect the new demographic and to ensure that the adults already using the network can continue to share as they have thus far enjoyed.

Control

There currently exists no way for users posting about adult topics to do so in a way that prevents the underage crowd (or someone at work) from seeing these updates. Posting to a specific Circle can be useful in this regard, but that requires a user to Circle all the people that they think are interested in receiving this sort of content. That can work if one only engages with people whose content they enjoy equally, but presents a problem when people who are interested in this type of content add no value to a user's stream. Google+, it might also be mentioned, only allows people to Circle 5,000 other people, and for active users who have more followers than that, explaining that you can't add someone back because you're capped -- or having to remove someone because you need to add people whose content is more relevant to your online experience can be quite uncomfortable.

The solution I found was to create an 18 and over Google+ Page to share the content I think is unsuitable for minors. However, not all users are going to see the management of yet another digital space as convenient, raising concerns about a response from the network that promotes censorship over freedom of expression. To date, there is no word on whether Google will be developing this function, though when I posted asking for this capability, Yonatan Zunger, Chief Architect at Google+, responded in agreement that this would be a useful feature.

Notifications

While Google+ enables users to select who can send them notifications, the network does not distinguish among the types of notifications. As a result, if you want to allow the public or even Extended Circles (which works like Facebook's Friends of Friends) to send you private messages, strangers end up with both the ability to send you private messages and to tag you in photographs.

Because I write about relationships, I understand that some people may not feel comfortable talking about their partners in a public comment thread, so I allow private messages from Extended Circles. The downside is that anyone who is in a circle of someone I have circled can tag me in a photo. This seemed harmless enough until I woke up one morning, flooded with notifications from Google+ asking whether I wanted to accept the tags in photos of various men.

"Look at me!" photo tags.

It's an effective way to make someone stop what they're doing and look at you. But it's very inconvenient. And while Google+ has features in place to enable users to quickly flag inappropriate content, users are sometimes too fast for the network, enabling one to see herself tagged in sexually suggestive photos. I take it as a reassuring sign that despite 500,000 followers this has only occurred to me three times. Usually, by the time I get there, the image has been removed. I still would like the ability to change my settings so that while I receive private messages from Extended Circles, only people in my Circles (or even one specific Circle) can tag me in photos.

Pseudonyms

In the beginning, Google+ made it clear that it would be a place where everyone used their real names, the logic being that people are more civil when their real life reputation is attached to their comments. Problems quickly arose, however, as the algorithms and people involved in policing this "real name" rule began suspending profiles of not only pseudonymous users, but anyone with an "unreal"-looking name, such as tech commentator Violet Blue (whose legal name, in case you don't know, really is Violet Blue).

When my account was suspended for using a psuedonym, I lobbied that the policy was depriving the network of the voices of people who, for a variety of valid reasons (such as political dissenters who must protect themselves against retaliation, scientists whose lives are threatened by extremists who believe for whatever reason that their work is unethical, victims of domestic violence and hate crimes, etc.), choose not to use their real names.

My situation received enough media attention that my profile was quickly reinstated, but unfortunately, this was not the experience of a lot of other users. Eventually, in the face of mounting evidence, Zunger conceded:

We thought this was going to be a huge deal: that people would behave very differently when they were and weren't going by their real names. After watching the system for a while, we realized that this was not, in fact, the case. (And in particular, bastards are still bastards under their own names.) We're focusing right now on identifying bad behaviors themselves, rather than on using names as a proxy for behavior.

In an effort to address the backlash, Bradley Horowitz, Vice President of Product at Google+ stated last week that Google+ was planning to move toward a more inclusive naming policy on the network, adding support for nicknames, maiden names, and names in scripts other than the Roman alphabet -- all of which will now appear alongside already established "common" names. The message also stated the network would be allowing "established" pseudonyms.

There is no way to establish a pseudonym at registration. Usually, a user must wait until a profile is flagged before they can appeal to establish themselves. Horowitz also wrote that users who had started out using the network with their real names could apply to change their names to pseudonyms. He said:

If we flag the name you intend to use, you can provide us with information to help confirm your established identity. This might include:

- References to an established identity offline in print media, news articles, etc
- Scanned official documentation, such as a driver’s license
- Proof of an established identity online with a meaningful following

We'll review the information and typically get back to you within a few days. We may also ask for further information, such as proof that you control a website you reference. While a name change is under review, your old name will continue to be displayed. For new accounts without an old name, your profile will be in a non-public, read-only state during the review. Either way, you'll be able to see the status of your review by going to your profile.

The Google+ Profiles name policy elaborates on the things users can bring to the attention of the network to prove the name or pseudonym given merits acceptance:

If we challenge the name you intend to use, you will be asked to submit proof that this is an established identity with a meaningful following. You can do so by providing links to other social networking sites, news articles, or official documents in which you are referred to by this name. Note that this name and your profile must represent you, and not an avatar or other secondary online identity. Profane or offensive names are not allowed.

The policy remains confusing, however. While Horowitz told users to apply for a name change in his post, a Google spokeperson told Violet Blue that users who wanted to employ a pseudonym needed to apply for a new Google+ account altogether. This makes sense, as changing one's name to a pseudonym as Horowitz suggests will not change the name that appears on your previous posts. According to the spokeperson with whom Blue spoke (emphasis mine):

The original name tied to their Google+ profile will still be visibly retained. When you change your name, old posts and comments that were made with the old name continue to use that name.

Pseudonymous users who have repeatedly pointed out that other users with pseudonymous but "real"-looking names were still being allowed to exist on the network were unsurprised when further discussion with members of the Google+ team revealed that pseudonyms are acceptable if they look "real." While grossly unfair to brilliant commentators who operate under "unreal"-looking pseudonyms (especially those deemed to not have a “meaningful” following), this is good news for newcomers and minors, who may want to share somewhat publicly, but who don't want to be immediately identifiable.

Censorship

Google+ has always been very hard on nudity. Due to the lack of features that enable a user to mark a post NSFW (not safe for work), the fact that minors were poised to eventually be allowed, and possibly the way Google Search would eventually begin integrating Google+ updates in their results, the social network adopted a draconian position on content early on.

When Google+ censored the work of Paul Roustan, whose marvelous, intricate paintings use the human body as a canvas, many users joined together in protest against censorship. Eventually, Roustan's images were reinstated and Google+ changed its content policy to allow for posts and images that are "artistic, educational, or [have] documentary considerations, or when there are other substantial benefits to the public from not taking action" (i.e., censoring the post).

Previously, users were not notified when a post or image had been censored. Users would see some activity on a post or image and suddenly, despite ongoing conversation, the post would cease receiving notifications. Because the post or image was still visible to a user, it was hard to tell immediately that its view status had been changed from what the user selected (e.g., Public, Circles, Extended Circles) to Limited. This has become slightly less confusing -- going to one's photos tab within the network now shows a graphic that enables a user to locate images that have been deemed to be in violation of Google+'s content policy.

Attention graphic in photo section.

Notification that an image does not comply with content policies.

The policy, which is slightly more liberal, is not evenly applied, however. Profile images, for example, are subject to more intense scrutiny, as TechCrunch columnist MG Siegler found out when he uploaded a profile image showing his middle finger.

When Google+ photo manager Brian Rose was questioned about the withdrawal of an image I had uploaded for the 18 and over page I created on the network (which shows the middle section of a woman's nude body), Rose responded: "Profile photos are held to a stricter standard than photos shared in the stream, I believe because they may also show up on Google.com search result pages, other Google services, etc."

Censorship will continue on the network until a function is created to shield those who do not want to be exposed to mature or controversial content -- however educational or artistic -- and until controls are created to enable users to decide whether they want their pages to appear in Google Search, as profiles currently allow.

Response to Abuse

Last year, atheist and anti-censorship activist Brandon Campeaux quit Google+ despite his network of over 250,000 followers due to the number of death threats he had received for voicing his controversial views on the social network. Despite calling attention to the issue several times using Google+'s feedback feature, none of the accounts threatening Campeaux were suspended. The network eventually reached out to Campeaux and he returned, but to date no user that threatened him has been suspended.

What's more, Campeaux’s interaction with Google+ employees on the network about this problem eventually led Google developer advocate Chris Chabot to block Campeaux. According to Champeaux, Google+ community manager Natalie Villalobos blocked him as well after he criticized her for not taking down child pornography quickly enough.

This response is worrisome, though to be fair, my own has been markedly different: I find members of the Google+ team responsive and attentive to suggestions made by users. Zunger is very active with activists fighting for full pseudonym support, for example. Rose is quick to address questions about flagged images and bring issues to the attention of the photo review team. Villalobos has exceled in a handful of conversations about what constitutes a violation of community guidelines. In general, my own experience with people who are working at Google+ suggests that the people behind the network care about its users in a way that other networks simply do not, regardless of the missteps Google+ has made.

They illustrate a statement made six months ago by Google site reliability engineer Trey Harris:

I keep seeing people on comment threads about Google+ policy saying something along the lines of: ‘the service belongs to Google, they get to make the decision, if you don’t like it, use something else.’ … This argument -- if you can dignify calling it that -- is obvious, it’s facile, and it’s unhelpful. It amounts to telling the people you disagree with to just shut up. It isn’t a way to forward a constructive discussion.

Google+ cares about being the best social network out there and they should. There is a lot at stake for Google, which has positioned itself to bring together all the user-generated data from its services, including Google+, to improve targeting for advertisers. The question now is whether Google+ will adapt quickly enough to keep the users it has gained while attracting this new demographic of individuals aged 13 and up.

AV Flox is the section editor of Love & Sex and Health on BlogHer. You can connect with her on Twitter @avflox, Google Plus +AV Flox, or e-mail her directly at av.flox AT BlogHer.com

"I Was Crippled by Impostor Syndrome" -- One Woman’s Story

vaurora — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:01:19 +0000

This is one woman's anonymous story about Impostor Syndrome and how it affected her geek career. It ultimately caused her to drop out of a profession she loved due to lack of confidence in her abilities, when by all objective accounts she was exceptionally skilled. This story will ring true for many women in geek fields.

If you are having similar problems (fear of being exposed, feeling like a fraud, lack of self-confidence), you're not alone! Please read about Impostor Syndrome on the Geek Feminism wiki. If you have any tips on overcoming it, please edit the wiki page!

Handprints by viviamo via shutterstock.com

I don't recall how I first came across the Wikipedia entry for Impostor Syndrome (IS). I do however clearly recall the massive lightbulb that went off and the feeling of finally having a name to describe this 'weirdness' I'd always felt. There were other identifiers for various kinds of weirdness I'd always possessed. Gifted kid. Asperger's Syndrome. A nameless combination of both with a variety of checklist characteristics.

IS was something else entirely. The more I read about it, the more I realised it was exactly why I'd felt so afraid and self conscious to further my career, to 'do more'. I'd say it pretty much ruined my career prospects and further debilitated me.

My love for computers began when I was nine. I'm almost forty now and from the time I got my first computer I knew I was going to work in that field. I eventually earned a bachelors degree in a computing discipline and I was set to make that my path in life. I felt my degree was a waste of time and I only scored highly in the subjects that interested me. I walked out of there being mostly self taught.

During my university studies I worked on the help desk in the campus computer labs. I was one of a few females and I soon earned a reputation for being both the friendliest and most knowledgeable. Students and academic staff would specially request I assist them. Strangely, I didn't take that as a compliment. I just believed they were mistaken, for the work I was doing was just standard help desk stuff. I felt uncomfortable that I was seen as the go-to person for technical problems. And I thought they were all just being nice because they felt guilty saying the nice friendly girl was actually quite clueless.

After graduating, I got a job as a junior network administrator. My employer wanted more females in the technical departments so I could not accept that I was hired for my technical skill, despite my supportive boss telling me how well I performed in the interview and how good I was in the job. Within a week, I was given more senior duties and earned the reputation for being the new go-to person. I found this stressful-- I had to prove myself not only as a new employee, but also as one who quickly gained the reputation for knowing my stuff and sharing that knowledge with others. My co-workers in the tech offices had a reputation for being a little abrupt so I told myself I was only the new go-to person because I was approachable and liked to help people.

I learned a lot during my time at this organisation and earned a good reputation with many of the clients who would specifically ask for me when they had technical enquiries. I wrote a lot of documentation so that our help desk staff could become a little more self sufficient as they were frustrated that they didn't have the knowledge to deal with some of the more technical queries. One day, they asked me to conduct a workshop to help them deal with the more difficult technical problems. I was hit with a feeling of dread and that I would be exposed as a charlatan. I gave the workshop and then I was asked a question I couldn't answer. In hindsight, it was no big deal, I just didn't have enough information to give a concrete answer. Back then though, I felt incredibly small and stupid and like everyone had just seen that I wasn't worthy of the praise they had given me for my good work.

By now I was looking after the servers and networks in a second-in-command capacity. The senior system administrator was my mentor and friend. He was extremely supportive and we once attended a conference together where I heard him telling delegates (some 'celebrities' in the FOSS world) that "she's my co-sysadmin and she's damn good at what she does". But instead of feeling proud, I had a complete 'weird moment' where I could not understand why he would say such a thing. I convinced myself he was only being nice and singing my praises because we were friends. I wanted to hide under the table in case I was about to be bombarded with technical questions.

After the conference I was head hunted by some well known names. I declined every offer (some were very attractive, even double the salary I was on). I remained convinced I had just bluffed my way through.

I eventually left the organisation to move overseas with my partner during the dot com boom. I found a job a few days after arriving. I'd been a nervous wreck since being called in for an interview. Interviews, like exams, are terrifying for me. Having to prove what I know, when I'm convinced I don't much creates these mental blanks where I can't seem to retrieve information that is ordinarily quite easy for me. I was hit with the feelings of "I made myself look too good on paper, I'm one of those lamers who puts crap on a CV but can't perform on the job, they'll see right through me". The people who interviewed me were friendly and down to earth so I relaxed a little. Then they pulled out a laptop so I could show them my stuff.

I don't think I've ever looked at a computer with such fear and nervousness before.

I don't recall the questions I was asked. Something about filesystems. I mostly remember my shaking hands and wanting to run before they found out I knew nothing after all. I tapped out a few things and the boss said "wow, how did you do that?" After I got the job he told me "I thought I was pretty good, looks like you'll be teaching the rest of us a few things!" This filled me with despair. This time I convinced myself I'd only been hired as the token office bimbo in a department of eight middle aged males. They'd all been in the telco industry for a very long time and although they were all nice to be around, I felt intimidated and like I was about to be caught out as the office bimbo after all. I thought it pure dumb luck that in the interview, I was asked questions about the few things I knew.

I resigned from this job a few months later. The company had merged with another company and the new company made it clear that although they would not terminate our contracts, their own technical staff would do our work until our six month contract period was up. We pretty much sat there doing nothing all day. In the first week, I didn't have a problem with getting paid a lot of money to check email and play around with powerful machines. Soon after, I hated going to work and the mental toll of sitting there with no work to do became too much.

I found another job right away where a friend was employed. I was part of a team of system and network administrators of a major ISP. Once again, I was the only female. This never bothered me, my co-workers soon became my friends but I told myself I'd only been hired because I was female and the manager had a daughter so naturally that must have made him more likely to hire a female.

The job was fairly easy and nothing really challenged me so I decided to move a couple of servers across to more powerful machines and switch from Solaris to Linux. By this time, another female had been hired but I found her to be quite competitive and not part of a 'sisterhood' I'd hoped for. At one point she commented negatively on how I was moving files across. I had felt it was the best way to do it, now I had been exposed as a lamer who had no clue what they were doing. I went home down in the dumps and vented to my partner (linux guru). He told me I had chosen the correct path and her suggestion was incorrect and could lead to certain problems, which he went on to describe. Although I knew he was correct and I had chosen the correct course of action, I felt humiliated as the comment had been made in front of the entire team. With that single comment, I believed everyone finally saw I had no idea and I was just relying on luck and a chatty demeanour to charm my way through.

Shortly after this incident, my senior co-worker and I had to do some work in the server room. His hands were full so he asked me to do the work at the console. I instantly felt that debilitating fear, the kind I'd probably feel if I was about to jump out of a plane for the first time. He was there, watching what I was doing and waiting for me to finish so he could start doing hardware stuff. He asked me a simple question and when I went to type in a command to get the answer, my mind went blank. I was thinking "oh my God he's going to see I can't do anything". He told me what command to use. Of course, it was one I'd use one hundred times in a day but in that moment I could not focus. I typed the command and parameters in but I made a typo, typing in a o instead of 0. My co-worker pointed it out after I'd hit enter. It was just a typo, a genuine mistake, experts do it all the time. In this case however, I felt that was it, I'm done for, he's seen I'm a total charlatan and rely too much on others to do the real work.

When my contract expired soon after, I was offered a permanent position. By now I was crippled with the fear of being exposed (and feeling like I had been exposed) and that now my co-worker had seen right through me. I couldn't bear to work with him anymore, let alone face him. My partner told me this was crap, that I'd managed all the on-call work fine on my own, that I was very good at what I did. All I could say was "you're only saying that to make me feel better".

My partner and I eventually moved back home and we freelanced for the same companies. Sometimes I'd pass on the more difficult questions to him, as he had far more experience in those areas than I did. He had no problem with and it was the right call. However for me, it was all more proof that I couldn't cut it in the real world, I was too hesitant to try things in case I stuffed up but more so because a stuff up show people I was rubbish.

I wrote some technical documentation for an area considered extremely difficult. I got lots of email thanking me and asking me to write more articles. Most of the comments were along the lines of "thank you so much, this is fantastic work and helped me understand it so much better. Please publish more". I couldn't bring myself to accept these kind words. My partner had proof read my docs and had made suggestions and minor corrections. When I published the articles I wanted to put his name as co-author. He refused, saying he hadn't done any of the work and that it should be my name only. Except to me, he had done the technical work by answering my questions, all I had done was the filler work.

It had been put to me that because of my good work documenting this area, I should give presentations and workshops. I thought this would good in helping me get over my fear of speaking to large groups. Then I started stressing over "what happens if someone asks a question I can't answer? They'll see I know nothing and I'm just parroting information". And so I withdrew from doing anything further. I'd had a child and now did not have the time to do computer stuff.

I won't ever get back in to the field again. IS has pretty much ruined that for me. Sure, there's cognitive behavioural therapy and positive affirmations I can chant every morning but I have different interests now where thankfully, IS has not made an appearance. My experience with IS has made me all the more determined not to succumb to it in a new life-career path. It doesn't, however, stop the feelings of having wasted my life, having never amounted to anything in the IT world, having never done anything worthwhile in my eyes. I feel like I spent my whole career just fluking it.

Interestingly, my sister believes she's a perfect IS candidate in her profession (not IT). Her stress shows itself physically, such as vomiting and stomach cramps the night before she has to conduct training or attend meetings, for fear of people showing her up to be a phoney. She too does not believe her accomplishments are anything much, despite being highly regarded by every colleague she has worked with.

For me personally, I do not believe my IS started when I was first employed or in male dominated fields. I never felt uncomfortable being the only female and I was fortunate to have people take me under their wing and act as mentors. Rather, this all started from a very young age. I was always different in school, targeted for being the smart kid and wondering how I came to be on this planet. My efforts to fit in, particularly in high school, were often met with ridicule by the more popular sets. So I dumbed myself down and tried to fake it through. It didn't work at school and I spent all my years there miserable and bored. The words fake, try-hard, phoney, bullshit artist were thrown in my direction when all I was trying to do was be like everyone else (until I decided that was a waste of time and effort).

There has been a lot of research conducted in to underachieving children of high intellect. More research is now being undertaken relating to gifted girls who do not receive the appropriate support in their schooling years. I have read about some negative outcomes of such girls and I believe I tick the boxes and the loss of my self esteem early on certainly set the stage for my future IS. Throw Asperger's in to the mix and you'll quickly see just how much more support these children need.

Whilst I strongly believe that women need to be supported and encouraged in male dominated fields for example, for me I believe it crucial to go way back and support girls in early childhood. My school experience absolutely shaped who I became and this is a negative thing. It was not just the bullying for being the odd kid, it was also the way I was forced to learn. I was quite visual and school had a bad habit of stamping that out of me and forcing me to learn in a more auditory based way (although these days with technology being a common fixture in classrooms, there are more visual approaches). One of the characteristics of above-average intellect girls is perfectionism. This, and my resistance to appearing stupid, was something of a mental health issue when I failed to achieve the marks I knew I was capable of.

In hindsight, the method of instruction was the cause as I could not retain nor regurgitate the information in the way school or university, and their exams, required. This was a blow to my confidence, I felt stupid and angry that here I was, a supposedly highly intelligent person and I was failing subjects or receiving crap results. This is where I began to believe that people thought I was much smarter than I really was. Eventually, it formed part of my IS and my belief that I was fooling people. Even today, I am too nervous to post questions to technical lists I'm on, and I ask my partner to proof read everything in case I sound like I have no clue.

One of the worst aspects of my IS is that I really feel I let down women in IT. That by giving in to this fear, I was disappointing a minority group I should have advocated for. The truth is I am very uncomfortable with being in the spotlight, I have always preferred to fly under the radar and I figured that other women were doing such a fine job raising awareness and I would look dumb in comparison. This again is due to a fear of being exposed, not necessarily as a charlatan, but having been bullied made me want to run from any possible situation where I would be in the limelight.

I guess some people would read a story like this and think I should have received some kind of therapy. Sure, if I'd known at the time what was going on I would have done something about it. I was in my mid 30s when I began to investigate my own history, after my child had been assessed as having 'very superior intellect' and also diagnosed with Asperger's.

Had support structures been in place when I was a kid, I'm sure my life would have turned out quite differently. I did have dreams to do amazing things in the IT world but I was crippled by IS. In my new found passion, I'm determined not to let it better me again.

Finding -- and Sticking With -- an Online Community

dorkymum — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:33:24 +0000

For the first time in ages, I was having a wee look at my Flickr account last night. I’m not sure what surprised me more; the fact that I haven’t uploaded any photos since last July, or the fact that even though I haven’t uploaded any photos since last July, I’ve still had about 60,000 views!

There was a time, shortly after I took up photography, when I was never off Flickr. I loved it – joining in groups and discussions, doing basic editing on Picnik, and browsing those millions and millions of beautiful pictures. I got slightly obsessed about checking my stats every day, seeing how many people had looked at my photos, how many comments or favourites I’d had, and where people had been referred from.

But then, without making any kind of effort, my time on there just sort of fizzled out. I think it was a combination of things. I was starting to write more, so I had less time to spend playing around with photos – there are only so many hours in the day, after all. I also think that after a year of taking photos I was more confident with my camera and didn’t really need the validation of someone favouriting my pictures. And as I took more and more photos of my young son, I didn’t really feel comfortable putting too many of them up on a public site for the world to see (I still occasionally put some up on my blog, but it’s quite rare, and I usually try and choose ones where his face is not the focus).

Anyway, it occurred to me that it has always been the way I operate online - I throw myself wholeheartedly into a community or an activity and get as much out of it as I can, and then I change direction and I move onto something else.

Businesswoman image by ra2 studio via shutterstock.com

About fifteen years ago, when email was really just starting to become popular – when we were all setting up Hotmail accounts with usernames like SparklyCrystal83 and LittleMissSunshine2000 - there was a bit of a craze among my friends at high school for emailing around ridiculously long quizzes where you had to your list your favourite colour, favourite band and the like. I loved those quizzes. I’d spend hours doing them. For whatever reason, it seemed crucially important to know what my friends’ star signs were, whether they preferred jam or peanut butter; whether they were dog people or cat people, and who their favourite teacher was. I loved the quizzes so much that I decided to write my own one. It was epic. It took me almost an entire Saturday, and consisted of over 2000 questions. Salt or Pepper? N'Sync or the Backstreet Boys? White chocolate pretzels or milk chocolate pretzels?

And then, just as I was finishing the bugger, and about to send it around my classmates, my stupid effing heap-of-crap computer crashed and I lost the whole lot. I could have wept. In fact, I think I did weep. And then I turned off the computer and never sent another one of those pointless quizzes again.

Fast-forward ten years from then, and I’d just got engaged. ‘Hmmm,’ said I, turning on my computer at work one day. ‘I wonder if there’s an online community to help people plan their weddings.’ Well of course there was. There were several, and the rivalry was FIERCE! I pitched my tent in the least squee of the bride-to-be camps, took a deep breath, and typed a short introduction.

Thank goodness we only had a short engagement (sparkly ring in February, wedding in September), otherwise the monster that is IndieBride may have swallowed me for good. Apparently, since I was on there, the lack of forum moderation has seen the site descend into a pit of trolling, snarking and outstanding bitchery, but at the time it was a useful resource. There were people who had spent years – literally years – of their life discussing their wedding plans with internet strangers, getting feedback on everything from the colour of their invites, to their dress, to their table centrepieces. That obsessive element of it was overwhelming, and there was never any danger of me getting so caught up myself… but at the same time I was the first of my ‘real-life’ friends to get married, so it was nice to have an online place where I could bounce around some ideas without worrying about being a bore. I found a group of normal-ish folk to hang out with, and we all chatted about our wedding plans, and then we all got married, and we popped back once to share our wedding stories and a couple of pictures… then we were done. I’ve never logged on again since.

Having graduated from IndieBride I moved onto another online community, which bills itself as ‘A Community of Outspoken Women’. And again, it was a brilliant resource - the women on there, some of whom I know in real life, most of whom I don’t – are, for the most part, funny, smart and kind. They were a huge source of support for me during pregnancy, birth and the early days of parenting, especially as the members self-organised into ‘cohorts’ of mothers with children the same age. I used to sit, feeding my newborn son at 3am, scrolling through the discussions on my little iPod, finding great reassurance from the fact that most of them were having as terrible a time as I was.

But again, after a while, it felt like I’d outgrown the place. The members that I really cared about became my friends on Facebook, and the ones that I hadn’t connected with in the same way faded into insignificance. I don’t think I’ve posted on there in eight or nine months. I do think about popping back in occasionally, and may well find reason to do so sometime, but for now it’s definitely not a priority.

It seems like my online attention span is fairly limited. Some of that is due to the limited number of hours in the day. While it would be nice to stay connected with people on every network, and maintain every online relationship, there really just isn’t time. Some of it is also due to changing interests. It’d be a bit odd to still be hanging around on a wedding site nearly five years after getting married.

Right now I am really enjoying blogging, and for the most part have found the blogging community to be a friendly and welcoming one. For once I seem to be managing to keep my head down and avoiding the fiery internal politics of it all... long may that continue. More importantly, it combines every interest – I can post photos, I can write, I can chat to others with similar interests, and occasionally I can even do a daft post that satisfies the thirteen year old me with her very long email questionnaires.

I’m hoping that – at last – I’ve found a corner of the web where I’m going to stay for a while.

Make Google Reader Work For You

Nylorac — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:54:10 +0000

Google Friend Connect is going away. Consider subscribing to my RSS feed in a Reader so we can stay in touch.

I think I am subscribed to a 100+ blogs, and the number grows daily and will continue to grow as Google Friend Connect is going away for non-Blogger blogs.

When I miss a day of checking my Reader, it blows up and becomes scary.

Two hours after I last checked!

To make my Reader less intimdating, I messed around and read Google Reader Help.

I thought I’d share some of what I learned.

1. Set up folders for your subscriptions.

Setting up folders allows you to categorize and prioritize your subscriptions.

There is a small black down arrow next to each subscription. When you left mouse click on it, a list of options will come up.

At the bottom is the option to make a new folder. Once you create your folder, the feed will be placed automatically in it.

I have folders labelled First and Second. I read these two folders before the others.

2. Hide any feeds that don’t have something new to be read.

Similar to above, there is a small black arrow next to the main Subscriptions label. Left mouse click it to reveal options for ALL your subscriptions.

Selecting “Show updated” will only show those feeds that have something new to be read.

Additionally, as you read through your subscriptions, and an item is read, it will disappear from the sidebar.

3. Edit Subscriptions

If you need to change any blog names (not folder names), unsubscribe from a feed, or move items around to different folders, you can simply go into settings (circled in red below) and select the subscriptions tab.

To change folder names, or delete a folder name, select the Folders and Tags tab.

4. Set up Preferences

Under settings, select the Preferences Tab.

1. Select your language – I chose English, although one day I hope to be able to choose/speak another language…

2. The start page allows you to choose what you see first when you open up your Reader. I like to see what is in my “First” Folder, so I have it set to First.

3. I check off the scroll tracking, so items are marked as read as I read and scroll past them.

4. I prefer to see the navigation pane because sometimes I want to read a different folder first.

5. The Misc is personal preference. I don’t want to confirm something read once I’ve read it, it slows me down. I do like to see the Favicons because I can easily identify blogs with them.

5. Use Google Tips and Shortcuts.

On the front page of your reader, Google offers some Tips and Tricks. I read these little blurbs and learn something new.

I now use this button.

And I love using the Keyboard Shortcuts, especially j/k for item down/up, and space/shift-space for page down/up.

These are basics tips, and I hope they help.

Google Reader by Trevor Manternach via Flickr

Does anyone have a tip to add, or share?

What Is a Fair Price for an E-Book?

curvywriter — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:43:14 +0000

There is much debate on what is a good price for ebooks.

Many people think they are getting ripped off if they pay more than $1.99 for an ebook and really prefer to pay $0.99 or less. The argument is generally, “It takes no money to produce an ebook so I should get it cheap, or free.”

I wanted to reply to that statement with a small demonstration of what actually does go into the production of a short ebook. Because I am an Independent Author myself, I’ve chosen to use an Indie Author as the example. When publishers get into the mix, royalty percentages get much smaller because there are more people to pay. Also, because of how much short stories and novella’s have flooded the ebook market, my demonstration is based on the production of one short novella (About 20K words).

Let’s say it’s a short story and the author worked only 20 hours on it. And let’s only pay them minimum wage. That works out to about $145

Now, the cover, let’s say they hired 42 West Creative at $50 for an ebook cover. (A very fair price if I may say so myself.)

Then, an editor. I’m going to low-ball it and say about $50 for the editor, since we are talking about a short novella.

We are going to just assume the Indie Author can figure out how to format and typeset the ebook on their own (it’s harder than it may seem and many have to pay for the service).

So now we have $245 in production of this very short ebook.

Now, let’s say the writer puts it up on Smashwords.com (this is an ebook store/distributor. They all charge different fees, but Smashwords is pretty popular, so we will go with theirs.) So, the author charges $0.99 for the book. The author will receive around $0.59 per book sold (less for those sold by affiliates or through their catalog on other sites…but lets assume all of their sales are on smashwords at the higher royalty).

This means, JUST TO BREAK EVEN the ebook must sell a minimum of 416 copies! That is before any kind of profit can be made. This is also reflective of costs for an Indie Author. If there is a small-press publisher involved, the number goes up much higher because of more people involved in the production of the book.

These figures don’t even count the amount of hours put into promoting the book or the money spent on advertising spots and other tools to get you to know about their book.

e-book photo credit: Matt Hammond via photopin cc

These figures are also for a very “short” novella. Writers can spend 480 hours or MORE on a full length novel that readers till expect to get for $0.99.

So I have these things to say:

Indie Writers:

Don’t sell yourself short. Charge a fair price for YOU and the reader.
Make darned sure that the quality of your story and writing can match up to the price you charge. Don't give Indie Authors a bad name by putting unedited crap up for sale.

Readers:

I understand not having much of a budget for books and wanting to get them as cheap as possible. But please …the next time you turn your nose up at an ebook that costs between $1.99-$5.99 and think, “that is way too much for an ebook” think about the time, effort, and often blood, sweat and tears the author has put into giving YOU a good story to read. Do you really think they deserve minimum wage or less for giving you hours of reading pleasure? Do you think that because they derive pleasure from writing their job is menial and deserves less compensation than yours?

For a little more insight on the price debate, please take a look at my friend Sherry Ficklin’s post: Price Pointers.

DJ Westerfield blogs about life, books, writing, empowerment, and other randomness at The CurvyWriter Blog

Hint! Hint! Valentine's Day is for Geeky Women, too

Virginia DeBolt — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:02:35 +0000

Oh U Q T! B Mine. Yes, Valentine's Day is fast approaching and the women in the tech blogosphere have not let you down. (Or that significant other who might be looking for a perfect idea for you on the heart-filled day.)

Hearts and Flowers by Zanastardust via Flickr

In your quest for the right card, the right token of affection, the perfect tech-related love missive–check out these fine suggestions from the tech blogosphere.

Foreplay by app? Don't laugh. It might be just the thing. Get in the mood this Valentine's Day with Syncrohearts Love Game for the #iPhone and #iPad at My Journey as an iPhone Mom App Developer says of the game,

The objective of the game is to help couples reconnect and spend more quality time together. In the trials of juggling careers, parenting, life in general . . . couples tend to forget to take time out together just for themselves. Syncrohearts is like a relationship tune-up and it helps couples get more mileage out of their relationship by opening up the lines of communication with love, laughter and romance.

In the gift department, Geek Sugar has ideas for everything from candy unicorn horns to a chance at tickets for the premier of Hunger Games. Check it out at 19 Valentine's Day Gifts for Geeks.

Here's a great idea for a personalized Stickygram from Geek Mom. Act fast, because these take a while to plan and produce. They are a wonderful idea and something that will be prized by the recipient. Read One of a Kind Valetine with Stickygram.

Cool Mom Tech went all red, with suggestions for Red Tech Gifts for Valentine's Day. They promise,

For those gadget fans in your romantic life, here are some gorgeous red gadgets that will outlast a bouquet of red roses and trump a cheap box of chocolate any day.

Cool Mom Tech doesn't only have advice about tech gifts, they also can help you with cards. See Geeky Valentine Cards for some ideas.

If a card is what you need, The Mary Sue also has plenty of clever ideas for you. Read about them in 52 Funny, Geeky Valentine Cards.

So here’s more than fifty geeky valentines from video games, television, comics, movies, and more; some of which you can print, some of which you can buy; all of which you can enjoy and then have enough time to use later this month.

Tech Savvy Mama is affiliated with Open Sky, but you might be interested in the celebrity Valentine cards by people like Julianne Moore that she describes in Children's Book Authors and Illustrators Create Valentine Cards for Open Sky.

emyakindu made a Squidoo page of Top 25 Best Valentine's Day Gifts for Geek Lovers and I personally love the Self Rescuing Princess tee shirt.

If you have a great idea for that special tech-lover in your life don't forget to mention it. We promise not to tell them before the big day arrives.

Virginia DeBolt, BlogHer Section Editor for Tech
virginia.debolt@blogher.com
Virginia blogs at Web Teacher and First 50 Words.

Women in Games: The Escapist's Susan Arendt

candybeans — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 20:03:17 +0000

Welcome, GamingAngels (and now BlogHer!) readers! It’s time to start bringing you more Women in Games interviews. Why? Because so many people don’t realize all the different ways that you can work with games. You don’t have to be a programmer, or an artist — you can take your skills and make a gaming-related career out of it, and that’s pretty awesome.

Controller photo credit: ginnerobot via photopin cc

We start with someone who can answer quite a few of the questions I’ve gotten (mainly, how do I start writing about games?) much better than I ever could — Susan Arendt, Managing Editor at The Escapist. Not only will you learn how she got into this and what she does on any “typical” day (even though there isn’t one), but you’ll also find out about what she loves in female game characters (and you can view her whole PAX panel on that here, hooray), what she looks for in a good pitch and just what it’s like to be a woman in such a male-dominated field. Yeah, game development is full of men, but so is games journalism. Not really a surprise, right? There is also some puppy talk, because puppies are obviously the most important thing ever in an interview about working with games.

Enjoy — and learn!

There is a tiny bit of mature language in this interview.

Tiffany: What has your career path been like to get you to this point?

Susan: Well, I worked in the “real world” for quite a while before I ever got into this. I started writing on the side for a volunteer site about ten years ago and eventually became executive editor. I had a blog on 1up and was waiting for someone to notice how amazing I was and offer me a job. (Which actually kind of happened.) So I wrote for free for five years before I ever got to do this for reals.

When you started in the “real world,” did you ever see yourself getting to this point? Or heck, even getting involved with games to this degree professionally?

Well, I hoped, of course. But back when I graduated college (in the Dark Ages), you still had to move if you wanted a job in game journalism. And you worked in print. The Internet existed, but people maybe used it for email, if that. It was far from commonplace. And I wasn’t in a position to move to Chicago or San Francisco, so I figured I’d never get to achieve my dream of combining my great loves of publishing and gaming. But then the internet took over, and suddenly you could do this from anywhere. I never really thought I’d get to do this – but when I got the chance, I jumped at it.

So now you’re Managing Editor…that’s like…what? #2 in command at the Escapist empire?

Correct.

What’s your typical day like? Is there a typical day?

There’s really no such thing as a typical day! I’ll field pitches, edit features, oversee the news team, work on a review, if that’s applicable, write an editorial, if something’s on my mind, interact with the community, record a podcast. you get the idea.

Very freeform.

Very much so. There’s always loads to do, plus the regular nuts and bolts of training people, meetings, etc.

But overall just getting done what needs to be. Are things a little more difficult with the main offices in Raleigh?

Not at all. The majority of people I deal with, I deal with online, but other than time zones being problematic, it’s no trouble unless the person is in Australia or something.

And then they’re just on a different day and everything goes to hell.

Exactly! Fortunately, the furthest away my regular contributors are is Scotland on the one side, and California on the other.

A relatively small band of longitudes!

Yeah, could be much worse.

I do have to wonder, do you sometimes feel like you’re left out as an outlet because you’re not in the big hub cities? Or do freelancers really help scratch that itch?

Oh, sure. being so remote works both for and against us. On the one hand, we’re not in the San Fran echo chamber. We tend to think a bit differently than other folks because we’re not seeing and hearing the same things from the same people all the time. On the other hand, that also greatly cuts down our face time with developers and PR. We don’t go to the showcases and stuff, so we get left out a lot.

I’d hope that Epic wouldn’t leave you out. Since you’re kind of right there, haha.

Heh, yeah, they are just down the road. Insomniac, too, though I’ve yet to visit them. I promised I’d bring cookies.

Ooh, yeah, don’t go on that trip without the cookies, then.

Red Storm is here, too.

Now you’re just blowing my mind.

I know, people don’t expect it!

I was wondering if you had any particular opinions on outlet exclusives, as you can’t always make showcases and such.

I understand the business side of them, but they’re annoying. I mean, I get it – PR forms a plan and wants to make a big, focused splash. But I’d be just as pleased if they never existed. Yes, even if that meant we didn’t get them, either.

Switching to something else entirely — is it ever a little more difficult to be a woman doing what you’re doing?

Absolutely sometimes it’s more difficult, but the flip side of that is sometimes it’s actually easier. If you’re a woman writer in this industry, you will absolutely get opportunities simply because you’re a chick. Of course, it’s up to you to do something with those opportunities when they come along. There’s a lot of accidental misogyny that goes on, which is really not fun.

Some is not-so-accidental…but that largely comes from readers, not actual professionals.

Do you think that you deal with a completely different set of reader expectations as a result of your gender?

Yes and no. When I first started writing about games, 10 years ago, I had to prove to readers that I knew what I was talking about before they took me seriously. That doesn’t happen now, but I do think that some readers are just plain nicer to me than to the other editors on staff. Or maybe I’m just nicer to them!

Reciprocal niceness.

Well, cliché as it sounds, guys don’t tend to worry about people’s feelings as much as girls do, and that can come through in how you interact with your audience. They appreciate it.

So that definitely works in your favor. And mine, I guess, and any other woman who sets out to do this kind of thing.

It sure can. Of course, there’s the other side of it. There are definitely people out there just waiting for the smallest reason to call you stupid. Because, obviously, no woman doing this job actually knows anything.

Well, of course. We all just do it to attract lovers and titillate men.

Naturally. We’re all just in it for the attention, don’tcha know.

Because once that plain Jane turns on the 360, she’s suddenly Carmen Electra. Or some other, less-90s lady.

Yeah, I don’t know who the new hottie would be. Um…a Kardashian, maybe.

Yeah, I’ll just throw a dart at one and hope it doesn’t hit Rob.

So, do you think you work differently, or just overall see games differently as a result of what people would expect from you as a woman?

Nope. I do what I do, and I hope people enjoy it. If they do or don’t because I have certain bits in my pants, well, there’s not much I can do about that. Seems like a weird criteria to use when judging someone’s work, though.

When I first started writing, I didn’t use my name, or a picture of myself, because I didn’t want people to know my gender. I wanted them to like my work — or not — based on nothing but the work. And that’s still how I treat it every day. I am who I am, and naturally part of my perspective is shaped by my gender, the same way it’s shaped by my age, my upbringing, the fact that I’m from Pennsylvania…it all goes into making me who I am.

You know that there’s something wrong with a lot of female characters in games. To the point where you had the PAX panels on the subject. For people who couldn’t be there — what is your ideal female character, is she anywhere out there, and has the industry gotten anywhere close to creating her?

There are plenty of great female characters…well, maybe not *plenty*…but they’re out there!

I like different characters for different reasons. Take Vanessa Schneider from PN03, for example. Great character…super cool, total badass — and there’s absolutely no reason for her to be a female. Nothing in the story or the game mythology that says the protagonist needs to be a chick. Make the hero a boy, and all you’d really have to change are some animations — the core game would remain unchanged. But she’s there, because someone decided, hey, why not? That’s fantastic. I wish that happened more often.

There are some protagonists that should be male, and some who should be female. But when it doesn’t really matter one way or the other, I wish developers would just shake it up a bit and choose a female more often. Players don’t mind, I promise you.

Do you wish more games gave you the gender choice? Or is it that the ones that don’t just can’t fit it in the narrative?

Giving the player the option of gender choice simply won’t work in all cases. If you want to structure a specific narrative, you need a specific character — not all games lend themselves to the kind of open-endedness that lets you create your own protagonist. I won’t turn a game down simply because I have to play as a guy, but I do wish that some more consideration went into whether or not it HAS to be a guy.

I think that the perception from the moneyhats is that consumers won’t buy games with girls in the lead role, and that’s just selling the audience short. Men are smarter than that.

Well, okay — there are lots of great women out there. But what kind of female character is one you wish you’d seen by now? There’s a possibility that there’s not one.

I’m actually really looking forward to the Lara Croft reboot. Because she’s capable, but scared. There’s not a lot of subtlety in game characterization. You tend to have characters who are one thing or the other. They’re a badass, or they’re the ingenue. They’re the villain, or they’re the saint.

What I love about the revamp is that she’s still got guts — she’s gonna do what she has to do — but she’d really rather someone stronger, braver and older came in and took over. That’s not an option, so she buckles down and gets it done.

No one really ever wants to make the in-between for some reason, but humans are the in-between.

Exactly! I’m not brave every day, in every situation. I’m a strong, independent woman, and some days, I really just want to be taken care of.

So far, she looks like the “realness” injection that’s gone missing so far.

Exactly. But she’s not so “real” as to still not provide the wish fulfillment and escapism that a game should.

Exactly.

One day, I’ll stop nerding out over Lara, but I guess that day isn’t today, heh. Are there any characters that still elicit that kind of reaction out of you? Vanessa?

FemShep.

Ooh, we are all FemShep. What do you think of the decision to create an “official” version of her?

It’s equal parts fanservice and gimmick, but I don’t mind, because at the end of the day, they’re acknowledging she exists.

You deal with hundreds of freelancers. What’s the best way to make you stand up and take notice? I suppose in both good and bad ways.

The good ways are to be professional, and come with an interesting, fresh idea. As far as the bad ways go, coming with a feeling of entitlement, behaving like a spoiled child, or overlooking the fact that you are, in essence, applying for a job and should behave as such.

Most folks who pitch are just really, really green and they don’t really understand what they’re doing. Here’s a great example: I had one guy send me a pitch email that was grammatically incorrect — typos, no capital letters, no punctuation. So I rejected him. He replied and asked, hey, can you tell me why you shot down my pitch? I told him, straight up, your pitch email. If you can’t care enough to write a grammatically correct email, how can I believe you can pull off an entire article?

He was shocked. It had never crossed his mind that a “casual” email, as he thought of it, would be perceived as unprofessional.

Ohohoho, how silly of him.

People don’t realize that I’m not their buddy. I’m someone they’re asking to give them money in exchange for their writing acumen. They also don’t realize that it’s not JUST about how good your idea is. It’s about what I need at that moment. If I just ran two articles about Pokémon, I’m probably not going to commission your Pokémon pitch, at least not right now. Even if it’s a good idea.

So your advice to potential pitch-ees would be to pay attention to the outlet you’re submitting to, be professional down to the last comma and….well, is there anything else?

Be creative! For the love of little puppies, don’t pitch me the “why movies about video games always suck” article. Or the “how to get your girlfriend to play games” article. Those have been done to DEATH. What makes for fun forum fodder does not necessarily make for a good feature article.

Speaking of puppies — favorite puppy? This is very important. Very, very important.

Well…mine, of course. OK, she’s not a puppy anymore. She’s four. But she’s so cute. Half Golden Lab, half Whippet. Also, Corgi puppies are omgsocute.

And with the Corgi comment, you just passed the test I made up just now.

Hooray!

Have I left anything out not related to puppies that you’d have wanted to talk about? Favorite game, mayhaps?

Adopt from your local shelter! Sorry, last puppy comment. And I can’t possibly pick a favorite game. Too many that I love for so many reasons.

Quite acceptable.

I love Phantasy Star Online and Yoshi’s Island and Silent Hill and Oblivion and Grandia II and TimeSplitters 2 and Professor Layton and so many others.

Do you have any advice for women who are looking to get into writing about games?

Be confident. Find a mentor, if you can, or just a sisterhood to help you on the days you need a gut check. Just get out and DO IT. And if someone makes you feel like you don’t belong, ignore them or tell them to shut the f*ck up — whichever you feel is more appropriate to the environment.

It is not easy to be the only girl in the room. It can be, at times, very uncomfortable. But it’s so worth it, man, it really, really is. You have the chance to inspire others. Take it.

Tiffany Nevin is the News Editor at GamingAngels.com, which is the Web's #1 destination for women who love all things geeky. She lives in Alabama with her husband and two cats. You can follow her on Twitter (though you probably don't want to) at @kweenie.