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Centuries ago, Lao-Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".
My journey took a rather an unexpected turn just before I reached forty. I was on the radio six nights a week in Glasgow, (which was thankfully offset by the daily commute of two minute’s walk), and despite the low pay, I truly loved my job.
Potential news of the station changing ownership seemed crushing at the time, and meant it was an uncertain and sad summer, watching as colleagues jumped what was the radio equivalent of the Titanic.
I remember surmising at the time that the experience it was a lot like a break-up. There was the same sense of mourning loss, confusion, fear of the future and sadness. Thankfully, as a self-proclaimed poster child of resilience, recovery was something I knew a little bit about.
So all summer long I kept repeating, “I am open to all opportunities”, and eventually one, rainy Friday night, two weeks before the station was to close for good – inspiration struck. Needing a distraction, I’d gone to see Little Miss Sunshine and inspired by their mini-road trip, I decided then and there that I would drive across America. I mean I had no job, no boyfriend, and a little bit of equity in my flat – it seemed the perfectly logical thing to do before I turned the big four-o.
So I left the movie, went to straight Borders, bought a map of the USA, got home and posted my plan on the forum at So You’ve Been Dumped. The thread was entitled, “My fellow Americans lend me your sofa” - low and behold, they did. The invites from the across the country came from men and women of all ages and a dozen states.
Five weeks later, feeling rather trepidatious, (and realizing how insane this all was), I was on the plane to New York where I’d booked a rental car and plotted a five-week, zig zag course to California. The trip took in New England, Niagara Falls, Nashville, four of the most major cities in Texas and the Grand Canyon too.
Not only had my incredibly supportive site members offered up their sofas, even ones I wasn’t visiting donated gas money, hotel vouchers, whilst others had agreed to be filmed for what I’d loosely decided would make a documentary film…Even though I didn’t own a camera, know how to work one or know anything about documentaries,…Pah, I thought to myself, “why should I let that stop me?” Like everything else, I would just work it out as I went along…
’Course reality (and fear) set in that Thursday morning when I was due to set off across the country – ALONE. I cried, on several occasions, to my cousin Lisa, who said if I left it until the weekend, she’d do the first leg to Boston with me, but I had a rough schedule to keep, so it was a case of having to feel the fear and doing it anyway.
From New York, it was to Boston to meet my first site member Matt, a gay twenty-six year old software engineer. I was so nervous driving into Bean Town. There is always some apprehension before I meet any site member for the first time, and it’s usually for lunch or dinner or something (and by now, I’ve met hundreds), but this was different, I was staying with him and filming him too.
All these questions run through my mind, “will I like them?”, “Will they like me?” or more practical level – “what if they’re a total freak or axe murder, then what?” But if I am being truthful, the biggest question for me is on a personal level, “What if I disappoint them?” You see, I think one site member summed it up to me once, “I think people on the board, me included, impart special powers of insight to the SYBD maven over and above mere mortals, but forget that you go through tough times, too.”
The fact is – I am just trying to get through like everyone else…I don’t have all the answers and I guess deep down I worry they think I will. All my worries were unfounded. Thankfully, everyone I met on the journey was absolutely lovely. We got on well, bonded over break-ups, and had fun and subsequently many of them have made the transition from site member to real friends.
Five weeks, twenty-two states and six thousand miles later,
