Totally Inappropriate Baby Halloween Costumes

I’ll never grow up if I have it my way. I’m more excited about Halloween this year than a six-year-old waiting up for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. During the Halloween festivities last year, Danny was still a wee midget man at just five months old. We dressed him in the hairiest and scariest ape suit we could find…unfortunately, my little monkey man was still too young to participate in the community-wide candy smash and grab.

Danny's first Halloween

This year, it’s game on. Mommy is fat and pregnant and craving Snickers bars, so junior must be dressed to impress to reel in the most candy. It’s just business.

I started flipping through store flyers, catalogs and Halloween store websites in early September, eager to find the perfect costume for my little big man. Call me a perfectionist – but after a month of searching, all I found were 13 baby and toddler costumes certain to have the neighbors talking – and perhaps phoning the naughty parent police...

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