Tripping The Prom Queen


“How nice it must be to be a man.”  I’ll admit that thought has crossed my mind, but only a handful of times:  about once a month and the three times I found myself in full throttle pain after childbirth.  Other than that though, I enjoy being a woman.   I have a good life and a good bunch of girl friends but lately I’ve been finding myself asking: 

“What is it with women anyway?”  


Why does it seem that when one of us loses weight, gets a promotion, gets a new car, has a good relationship with our spouse, there’s always a woman (more likely wo-men) that are talking about us behind our backs? They are at the ready to negate any “good thing” we have or have done.  They are ready to “trip” us.  In her book, “Tripping The Prom Queen” Susan Shapiro-Barash states, “more than 90% of women of different social status, claim that jealousy and envy of other women is prevalent in their lives.”  Ouch.




I’ve witnessed it at the gym, at my kids’ schools, while getting my hair done.  Just about everywhere.  I’m not about to tell you that I haven’t participated in the gossip that goes on during lunches or nights out with the girls. But why does it seem that for the most part, women are secretly happy to hear of others downfalls and misfortunes?  Apparently Gore Vidal was on to something when he said, “It is not enough for us to succeed. Others must fail as well for us to be happy.”   What a downer.... 


Before everyone jumps down my throat telling me that I am generalizing, I am certainly aware that not ALL women feel or act this way.  I’ve come across a rare breed of women that are genuinely happy for others successes.  I will point out though, that this is a very small species.  These particular women share a common trait: they are self assured and self-confident.  There is no evidence of low self-esteem or self-loathing.  They don’t get distracted by jealousy and envy and forget to focus on their own lives.  They get it.  They get that the only life that matters is their own and they focus on  how to make it better and not  on how to make some else’s miserable.  They look for similarities in other women and make good connections.  


When women put their heads together, powerful things can happen.  They can choose to keep their friends and sisters down in the trenches or something way more powerful: they can build them up!





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