True Confessions of a Midlife Blogger
by midlifemuse

I've been thinking all week about what I wanted to write to you in this--my first post as a contributing editor on midlife issues at Blogher. Oh, I've got a boatload of topics I'm dying to get your opinions on.

But it struck me that instead of writing something deep and thought-provoking, I should first give you a chance to get to know me. I mean, it's like walking into a room full of people you don't know and starting to talk about something without introducing yourself. Not the way I like to build lasting relationships -- in person or online.

So as I join you here in the amazing BlogHer community, I thought it’d be fun to share some info about me -- my list of "true confessions". I hope you'll share back some things about you and know that I'm really looking forward to many great dialogs about our journey through midlife.

  1. My favorite holiday is Christmas.
  2. I just turned 57 on June 8.
  3. I am the oldest child of 3 children in my family. I used to tell everyone that my sister is the oldest. Funny how our years of sibling rivalry have now mellowed into a wonderful friendship.
  4. There’s a movie about the year I graduated from high school—1969.
  5. My 40th high school reunion is next year -- OMG! I thought the 20th was a huge milestone.
  6. My favorite dessert is a Sanders hot fudge cream puff with vanilla ice cream (not frozen yogurt, thank you).
  7. My cat is Coco Puff. She's a Bengal and is spotted like a leopard.
  8. I’m arachnophobia --- big time. When I was a kid, everyone in our household knew if they heard a scream that it was mostly like me so come and get rid of the spider.
  9. I love to garden. To me, my garden is the metaphor for my midlife -- not a place to rush around, a place for discovery and renewal, a place to be creative, a place where everything happens in its own time and a place where you can start all over if something you planted doesn't work out.
  10. I'm learning to knit. It's another creative outlet for my midlife. My goal is be a good knitter by the time I have grandchildren.
  11. My 32 year old son, Chip and daughter-in-law Kim are the recipients of my vision for grandchildren. No pressure, of course.
  12. My son, an IT professional now tells people his mom is a blogger. I think it got me 3 cool points with him -- which you know is hard to do with your adult children!
  13. I've probably seen the “Wizard of Oz” 45 times in my life.
  14. I was a flying monkey in my elementary school’s production of the Wizard of Oz -- a huge disappointment given that I desperately wanted to be Dorothy. I now have red-sequined Converse sneakers--ruby slippers for the 21st century.
  15. My first car was a red Pinto that luckily didn’t blow up. My sister felt the same way since she got the car as a hand-me-down from me.
  16. Spring and fall are my favorite seasons.
  17. My first major in college was anthropology. My dad asked me if I could go into something where I could get a real job at the end of the process. He wasn't impressed when I switched to psych. I have a BA in psychology and a law degree. And yes I’ve heard all the attorney jokes -- even the one about the attorney and the sharks.
  18. I've "recovered" from careers in law and corporate America.
  19. My favorite color is red. It's the color of my living room.
  20. On the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator I'm an ENFP—a way-out-there extrovert, very intuitive, feeling, perceiving person. As an extrovert, I get my energy from outside myself--like from all of you. My strong intuition or gut reaction is a real gift -- when I listen to it.
  21. My personality type is rare—only 7% of the population.
  22. My blood type is rare too—A negative.
  23. I have a Facebook page.
  24. I have no musical abilities whatsoever. I think my parents secretly left the house when I practiced my violin. I felt like leaving too.
  25. I love to read and hang out in bookstores.
  26. My best friend and I met 50 years ago. We've been friends ever since. She was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's at age 55. I'm just getting so I can write about this but I promise we'll dialog here about this devastating disease and its impact on family and friends.
  27. I have a 4 year old niece, the "Peanut". She inspires me in so many ways especially on how to use imagination to create the reality you really want. The Peanut does it so effortlessly. I'm taking notes.
  28. My father is deceased and my mother is 89 years old. Mom has dementia and is in assisted living. She inspires me to learn and write about the issue of caregiving that looms as a major crisis for those of us in midlife.
  29. I remembered exactly what I was doing when I heard that JFK was assassinated.
  30. I heard a young Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. give his “I Have A Dream” speech in Detroit in 1963. His words echoed around the world when he later gave the same speech on the Mall in Washington, D.C.
  31. I grew up in Detroit in the heyday of Motown. It's the foundation of my appreciation of all kinds of music. I saw all the Motown groups live in concert, saw the Beatles on their first world tour and Jimi Hendrix in concert in 1968 -- the highlights of my personal concert series.
  32. I have seen every episode of the original “Star Trek” series at least twice.
  33. I meditate. My favorite guided meditation is a CD from mindfulness meditation teacher and healer, Teri Racey.
  34. Midlife -- and blogging -- have made me into a night person.
  35. I love Paris and Martha’s Vineyard.
  36. I hate the smell of gasoline.
  37. I have hot flashes -- still.
  38. I have been married twice. Both of my husbands were named “Charles”. As you might imagine, my friends and family don’t let me talk to men named “Charles” anymore, except my son.
  39. I want to be cremated.
  40. I always cry buckets during the last scene of “The Color Purple”.
  41. I’m allergic to scallops.
  42. I had LASIK eye surgery 8 years ago and every morning I can see the alarm clock is a miracle.
  43. I love to tell stories about anything and everything. You'll see that reflected in my posts.
  44. I believe in past lives.
  45. I’m a liberal Democrat.
  46. I believe that midlife isn't about finding yourself -- it's about creating yourself.
  47. I love blogging. It's my midlife miracle.
  48. A year ago I didn’t know what a blog was. But over this past year, I found my voice in a way I've never experienced. Maybe it's midlife and blogging combined that have gotten me to the point I say what I mean and mean what I say -- both online and off.
  49. I'm creating friendships with some of the wonderful people I've met in the blogosphere like Allison Allen over at Women Bloom.com and Jane Gassner at Midlife Bloggers.com . And for those of you headed out to San Francisco for BlogHer '08, Jane has pulled together a meet-up for midlife bloggers next Friday, July 18 from 1:30 to 2:10. Stop by and take advantage of the opportunity to build some offline relationships. Look for more details at the conference.
  50. I can't wait until July 25 when I see you here again!

Contributing Editor Karen Batchelor is a certified professional coach devoted to helping midlife women create their roadmap to the better half of life. Visit her at Midlife's A Trip and pick up the free, interactive wheel of life for a "snapshot" on how your midlife is going.

Submitted by midlifemuse (view blog) on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 14:47

Comments

 

Oh Boy!

As I read your list, I kept saying, "Me too! Me too!". Just a few things we have in common: blood type, cremation, mom in assisted living, JFK assassination memory, LASIK, hot flashes, being a liberal Democrat, Star Trek (mostly), NF (I'm an IJ though), blogging, Facebook, Paris, bookstores, arachnophobia, and Pintos. I'm sure there's more!

I'm really glad to "meet" you and look forward to your posts. 

 The Blog: Red Nose The Book: Girl Clown

Submitted by maryrwise on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 12:25
 

We Survived

Glad to meet another Pinto survivor, maryrwise.  Weren't we lucky!  And do we have lots in common--Paris, bookstores and being liberal Dems might be the high points.  And as a spider-phobic, do you remember the scene with Diane Keaton in Annie Hall -- well that's me.  It's so good to meet you and if there are topics you'd like me to raise for our midlife discussion, let me know.

Karen

 

Submitted by midlifemuse on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 13:29
 

Congrats Karen!

Congratulations on your new digs as CE at BlogHer. Between your presence here and at Midlife's a Trip, Allison's WomenBloom and Jane's Midlifebloggers, we midlifers are totally representin'! 

 

Margaret

Nanny Goats In Panties (www.nannygoatsinpanties.com)

Submitted by nannygoats on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 13:07
 

A Familiar Voice

Margaret--

It's good to see you here and thanks for the warm welcome.  You know the title of your blog is one that always makes me smile -- smiling now and looking forward to seeing you here often! 

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 13:33
 

Sister, Sista...

OK so how old do you have to be to be in the midlife club?  I am 45 with a bullet baby!

We love the same things...which is freakish!

I am ENFJ...highly intuitive! I too am a liberal demorcrat!  I am getting divorced for the 1st time, but the new man I am seeing name ryhmes with my soon-to-be ex husband.  This cracks my family up!

I will find you at Blogher...at the very least I can buy you a drink at the bar! 

 

Love,

Babz

Submitted by Lovebabz on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 13:14
 

Midlife's In the Mind of the Beholder

Babz--

Thanks for my first question.  Officially the baby boomers are ages 44-64.  I don't particularly like being called a boomer so I refer to our age group as being in "midlife".  But I also think midlife is a state of mind--unlike my parents' generation there's no line in the sand where you're young on one side and old on the other.  Personally I plan to be in midlife until I'm 80 so if you join in at 45 you can hang out with me for a good many years! 

I'm laughing as I read how we have so have so many things in common.  Just don't let your family talk to mine because they might try to commit you for dating someone with a name that rhymes with the almost ex. 

Unfortunately I'm not going to be at BlogHer '08 because I'm headed on already planned vacation with my 4 year old niece, the "Peanut" who by the way is the adopted daughter of my 53 year old sister.  We call her "Meno Mom".  But give me a rain check for the drink and I'll take you up on it next go round.  Have fun at the conference and I look forward to hearing your voice here.

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 13:47
 

Ruby slippers for the 21st century

What a terrific description. Welcome Karen! I so agree that midlife is in the mind of the beholder. I waited and waited to turn 30 so that I could finally feel like a grownup, but turning 40 took me completely by surprise -- I never expected to feel so emancipated from girlhood. That said, I should probably sit down and write a list like yours. So that I'll recognize the changes 50 brings. :)

Best,
Lisa

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Submitted by Lisa Stone on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 14:11
 

When 30 Was Old

Lisa--

Thanks for the welcome and opportunity to be here.  I remember when I thought anyone on the other side of 30 was old.  Now I barely remember that age!  For me the 40s were fun and fabulous--I thought I was at the top of my game.  But I promise the 50s are where you get really comfortable in your own skin and life becomes more about "being" than "doing".  With that said, I'm a huge fan of lists--especially when they're not titled "To Do". 

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 17:28
 

Welcome ...

... I'm nearing that big 5-0 mark!  And my first car was a blue Pinto!  :O

PunditMom, BlogHer Politics & News Contributing Editor 

Submitted by PunditMom on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 15:09
 

Plan the 5-0 Celebration

You're a lucky woman, Pundit Mom to have survived having a Pinto.  It's shocking to think back on how dangerous those cars were.  You're going to love the big 5-0!  My theory is that with that kind of milestone birthday, you get to celebrate for an entire year.  Start planning :-)

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 17:50
 

Chip and Kim? Were They On "The Amazing
Race?"

Hi Karen,

You can tell I relate everything I hear to television!

What a great list and what a great way to introduce yourself to BlogHer.

A big, hearty welcome to you and I can't wait to read your posts.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/YouTube
Megan's Minute
Video Runway

Submitted by Megan Smith on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 16:59
 

The Other Chip and Kim

Megan--

No -- that was the other Chip and Kim :-)  But these two are pretty amazing -- and of course I'm not biased at all.  Thanks for such great feedback and the warm welcome.  I'll look forward to your comments as we dialog on midlife.

Karen

 

Submitted by midlifemuse on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 17:56
 

We have a lot in common!

Karen,

Can't wait to say hello in person next week.

Reading your list, we have a lot in common:

Mother with AD. (mine is now deceased)
Kennedy
knitting (bring some to SF and I'll join you!)
gardening
red. I'm thinking of painting my bedroom that color.
star trek (every version for me, though)
cremated
past lives
I always wanted a Pinto.. but never owned one.

But lasik terrifies me, and I hate The Wizard of Oz.
And I'm going to be spending some time working on my Midlife Trip...

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Weight for Deb

Submitted by debra roby on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 18:43
 

We Do!

Debra--

We do have a lot in common--some good like the stitching, gardening and Kennedy and some sad like our moms with AD.  I'm sorry to hear that your mom has passed on.  Sometimes it's like a lot of my mom is gone even though she still here.  AD is a wicked disease and now my best friend has it.  Whew, don't get me started here.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you but for now it'll be here on BlogHer because I won't be at the conference.  Have a "sacred" family vacation that was already planned with my little niece and my sister.  But count me in for the next conference--and we'll bring knitting :-)

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sat, 07/12/2008 - 12:52
 

Midlife and Over

Well, I've just read your list and I can hardly wait to meet you. We are both liberal Democras, love Motowng and our moms, sadly, have dementia and have moved into assisted living. Actually, my brother, sister and I are struggling right now with the decline of both Mom and Dad. Painful, heartbreaking and frustrating all at once.

I am really looking forward to the Blog Her conference. Last year was wonderful and this year may be even better.

Mary Margaret 

Submitted by Mary Margaret Hansen on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 19:30
 

Midlife Signing In

Thanks for the wonderful welcome Mary Margaret.  I always love meeting another liberal Dem and the Motown is a bonus connection!  I understand the heartbreak you're going through.  I also have a brother and sister and we watched my dad die of congestive heart failure while my mom was declining with dementia.  If you're like me, you probably cried buckets.  That's why I love blogging because there are people like you out there who are kindred spirits.  I won't see you at the conference this time but hope to see you at the next BlogHer event.  I wish I could be in SF though.

Karen

 

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sat, 07/12/2008 - 12:58
 

We've only just begun...

I'm looking forward to your posts. I know I'm not alone in my belief that life begins at midlife. We're all just getting started, aren't we? 

Cindy La Ferle's Home Office: www.laferle.com

 

Submitted by Cindy La Ferle on Sat, 07/12/2008 - 13:12
 

Love That Sentiment

Cindy--

You're so right that there is where life begins.  I look at midlife as the gateway to the better side of life instead of the path to old age.  I'm looking forward to the "being" part of midlife instead of the "doing" that was the focus of my younger years.  Thanks for your insights and it's great that we're getting started together.

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sat, 07/12/2008 - 13:50
 

Am sorry that I won't be meeting you this
weekend.

So enjoy your blog - now that I've found it. MMh

Submitted by Mary Margaret Hansen on Sat, 07/12/2008 - 20:16
 

Next Conference

Mary Margaret--

I'm so sorry I won't be at BlogHer '08 to meet you and the rest of our midlife bloggers community.  But count on me to be at the next conference.  In the meantime, we'll visit here and at Midlife's A Trip -- and it is!

Have fun at the conference!

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sun, 07/13/2008 - 07:12
 

Midlife or Boomer

Our interests and life experiences span age groups. I'll be at the 'boomers and beyond birds of a feather' also.Will let you know how it goes. MMH

Submitted by Mary Margaret Hansen on Sun, 07/13/2008 - 08:59
 

State of Mind

I'll look forward to hearing from you on the conference MM.  Here's food for thought.  Boomer -- a generation.  Midlife -- a state of mind. 

Karen

 

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sun, 07/13/2008 - 09:36
 

You're right

I like that. MMH

Submitted by Mary Margaret Hansen on Sun, 07/13/2008 - 13:25
 

Love That List!

Hi Karen,

I'm too excited to connect with you, learn more and share the adventures of midlife!

There's so much we have in common -- love the Vineyard and The Color Purple, I was an anthropology major too, I'm a liberal democrat and my family cringed when I played the clarinet (although all I ever wanted to do was play the flute!). I love to meditate and I've also "recovered" from the corporate world. Above all, I love blogging too - who knew it could be so much fun?!

Can't wait to here more.

All the best, Wendy

Wendy Battles Optimal Health Coach www.DontWorryGetHealthy.com

Submitted by wbattles on Tue, 07/15/2008 - 10:13
 

Need a Great Health Coach--Call Wendy Battles

Wendy--

Another Vineyard fan!  Isn't it the most soulful place you've ever been.  Even though it's gotten more crowded over the years, I love it.  And we have so many other things in common too!  Can't wait to hear more about how you left corporate life.  Spend some time here on BlogHer--it's a great community!

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Tue, 07/15/2008 - 19:58
 

We meet again...

Hi Karen,

I'm thrlled to come across this wonderful site and find you as the guest blogger! I love the idea of making a list - a great way to gain perspective on ones roots and better understand the woman we've become. I won't be able to attend the SFO event either, but am looking forward to hearing about it from this incredible community of women.

Maggie Rose Crane: Author of "Amazing Grays - A Woman's Guide to Making the Next 50 the BEST 50 (Regardless of your hair color!)"

Submitted by Maggie Rose Crane on Tue, 07/15/2008 - 12:10
 

Hey Everyone, Check Out "Amazing Grays"

Maggie--

It's so good to see you here.  Yet another place we've connected on the Internet.  I hope you'll spend some time getting the lay of the land here at BlogHer.  It's a great community and the midlife bloggers are very active here and on Midlife Bloggers.com .  Everyone needs to get your new book Amazing Grays to learn how to embrace the gray and overall age gracefully.  I hope you'll come back often!!

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Tue, 07/15/2008 - 19:39
 

Amazing Grays come in all colors!

What a nice surprise -thanks for mentioning my new book! I want women to know that my decision to live without hair dye was simply the catalyst that threw me up against my fears about growing older in a youth obsessed society. I don't believe every woman "should" go gray. While my book's a little about gray hair, it's really balanced somewhere between a memoir and a how-to. My intention was to share my experience and most poignant insights on what it means to be a woman "of a certain age," and how to mindfully chart a graceful course through the physical changes, emotional challenges and mental gauntlet of aging. (okay, okay - there is a bit of kicking and screaming going on too). I do address HOW to go from colored to natural again (with story and photos of how I did it) but that's simply one chapter amongst many. In truth, Amazing Grays come in all colors- red, brown, black, blonde and silver!

Maggie Rose Crane: Author of "Amazing Grays - A Woman's Guide to Making the Next 50 the BEST 50 (Regardless of your hair color!)"

Submitted by Maggie Rose Crane on Thu, 07/17/2008 - 16:55
 

Turning Over the Midlife Apple Cart....

Allison Allen

Bloomer-in-Chief, WomenBloom

http://www.womenbloom.blogspot.com

It is so energizing to find so many of us women midlifers out there who are turning the apple cart of the old midlife paradigm upside down. Boy, apples are flying through the air, rolling around on the ground, just goin' everywhere!

Love it!

Welcome Karen, I'm so looking forward to more of your thought-provoking perspective, you always have something relevant and fresh to say!

 

 

Submitted by WomenBloom on Wed, 07/16/2008 - 06:03
 

Midlife -- The Apple Cart of Life

Allison--

Love your vision of turning the apple cart upside down!  Midlife feels that way sometimes.  But would we have it any other way and just be traveling down the same weary path.  I don't think so!!  I'm looking forward to your visits and of course you know you'll see me as a regular over at Women Bloom.  And thanks for your feedback!

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Wed, 07/16/2008 - 12:17
 

The Middle

Hello Karen et al:

I've become a busy blogger, too, though it seems my theme doesn't fit neatly or  exactly in BlogHer's choices. Ah, well. I also enjoy the Elderbloggers on another popular blog, and a memoir writer's site I've just discovered. I'll achieve the big Six-O this November and we're planning a big holiday for the first time in years.

I'm also a fan of soul music, a very liberal Democrat, and enjoy ceramics, collage and othr crafts, plus a busy litle garden sight here at 4,000 ft. in the far northern mountains of CA.

My blog goes back and forth from the early/mid Fifties to present, with lots of photos and lots of hits on Clustr!  Drop by and we'll visit one another's sites!

 

Cheers, ~Kathi

 

 

 

 

 

~Kathi

http://mysisterwasastbernard.blogspot.com

i.e., An Intercultural, Educational Resource Network

Submitted by kathiwilliams on Thu, 07/17/2008 - 12:33
 

You Fit Kathi

That's the great thing about blogging is that you can pretty much create your own niche and still be part of a great community of women.  I always love "meeting" another liberal Dem who loves soul. 

I'm intrigued by your garden at 4000 ft--want to hear more about that.  I stopped by your blog--love the name by the way-- and will be back again this weekend to take your first survey.  Also stop by Midlife Bloggers and see my article on "Shadow Boomers" about life in the shadow of our 50 and 60th birthdays. 

Looking forward to more dialog, Kathi.

Karen

Midlife's A Trip

Submitted by midlifemuse on Thu, 07/17/2008 - 19:42
 

Connections

Karen and friends:

Well, I've been trotting around on your sites this early morning and I can see a lot happening. Gardening at 4000 ft. is required 'cause that's where I live! It makes for a very short season & my hubby calls it the 'plant jail' because all such hopeful experiments around here also require protection against deer and bunnies and gophers and wild turkeys, etc. One year basil does well, the next cherry tomatoes, but with frost into May sometimes, it's an adventure, not unlike midlife!

Nice to see all the reaching out and growth of women on the blogosphere as well as enjoying the fun and new friends of art and other classes. I encourage readers to get their courage up and dive into a class--you'll probably be very surprised and pleased. I've found a whole lot of new acquaintances who've become friends that way. Stick to it, and there will be rewards...for example, I joined a ceramics class last semester, and was pretty frustrated with my progress at this very unfamiliar hands-on art experiment. But the many gals my age and older encouraged me, and by the time of the final potluck, we'd exchanged emails and made plans for summer workshops together. Lucky me, and you when you try it, whatever your bliss may be!

By the way, I almost majored in anthropology, but went to English for future teaching, and 'graduated to' psychology and communication with a second Masters before I found my home in the dynamic field of intercultural communication.

I've been a counselor and program developer for a quarter of a century, but now (retired three years), I don't miss the administrations one bit (my students, I miss terrifically!). Being an ENFP 'off the charts' on Meyers-Briggs probably helps, too, as I sail into the waters of my second half ("goddesses willing and the creeks don' rise").

I'll be very happy to chat via email or respond when you visit my blog, too. Muchas gracias!

~Kathi

http://mysisterwasastbernard.blogspot.com

i.e., An Intercultural, Educational Resource Network

Submitted by kathiwilliams on Fri, 07/18/2008 - 06:42
 

Left Message

Just left a comment on your site.  Funny I'm meeting so many ENFPs out here in the blogosphere!  What's that about.  Someone should do a study--or a poll, hint, hint.  I'm off the charts on everything but the "F" and am closer to the middle on that.  Glad you're enjoying retirement and - of course gardening, even at 4000 ft.  I have rabbits and chipmucks.  Found some great spray that I sprayed on my emerging hostas.  It smelled awful but it worked.  My hostas don't have raggedy leaves this year. 

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 12:10
 

Further Connection

Thanks for the hint to try Polldaddy.com. Just created one on my bloggie, and am trying again, though I couldn't find the button to correct two misspellings, and who knows what other glitches lurk...ah, well. Nothing ventured, nothing etc...

My email is simply williams@snowcrest.net, and I'd be happy to connect with you that way also, or with any of us midlifers out there!

Cheers,

~Kathi

http://mysisterwasastbernard.blogspot.com

i.e., An Intercultural, Educational Resource Network

Submitted by kathiwilliams on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 22:53
 

well, yes, we're out here

We midlifers, that is.  Sounds like some kind of prison sentence, but I'm happy to be at this place in my life.

I enjoyed reading your first post here at BlogHer as a Contributing Editor, Karen.  Like the other women who've posted here, I too identify with parts of your list.  Okay, many parts of your list. :-)  I'm still trying to figure out if I score any points with my offspring for being a blogger, however, especially my son, a teen.

A highly entertaining read.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Submitted by Nordette on Thu, 07/17/2008 - 19:54
 

Sentenced to Midlife

Nordette --

LOL about midlifers sounding like a prison sentence!  A new perspective is always an eye-opener.  Hmmm...back to the drawing board :-) 

As for your teenage son--don't expect to get many "cool" points with someone that age.  But I can tell you that down the road--when he gets to his thirties, you have the chance to get at least 5.  Not much but it's something to look forward to.  Thanks for your feedback.

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 11:57
 

Midlife

Hello, I'm just joining in due to an article in Redbook I was reading while I was in the salon this morning trying to create a new image. My gray hair and I had a fight and I won with the help of my hairstylist. I got crazy and I look like she tipped me over, dipped me in some auburn ink, sat me straight up and I can't really tell who is in the mirror anymore. I looked in the glass and turned around to see if someone else was standing beside me. That's kind of how I feel about mid-life and being a baby-boomer.

So, thank you, all of you wonderful women, who aren't afraid to express your feelings about life on a blog. I have so much faith in all of you to bring about a reform in my life. Your comments are well taken.

I hope to get to know you better as I love to write and feel like I hit "paydirt" now. I have always wanted to write my thoghts somewhere so watch out, I am on the loose!

I never drove a pinto but my daughter did, she bought my father's (she is almost mid-life, too as she was born before my 19th birthday). Wow, I don't believe I said that. HELP! How are you coping with this aging thing?

Joanie

 

Submitted by Over 60 and Young on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 12:33
 

Say What You Want

Joanie--

Love your "true confession" about your red hair inspiration from Redbook!  And the fact that you shared about your daughter's birthday too.  Something about midlife (and maybe blogging) allows us to start feeling free to say what we want.  How does it feel?

Me and aging -- I'm trying to do it gracefully.  I'll write more on that but I did have an eyelid "refresh".  No Botox though.  What are other readers doing to cope with aging? 

Look forward to more dialogs, Joanie.  And you have hit paydirt with blogging :-)

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 16:54
 

Getting Older, and older, and.....

Hey Joanie, Sounds like you're quite on your way with new hair and a blog. I'm always quite surprised on the inside when I think of being older day by day and year by year, because my spirit doesn't feel much older than it'salways been, but when illness and the grey days of winter come, it's harder to remain optimistic, for sure.

I think everyone around us (including pets and nature) can give us a mesage of insight if we allow them to, but we need to screw up our courage and reinforce the positive energies when we feel them. Sometimes we have to just stick to a project until it takes, but remembering we have the freedom to change if it really doesn't suit us.

Maybe there are some negative influences around you that are trying to keep you down and feeling 'old'? Or just the sometimes gradual, sometimes abrupt changes that age brings us can be overwhelming temporarily. When my hair began to sprout white/gray strands around my face, for example,  that really bummed me out and I'd quickly pluck them, until they began to predominate and I thought being bald in front might be worse!

Feel free to write me on my email if you'd like to discuss this more. I think we'd be more help if we knew more specifically which parts of aging are getting you down or what you were feeling and thinking of as you posted.  Hang in there and keep on keepin' on!

 Cheers, ~Kathi

http://mysisterwasastbernard.blogspot.com

i.e., An Intercultural, Educational Resource Network

Submitted by kathiwilliams on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 21:43
 

Knowing thyself

I turned 57 in June too, Karen. Every person who wished me happy birthday noted my "advanced" age--many more than when I turned 50! Is this some sort of hump year I didn't know about?

 Your list indicates you know yourself pretty well--another advantage of midlife. We cry a lot over the disdvantages, but I love the many riches that come with the middle of my life. I can happily admit to my faults, knowing that I am not likely to change too much in the coming years. I can say to my sons, "because I don't want to" and feel I've made a very satisfactory statement of my position. They get this puzzled look and I can hear them thinking "just Mom being an old lady." I love it!

Granny Sue Stories from the Mountains and Beyond

www.grannysu.blogspot.com

susannaholstein@yahoo.com

Submitted by grannysu on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 13:00
 

Middle of Midlife

Grannysu--

Love your perspective on the middlie of midlife.  Happy 57th!  Hope you had a great June birthday.  Maybe it is some kind of hump year now that you mention it.  I'm thinking of it as time for my 3 year life plan for when I turn 60. 

My son gets that puzzled look about me too.  I tell him get over it because it's time to get acquainted with the me that's emerging from my midlife trip.

Love your blog--have been by to visit since I saw you post here months ago.  Glad to see you here.

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 17:09
 

Aging

Thanks Karen,

I feel a royal welcome here on Blogher. It feels like I found a wonderful release in stating what I feel.

I never really expected to feel "old." My mind and spirit are very young and feels separated from the body I look at in the mirror. I did see an Oprah show where one of her guests was talking about accepting our bodies. She encouraged women to undress, look in the mirror, do housework (blinds closed of course) or whatever and get used to or accept that body. I laughed because I thought Oprah was kind of going out on a limb here, but I have been doing exactly that.

It is taking me some time to accept my cellulite, wrinkly buttocks and sagging breasts, I must admit. Now, I don't gnerally walk around without covering, so I decided the exposed places would be where I have to do some work, so I started on the hair and working under it on the face, shoulders and arms. Walking and dancing to the radio with 5 lb. weights for those floppy upper arms.

It may never help but it makes me feel like at least I'm trying. Maybe it is all in the attitude - fight those wrinkles or bring them on. Should I give in to aging or try to stay on top of it? 

I welcome your opinions, ladies.

Joanie

Submitted by Over 60 and Young on Sun, 07/20/2008 - 08:37
 

Letter to My Body

Joanie--

When I first joined BlogHer they were doing a great campaign having women write a letter to their bodies.  I didn't do it but want to because at this age, my body looks different and I'm certainly looking at it differently.  It's a gap that I want to close and sounds like you're doing just that. 

And in answer to your great question, I think aging is learning how to manage the process so it occurs as gracefully as possible.  I don't want to look like a 30 year old but I want to feel comfortable in my 57 year old skin. 

Anyone else care to share a perspective on midlife, how your body is changing and how you're dealing with it?

Karen

Submitted by midlifemuse on Tue, 07/22/2008 - 14:23
 

gray hair

I can relate to Joanies experience... but in reverse. When I allowed my gray hair to grow out, I also didn't recognize the woman looking back at me from my mirror. From a brunette bob to a short silver head of hair was a dramatic shift. While I felt young at heart, the "voices" of a youth obsessed culture rang loudly in my ears. They claimed I would become marginalized, discounted and invisible. By confronting those voices and not accepting them as "true" I was able to embrace my new authentic self - and have never regretted my decision. It's not for everyone, but that's the beauty of midlife. We get to BE the woman we've become, no matter what our hair color. I applaud you Joanie, for taking the step that was right for you!

Maggie Rose Crane: Author of "Amazing Grays - A Woman's Guide to Making the Next 50 the BEST 50 (Regardless of your hair color!)"

Submitted by Maggie Rose Crane on Mon, 07/21/2008 - 16:02
 

Graying Hair

Looking at your picture Maggie (my mother's name-I love it!) you're beautiful. I applaud you for being a most gracious lady. I tried on several wigs before deciding on my haircolor. I may not keep it forever, it may be just another step to accepting my progression. because my grandchildren noticed the change (my children wouldn't admit it) and said they loved it. I take their hints to heart - perhaps they are telling me something? (Grandma is off her rocker living the life she missed in her youth.) I am having an exciting time with observant grandchildren! It is lots of fun and I feel like dancing - or so my darlings call it: Jammin'!!

Whatever my hair color, I've found that the "Jammin'" part is the real spice of life, especially with the best partners - grandchildren! I think that may be the key to accepting my age. After all if I wasn't aging, I wouldn't be a grandma.

Submitted by Over 60 and Young on Mon, 07/21/2008 - 17:59
 

grandkids

It IS truly amazing what one can learn from ones grandchildren. I find that they allow me to see the world through fresh eyes. I too, dance around the house with them, run through the sprinklers, put on "shows" and act silly. THEY give me the permission that the grown-up part of me often forgets to express - but not for long! You're so right, they remind us to keep "jammin".

Maggie Rose Crane: Author of "Amazing Grays - A Woman's Guide to Making the Next 50 the BEST 50 (Regardless of your hair color!)"

Submitted by Maggie Rose Crane on Tue, 07/22/2008 - 07:13
 

Mid-life

Hi.  This is my first time on this site and I had to reply to this one.  Yikes, reading your list was like someone standing on stage introducing me to you.  Almost everything about me is the same as yours.

Do you think it was something that they put in the water back in the 50s?

Your Wizard of Oz mentions really scare me since I just met a couple of people over the weekend who I swear were a couple of the original Munchkins which of course got me talking about the Wizard of Oz and how many times I'd seen it and how we used to love to watch it in college.

I'm looking forward to reading more and if I figure out how to do it I am going to start blogging too!

 

Submitted by Imgracie on Tue, 07/22/2008 - 13:26
 

The Fabulous Fifties

Glad you're here Imgracie.  Welcome to BlogHer and I'm glad you see some of yourself here on your first visit!  And I confess, I still watch the Wizard of Oz if it comes on.  But then I'm a ruby slippers fan from way back.  Growing up in the 50's was as amazing as being in our fifties now. 

If you'd like to get started blogging, think about what you'd like to name your blog.  What speaks to you that you'd like to start sharing with all of us.  Then once you have your name, go to a site like Wordpress or one of the other free blogging sites and set up shop.  It's pretty easy. 

Make sure to let us know where you are.  Also you might enjoy Midlife Bloggers -- another place where women bloggers our age hang out.

Karen

Contributing Editor on Midlife Issues

My Midlife's A Trip.  How's yours?

Submitted by midlifemuse on Tue, 07/22/2008 - 14:40
 

Hi Karen, Just read your

Hi Karen,

Just read your True Confessions...I can relate lol. I am relatively new to BlogHer, but, not to midlife. I'm hoping to connect with other women of a certain age as we embark upon this journey of change.

If you can find a moment please feel free to visit my blog http://Womanwise2@wordpress.com, would love your input,.. For now, I'm sooo glad to meet you and all the other women here at BlogHer!

Submitted by foxyc on Mon, 10/27/2008 - 04:31
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