TRUTHS

Whew.
Today. It's only 10am but I feel as if the day has been so long already.
 
So much talking, and planning.
Talk of prepping my body by weaning off of the medicine I've taken for anxiety, while working through things in therapy, so that I can feel comfortable making a baby in this tall silly body of mine. Tapering and hoping (knowing!) that it'll all work out and be wonderful.
 
Also, need to put more exercise and healthy lifestyle habits in place so I can get those feel-gooders flowing through my system.
 
Spin class and yoga here I come!
 
I want to be a mom more than anything. Have for awhile, but am finally ready.
 
I know it's different for everyone, but it's truly what I'm made to do.
I KNOW I'll be a good mom, I don't question it, it's just a matter of time.
 
It's funny to me that it's one thing I'm so completely sure of. There aren't many, if any, other things I've ever been so sure of. I'm always second-guessing, questioning, pondering, but there's no doubt in my mind that a good mama is nestled in my soul.
 
At the same time, I'm preparing to start my last year of university, at last. After years of back-and-forth I've stayed steady and am seeing it through. Not much longer and I'll have that degree regardless of anything that's happened along the way.
I'm proud of myself for that.
 
But today?
Today I go to orientation at a new volunteer opportunity.
What kind?
One where all I have to do is cuddle and comfort babies and play with kids. To be someone that's only there to nurture and care for them and show them kindness.
 
I can't wait.
 
Love and Plans,
Sarbear

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