The Trouble in Town
It always surprises me how many people live in the towns where they grew up. I'm kinda jealous.
I am a Yankee Gone South. I was born in Anchorage, grew up in Ohio, and have lived in TN for about 20 years now. I belong here.
I am home.
There are so many people here in this small country town where I am, that have been here all their lives. They go to church with most of their family. Which hinders my ability to become very involved in any church around here because THE WHOLE CHURCH IS RELATED! No matter how welcoming they seem at first, eventually it becomes very clear, that we are not Family. (I'll save that for another post all together).
Sad, But true.
I often wonder what it's like to be driving to the store, or where ever, and drive thru the streets of my old stomping ground. To run into an old classmate at a basketball game, or even knowing "who is who" when my daughter makes a new friend at school.
Which is the reason for today's rambling.
Because I am not from here, and don't have the luxury of knowing ALL the parents of my kids friends, it's puts me at a real disadvantage.
We all know that you can only believe 1/2 of what you hear when it comes to gossip. Probably not even that much. But what about the other 1/2? The stuff you should take with a grain of salt?
There is some benefit of knowing who is up to what.
I did some snooping around and found out that my daughter has indeed started to fall in with a "bad" crowd. But how do I find out for sure? How do I find out if these kids or "undesirable" or just misunderstood? I have tried interacting with their parents, in order to get a window into their lives, values etc..., but have found out that the parents are often time clueless of what their kids are doing. A lot of kids are leading double lives. They are one person at home, and someone entirely different when away from watchful eyes.
However......other parents know what those kids are doing. Where are they at? And how do I juice their brain about what they know?
I DO know a few people. My closest friends don't know the people I need them to. They are clueless. And the people I know a little who would know, I'm not sure I can ask. They are probably related!
Don't get me wrong. I know the first line of defense is my communication with my daughter. But unless you have been living under a rock, you should know young teenage girls are very self-absorbed and not so open with their parents about "everything". She's open with me, Unless is stands to put a kink in her agenda.
I don't have much of a plan at this point. It's kind of a new development. But I will be speaking with my hairdresser this week, so maybe I'll know more about these kids.
Untill then, if you want to speak to my daughter, your out of luck. I locked her in her bedroom until I get the low down on her new-found clique.
How do you screen who your kids hang out with?
Or do you at all?