Trying to be a mom when I'm not...
By Marci Wilham on December 02, 2012
I have to confess that attempting to raise a child that is not your own can be one of the most difficult tasks to accomplish daily. My boyfriend has an 8 year old daughter and while I love her to death and would do anything for her, I find it incredibly hard to be an authoritative figure towards her. And to be completely honest, it stresses me out!! I had said before that I would never date someone who had a child because it would just be too much to deal with. Although there is some baby mama drama (most of which is just simply because the mother is immature and selfish) that is the least of my worries. The hardest part about it all is telling her no. She doesn't do things maliciously or with ill intent but she does push me farther than she should. She knows I am much less strict than her father and she can get away with more when she asks me. I am completely flattered that she always wants to know what I am doing, what I'm wearing, what I want to eat, and absolutely everything else in between but sometimes it is just too much! I find myself wanting to say, please give me my space. I know it isn't her fault and she means nothing by it though. Her dad says I need to be more stern and to tell her that I need my space sometimes. I guess I'm just afraid that I'm going to hurt her feelings. Her mother is not exactly a good mother by any means and is more concerned with APPEARING as if she's a good mother than BEING a good mother. I want to be a good role model for her and be someone that she knows she can always come too. I feel like if I am strict with her that that won't be the case.
This is such a difficult situation to be in. I do not have any kids of my own yet, so being an actual authoritative figure to this young girl is out of the question. I am still an adult fun friend. While I like being viewed as this, I can't help but wish I was seen as an adult that she has to listen too. And maybe I'm just venting :) I know it is up to me to say no to the things that I need too, and to a bit more strict with her, but wow, that is definitely easier said than done!
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