As I scan the internet, I see that we can train our cats, train our infants months after they are born, teach our birds to mimic our conversations, train our houses to activate themselves to the right temperature, instruct others how to treat us, teach our bosses manners or boundaries or organization, conquer our hair, hault aging. It is frightening how much control that the "matrix" tells us we should assume.

The illusion of control is one that attracts attention and funding. But there are a group of people that are now floating loose from their moorings. They have lost much of their definition of what and who they are. The marriage, the body, the finances, the job, the home, members of their families have all dissolved and become mere vapour. The feeling is like wearing a space suit, seeing the line tethering the body to a "mother ship" but not being able to reach it. Yes there are the minimal support systems in place but the anxiety about detaching all together is such a person can hear his or her own breath.

When students graduate from high school and are unclear about the next step to "success" or placement in the society, they have at times taken a gap year. Strangely enough most people I know are now in the void. Unplanned, the forces of economy, or society, or the universe have come like a flood and dislodged them.

Unlike in times past most of these people are sitting in the void. They are not rushing back into the flowing mud hoping to find a foothold. The only focus that I and most of my friends are concerned with right now is on silence. Sitting in it, feeling it, waiting. Meditative practice, walks in nature, talking openly and kindly to those who can offer understanding and support are becoming the activities that help during this gap year.

We are no longer under the delusion that we can control the universe, that we can vacuum all chaos up some magic nozzle. The loss, the grief is breaking hearts open and sending so many I know to look for a grounding in spirit. In answer to "What are you going to do?" most of us are saying "sit. be still. pray."


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