Trying to do too much

Baby girl, Evie, isn't even six weeks old yet.  We reach that milestone this coming Sunday.  

In the past six weeks I have done or tried to do the following: send out baby announcements, send out Baptism invitations, RSVP to two weddings, diet to fit into a bridesmaid's dress for one of the weddings, exercise prior to my doctor approval (was supposed to get that today) to fit into the bridesmaid dress, bake and freeze desserts for the Baptism, get my hair cut and highlighted so I don't look scary at the weddings and Baptism, go to appointments to get my dress altered so it fits my constantly changing frame, cook meals for Husband's co-worker who has fallen ill, and oh yeah, learn how to be a mom and take care of my brand new baby.

And silly me here thought I was keeping up with it all.  Until today.  I checked into the doctor's office for my OB/GYN to tell me "things look great...start exercising, start getting back to feeling normal."  But I didn't get to hear that wonderful news.  Or any news.  Because I wrote down the appointment wrong.  My appointment is tomorrow afternoon.  The same time as my appointment with the seamstress.  

I explained this to the office and they nodded politely.  "Want me to see if the doctor can squeeze you in today?"  The nurse offered helpfully.  

"Yes!" I replied eagerly.  I know, I know...how out of line are my priorities?  The thought of missing a key dress fitting was too much to bear.  I understand doctors are important, but this seamstress was going to have to be a magician!  And with limited time!  No, I couldn't cancel or reschedule with her. 

Forty-five minutes I get called back up to the desk.  "I'm sorry, hon.  He's booked solid and had a patient with an emergency," she finally told me.  Sigh.  Well I'd like my hour back then, can you at least give me that?

Don't worry I didn't say that.  I know better than to piss off the people who take care of my lady parts. And while I won't get the time back, maybe it's better this way.

Because for the better part of the three quarters of an hour that I sat in the waiting room, I thought.  I thought without the background music of a screaming, crying baby.  I looked back on the past few weeks and how things have been.

I finally noticed the things I had been pushing aside.  Yes, I have made 72 homemade peanut butter truffles and 72 cross shaped pink frosted sugar cookies.  I ran approximately 21 miles. I went to two hair appointments, scheduled two dress fittings, a nail appointment, and four doctor visits (for both Evie and I).  I made it to three of those visits.  I held baby girl close for her first shot at the doctor's office. I have pumped 8 bottles of milk to get Evie through the weddings while we are apart. I have done about 500 loads of baby laundry with the ever expensive Dreft detergent.   I have changed numerous dirty diapers.  I have changed crib sheets, changing table covers, pack and play covers, found out that the swing, vibrating chair, and playmat are all machine washable.  I've agreed with the husband that we should rip out our carpets and replace them with raincoat material instead.

However, I have also snapped at my husband 1,000+ times and cried a million times more.  I've left about 1700 dirty dishes to pile up overnight.  I have 4 clean laundry piles in my room that I pick clothes from to wear and/or step around in the middle of the night to get to Baby Evie's nursery.  I have 2 rather large dirty laundry piles piling up in my laundry room.  I don't even want to think about how many of Evie's smiles I've missed while out doing all of these other tasks. 

I'm trying to do too much, but at the same time, I can't find something I can cross off or put off for a later time.  I don't know how this happened, but I'm really regretting my commitment to be in a wedding 7 weeks after giving birth and throwing a Baptism together 8 weeks after giving birth.  

So I guess I'm going to have to put my head down and keep pushing forward.  There are two more weeks of this chaotic nonsense and I have to tell myself it's worth it.  I will just start trying to keep my cool better, to catch ever smile, gurgle, and even tear that I can with Evie girl, and know that in two weeks...she and I are hunkering down on the couch for some serious, uninterrupted snuggle time with her Daddy.

Is anyone else drowning in the sea of their to-do lists?  It'd be nice to hear that I'm not alone...

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